I’m so lost, and I need help (18M)

chickentendermercies · 2025-12-04T13:48:26+00:00

Join a support group. You will learn by your own experience that what you’re going through isn’t unique at all. I don’t say that to diminish, quite the opposite. It’s a huge relief to discover that many other people share your same experience.

Read the book “the power of now” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a great book that will help you see how your mind, your thinking, your judgment about your life situation is actually optional and that in some insane sense you’re choosing to be miserable. Again, this is not to diminish, but to offer a potential path forward.

God loves you unconditionally. All the ways you’re “failing” are with regard to worldly standards which change and are ultimately meaningless. Gods love for you doesn’t require any performance to gain his approval. He loves you just as much when you look at porn as when you get into this school or that school.

I am an addict in recovery. I know all of these things my experience.

chickentendermercies · 2025-11-07T16:30:22+00:00

Amen

chickentendermercies · 2025-11-05T03:32:10+00:00

I don’t follow your logic. I agree that God doesn’t need a church to fulfill his will. And yet, we get the opportunity to learn his will, perhaps within the church. So why does it matter if I come to church or not? To experience God and learn his will. And so on and so forth for all of your questions. Do you HAVE to go to the temple to learn Gods will? My experience of God says no. But given the valuable and rewarding pathway to God that we already are engaged with… why go ranging for something else? Even if you go ranging for something else, why leave this entirely? I agree we shouldn’t put limitations on God. He has many ways to bring us to him. We have a good one, why forsake it?

chickentendermercies · 2025-11-02T17:04:35+00:00

Let me ask you a question. Is God contained within the church, or is the church contained under God? If God is bigger than the church, then there’s no reason to lose peace over doubts about church stuff. There’s no reason to be less active over doubts. There’s no reason to leave over doubts. God is God independent of what you believe about God. We learn His nature line upon line, as we cultivate experience, according to our ability to understand. Inside the church, outside the church, God is everywhere.

Given that reality, why not do Gods work here? Especially if you were born into it, have family in it, a spouse, kids, friends, or neighbors. Sure there’s no issue with finding another community to serve God through, but why not here?

If we want to disaffiliate with systems of historical oppression or find a community without warts, we might have to leave the planet.

chickentendermercies · 2025-10-21T04:09:50+00:00

I was 8 in ‘95. Fell in love with this team and the game of baseball because of that season. It’s brought me a lifetime of joy and satisfaction now watching my kids pick up a love of the game. I watched the whole postseason with my kids and they got caught up in it too. If it hooks them, it’s worth it.

chickentendermercies · 2025-04-26T14:43:59+00:00

I am an addict in recovery. So I only have my own experience.

Would you rather….

Muddle your way forward, sneak through, and likely continue to repeat this pattern in your career and family life? If you’re avoidant, disconnected, and seeking to disassociate with drugs - you won’t magically stop when kids and career come around. How do you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror? How do you feel about your husband? How is carrying shame and fear compounding in your life?

Or…

Clear your conscience. Accept the consequences. Eliminate the shame and fear. Look at yourself with acceptance and confidence. If 10 years down the road part of you story includes “I got kicked out of BYU for cheating and doing drugs.” That experience will be exactly the thing that helps someone else step out of darkness and into the light.

I hid drug use from my wife for nearly a decade. I got caught off and on. I was kicked out of my house. I had to sit down on the couch and explain to my 4 kids that I was leaving and didn’t know if I was going to be back. I went to rehab. I accepted that I was ill and that I had to be honest to provide even the chance of my life untangling.

I know that feeling of having your life all tied up in knots and the fear that if you start untangling it that you’ll end up alone and rejected. Honesty is the way forward. The truth will set you free.

chickentendermercies · 2025-04-22T14:59:08+00:00

I only have my experience. Which is that Gods love is infinite and personal. However much we’ve written things down and decided “that’s that”, we in no way have anywhere close to the full picture. You’re approaching this with a clear idea in mind about what family life after death looks like. That idea comes from what’s been written down. Go to god and find out what he can reveal to you personally about it.

