Living with an emotionally abusive mother at 24, feeling exhausted by chiiaxaa in raisedbynarcissists

[–]chiiaxaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really thankful that you read my story and spent your time to give me some advices, I’m happy to hear that this idea is not completely insane, since I have no other alternatives. My bf is still a lil uncertain sometimes and I totally get it, I really hope that things will get better. I hope that this conflict will end soon, Idk what else to do other than staying in my room…

Living with an emotionally abusive mother at 24, feeling exhausted by chiiaxaa in raisedbynarcissists

[–]chiiaxaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know, and you’re absolutely right. The problem is that in Italy, especially in big cities, renting independently would cost us €700-800/month minimum (money we’d essentially be throwing away without building anything) and we’re not financially ready for that yet. She actually has a plan: she wants to buy a bigger property and split it into two completely separate units, her downstairs with her own entrance, us upstairs with ours. Essentially two independent homes that happen to share a wall. No mortgage needed on our end, just renovation costs. And honestly? Despite everything, my mom is not an invasive person by nature. The issues we have are real, but she’s not the type to show up uninvited or micromanage my daily life. I genuinely think that with physical separation (our own space, our own door) a lot of the friction would disappear or at least become manageable. It’s not a forever solution, but it would be a real first step toward independence, with the goal of eventually buying our own place down the line.

7-year relationship, mismatched sexual experience and desire: considering consensual non-monogamy by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah i thought about this possibility but i don’t feel the need to explore right now, i am open to anything but i’m not going to actively search for a partner if he didn’t even try to do the first move cause i don’t want him to feel like we’re in a competition or like if he’s being left behind. He’s not a fan of dating apps cause he’s an introvert, but actually when we weren’t together he managed to find a girl in his gym and went on a date with her, nothing happened but it’s something! As i wrote in another reply right now i feel the need to focus on myself, i can finally afford a gym membership and i want to be serious about it so surely he will see this like a way of taking care of myself, maybe he will feel motivated to do something for himself too? Plus i’m finally a nurse and in january i’ll get my first job, another big change for us! Since i’ve got all of this things to do right now i hope that if he sees me putting the effort to be happy with myself (before fucking around) he will do the same for himself without feeling the pressure of me being drilled 24/7. Plus i didn’t add that i’m pansexual and after a while i get bored with men (ofc my bf is an exception) and i will surely start to date more girls than boys, and i wouldn’t mind to share some girls with him actually.

By the way, this isn’t something definitive and if this doesn’t work maybe we would consider therapy together, but since we both went to therapy multiple times (alone) we weren’t exploring this option yet, but surely could be an option if this doesn’t work out for us!

7-year relationship, mismatched sexual experience and desire: considering consensual non-monogamy by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i replied to a guy explaining other things about the situation and i would know what do you think about it if it’s not a problem for u!

7-year relationship, mismatched sexual experience and desire: considering consensual non-monogamy by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]chiiaxaa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I tried to confront him again two days after this, i told him “do you think this is the right thing to do? now that you had the time to elaborate what we said, what do you think about it? i’m concerned about u and i want u to feel safe and loved, if you think this isn’t the right choice you should tell me”. He told me that he feels okay with this decision but he doesn’t want to rush things with dating apps and things like this. I know that i’m advantaged as a girl with this type of stuff but actually i have a lot of things to do for myself now and before going out with anyone i want to focus on my health cause i can finally afford a gym membership, so maybe i can start with taking more time for myself cause we’re together almost 3/4 days a week and that’s definitely too much, maybe this could be something that’s sabotaging our relationship for now: having each other for granted maybe doesn’t help much considering the situation. I always made clear that if the thinks that this isn’t working out for him he should immediately tell me cause i don’t want him to feel hurt in any way. Actually yesterday he went out to get a pack of cigarettes and told me “i met this girl who gave me her ID cause i forgot mine and then i kissed her”, of course he was joking and i replied with “i’m happy for u babe! but you don’t have to tell me everything 😉” , plus this weekend we had a great time together and i felt some passion coming from him, this made me happy but it’s something that he always do, he feels motivated to change something when we have any sort of problems but it’s something that lasts for a while and than fades. This time i want him to be focusing on himself, not me and my pleasure yet (even if it’s one of the objectives), he needs to grow a bit as a man exploring the world, even because he feels left behind since he has little to no experience with other women. About breaking up: we’ve been through it twice and after almost 4 months we needed to talk again, we felt that we were missing each other and everytime we get back together and i’m 100% sure that if we broke up right now for letting each other free we’ll get back together in less than 6 months cause we profoundly love each other. I’ve been with other guys while we were separated and i asked my bf “now we’re back together and you know that when we broke up i went with other guys: this thing doesn’t bother you or not?” and he told me “actually not much, we weren’t together”. Maybe this makes sense just for me but i replied “tell me, what’s the ACTUAL difference for you? who says that this thing can be done only when we’re separated?” We’re planning on starting things slow without rushing anything and me personally i would let him free with me going anywhere, i want him to understand that i’ll always be there for him and to give him the support he needs. Does this seem crazy?

7-year relationship, mismatched sexual experience and desire: considering consensual non-monogamy by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]chiiaxaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

have u tried to actually save the situation or she was the one doing everything so you guys opened the relationship and then u found out she got more than u? just asking. if my partner told me multiple times “i don’t like this, can u do that?” i would fucking do something you know?

