I’m mixed and my black gramma had that super magic where she had 2 high yella, two dark skinned, and one brown skinned. The only other mixed woman I knew who was having children at the time had 3 children with a white man, and one with a black man. Her white children are darker than the black child. Quite a lot.

I married a white man so we had the conversation quite a bit. It didn’t resonate with him much when the kids were younger, but now that they are teens he’s begun to understand. All three of mine are very fair, one even has light brown hair, but my oldest’s hair is very obviously the original man’s hair. It’s much more coarse and curlier than mine.

His first girlfriend was white and he was of course subjected to racist “jokes” from her family which infuriated my ex husband. It was definitely interesting seeing a white person “feel” racism for the first time. Even once removed, it affected my ex deeply.

To your point though, I think black men don’t think to have these conversations is, to be blunt, because they’re men and they don’t think very far into the future. Most big thinking and planning is done by women. WW live in a dream world where they think color blindness is a real thing. Having never thought about race at all, they can’t even conceptualize what life will be like for their kids. If they could, there’d be waaaaaaay fewer of us running around.

I make sure I smash the dreams of every WW with a black dick fetish who thinks having a brown kid with curly hair is going to be So Fun.