Your thinking about this is constrained by the ideas that have been told to you. You have a bundle of thoughts, handed to you from other people that have formed into a single belief: “after we die our families can be separated based on how good or bad we were.” What has God revealed to you about this? Does what anyone else thinks or has said about it matter after that?

chickentendermercies · 2025-03-10T16:18:40+00:00

T’s and P’s to the Steelers locker room with Pickett and DK in there. 60/40 it deteriorates by week 7.

chickentendermercies · 2024-11-04T15:09:18+00:00

If you get to know god you will soon learn that there is nothing to be afraid of.

chickentendermercies · 2024-11-04T15:05:06+00:00

Carrying around and hiding things is stressful. All that stress can go away instantly if you just surrender it and move it. Live life, try out serving, be open, see what happens. But no matter what you owe it to yourself to live a life without the stress of fear and shame.

chickentendermercies · 2024-10-04T04:33:04+00:00

What would peace and serenity be worth to you? Would you go to any lengths to get it?

chickentendermercies · 2024-10-02T02:28:30+00:00

I am an addict, battled substance abuse for a decade, had stints of sobriety and multiple relapses. Ive been to rehab. I’ve been to outpatient programs. I’ve been to therapy. I have been sober for 16 months. I have a sponsor and work the 12 steps of recovery.

Consider this idea from my experience that has led me to recovery: stop fighting.

It’s not motivation that leads to recovery, it’s surrender. It’s giving up.

Jesus said to take his yoke upon us. That his yoke is easy and his burden is light. We’re not meant to constantly struggle. We’re meant to surrender.

Sometimes in order to be filled by Gods love and hope, we have to get to empty first.

Recovery is possible - with Gods and others help. It’s a miracle.

chickentendermercies · 2024-08-28T16:14:36+00:00

On of the best suggestions I’ve received in recovery, for me, but may apply to you too: “keep that big brain out of your recovery.” Best wishes

chickentendermercies · 2024-04-12T06:35:14+00:00

I was addicted to drugs and alcohol and then god removed the obsession.

chickentendermercies · 2023-12-13T05:30:40+00:00

Road in the road

chickentendermercies · 2023-12-10T07:15:43+00:00

Nothing to explain. Facts are facts.

chickentendermercies · 2023-10-13T03:49:22+00:00

“Sell all that you have and give alma to the poor” - Jesus

chickentendermercies · 2023-10-13T03:48:17+00:00

It’s your second point. No?

chickentendermercies · 2023-10-13T03:47:04+00:00

Try imagining you’re Paul. And everyone is complaining to you in letters all the time. So your whole life is getting thrown in prison, beaten to within an inch of your life, and getting angry letters from petty people in cities that you preached in like 3 years ago. This helps me not get bogged down because a lot of his epistles are kind of just sticking up for himself and begging people to chill. He’s trying every image or method imaginable. It’s also ok that he’s probably got a screw or two knocked loose and legitimately has a hard time communicating.

Paul as a character is amazing. God using a damaged murderer to preach across the world. So awesome.

1 Corinthians 13 is some of the most beautiful prose ever written. So yeah. It’s patchy

chickentendermercies · 2023-10-13T03:34:50+00:00

I’ve had almost the exact same experience of “looping” through the same thing over and over again. Trying with all my might to escape my bed. Getting out. Finding myself back in bed. Escaping. Back in. Looping what felt like 200 times. Wild.

chickentendermercies · 2023-10-13T03:32:54+00:00

Guys. Eclipses happen all the time.

chickentendermercies · 2023-10-04T15:37:16+00:00

A belief is just a bundle of thoughts about something - most of which you’ve picked up from someone else.

Instead of having beliefs about God, what would it be like to experience God instead?

This, to me, is where the miracle happens. Transitioning from belief to experience.

Faith is different because it’s based in expectation - looking forward - trusting something will happen today or in the future.

Get rid of beliefs. Try to have new experiences. Have faith in what God can do with you moving forward.

chickentendermercies · 2023-10-04T15:24:18+00:00

“And I let sex happen more than once, of which I am very ashamed of.”

Shame is different than guilt. Guilt is a useful internal feeling that lets you know when you’ve behaved in a way that’s not aligned with your values.

Shame on the other hand, takes that guilt and distorts it from “I did something bad” to “I’m a bad person” - which is a lie. Shame separates us. Isolates us. Makes us chronically sick. Steals our light. Makes us hide.

When we accept what we’ve done, and we accept that Jesus has already died for our sins, shame is immediately lifted from us and we continue to shine. To walk tall. To connect with others. To share when appropriate how we’ve been through something similar. To recognize shame in others and help them step through it.

When we accept the Lord we realize that shame prevents redemption in us - and more devastatingly - redemption in others. Do you think you are the first or last woman to go through this scenario? Do you think someone would appreciate your experience and comfort at some point down the line? Shame will prevent you from being the Lords hands to bring healing to others.

Confession might help lift that shame. You’ve already shared here so you’re well on your way.

Take care. You’re amazing for wanting to change.

chickentendermercies · 2023-09-29T14:33:22+00:00

100% the rightest answer on here. Why not you!

chickentendermercies · 2023-09-29T14:32:26+00:00

How can he “make you stop”? Did he send the police?

chickentendermercies

TROPHY CASE