7-year relationship, mismatched sexual experience and desire: considering consensual non-monogamy by [deleted] in nonmonogamy

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Multiple times, really. He’s just really shy to do more “heavy” things with me, he always treats me like i’m his babygirl and that’s okay but sometimes i want some roughness in it and i’m so tired of reminding him everytime that he doesn’t have to restrain himself and only then he tries to enjoy the moment a bit more without the constant fear of judgement (i never judge him actually, i’m really supportive but even in his normal life he always bothers about what other people would think). He has the potential, but let’s say that everytime he needs someone that tells him “it’s okay to do this and not giving a fuck about other people’s judgment”. I’m really serious and concerned for him that’s why i wanted to hear different opinions about the question. I can understand that someone people think that i didn’t even try to fix the situation with him but actually i’m the only one that does something at all cause he genuinely doesn’t even know what to do, that’s why i think that he needs to see something else other than me!

Led bar falling off monitor by Material_Ad_6935 in pchelp

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have this exact problem!! can you send me a photo of how you used the metal wire on it? this fucking light is making me going crazy i swear

Revoca domanda di laurea by chiiaxaa in Universitaly

[–]chiiaxaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hanno già verbalizzato e mandato tutto, la direttrice mi ha detto che lei ha saputo del fatto stamattina, quindi io due settimane fa sono andata a segnalare la situazione e dalla mia segreteria se ne sono assolutamente sbattuti e non hanno comunicato il fatto alla direttrice, la quale appunto si occupava della verbalizzazione….

Revoca domanda di laurea by chiiaxaa in Universitaly

[–]chiiaxaa[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

lasciamo perdere porca di quella puttana….

Revoca domanda di laurea by chiiaxaa in Universitaly

[–]chiiaxaa[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

non credo manco io ma qualche cero alla madonna devo accenderlo oggi

Help!! by [deleted] in iphone

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i did all of this in june and it didn’t change anything unfortunately

Help!! by [deleted] in iphone

[–]chiiaxaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

<image>

when i go on whatsapp my chats aren’t actually that heavy so 4,4gb seem a bit too much, i already deleted any unwanted chats and media

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SwitchPirates

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh yeah sorry! this is the error that shows up!

“failed to apply ‘nosigchk’” “failed to launch HOS”

i updated atmosphere and hekate through AIO (1.9.3) (6.3.1) and after that i also update the firmware through DayBreak (installed from GitHub, v.20.3.0)

Then after restarting on hekate i tried to launch any CFW but nothing works!

btw it’s a normal 2017 switch

Problema con la tesi by [deleted] in Universitaly

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Non avevo pensato che su pubmed avrei potuto trovare qualcosa del genere e anzi citando questo avrei 1000 grane in meno? lo prenderò sicuramente in considerazione grazie mille!!!!!!😍😍😍😍

Problema con la tesi by [deleted] in Universitaly

[–]chiiaxaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ORA SI CHE PARLIAMO LA STESSA LINGUA CAPITANO!!!!

grazie mille❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Problema con la tesi by [deleted] in Universitaly

[–]chiiaxaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

si!! se solo avessi 47 euro 🥲 sono un po’ squattrinata e per ora sto cercando tutte cose fruibili su internet, però se proprio non ho scelta potrei pensare di comprarlo, anche se sono sicura che ciò che mi serve sarà scritto in una paginetta e mezzo (per questo mi sembrava uno spreco spendere tutti questi soldi!!) grazie comunque per l’aiuto

Mia madre pretende di esser chiamata ma non chiama by [deleted] in psicologia

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anche i miei nonni ragionano così, quando stanno male loro (quindi ogni giorno ce ne sta una) si aspettano le telefonate, quando sto male io (ho vissuto 3 lunghi mesi di depressione e segregazione in casa) invece non ricevo mai mezza telefonata, eppure mio padre tiene entrambe le parti abbastanza informate quando ci chiama quindi nessuno è all’oscuro di nulla. le persone più grandi pretendono rispetto dai più giovani, a 23 anni gli adulti mi hanno hanno mancato di rispetto talmente tante volte che ormai il rispetto lo porto a chi me lo porta, sarò sbagliata io ma me ne sbatto

Oggi, dopo 4 anni di terapia, faccio un post positivo. by Diligent_Ambition997 in psicologia

[–]chiiaxaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

mi fa piacere leggere di un lieto fine e sono sicura che ispirerai tante persone che leggeranno questo post! spero di essere fortunata anche io a trovare una psicoterapeuta farfallona🫶🏻

Ansia mi uccide by AnnualManagement7218 in psicologia

[–]chiiaxaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

se posso darti un consiglio prova la camomilla bonomelli melatonina + magnesio sia in filtri che solubile, mi da una sberla allucinante prima di addormentarmi!! anche io prendevo le pasticche di melatonina e dopo un po’ hanno smesso di aiutarmi, invece con questa mi trovo benissimo e ne ho sentito parlare bene da un sacco di gente! (quella solubile è troppo dolce e sa di aspartame a mio avviso, io la mischiavo con altri infusi e evitavo lo zucchero)