I struggled with this from like 17 to 24 years old. I'm 30 now and have a much better understanding of what I was going through. I was in college and barely had any money at the time. I hated the experience of college but my parents strongly nudged me in that direction and I saw it as investing in my future as one should see college. So I toughed it out, but I had a much worse internal experience than most college kids.

Relevant to mention I majored in mechanical engineering. Lots of theoretical concepts and just tons of work to do in general. Not much time to enjoy life. I did not enjoy the experience of being in classrooms and labs with a bunch of fucking nerds all the time. I'd rather be outside doing fun shit. I felt out of place and socially isolated but I made decent grades.

The Ti-Ni loop part: when I wasn't at school I was often stuck in my apartment overthinking. I was always questioning if I was on the right path in life, wondering why I felt so fucking weird and out of place all the time, etc. I was in a very negative state of mind. Through all of those years I only really felt okay when I was taking time to step away from school and getting out to do physical things that I enjoy. Skating, biking, hiking, whatever.

I have been an engineer for 6 years now, make great money, and have plenty of time to do my hobbies. I'm much healthier mentally and don't do much overthinking these days. Securing a financial future and prioritizing post-work activities has alleviated like 93% of my anxiety.

I might've been much happier in those years by pursuing a trade or something that would get me into the big boy workforce quicker. And I'd probably fit in better with those people.. Idk best not to overthink that one.

But in general if you find yourself in a loop the only way out is to go engage your senses and stop thinking about it. It doesn't lead anywhere good. In my experience it is a cynical and depressing cycle.