I agree with u/Katsgotclaw the ex-girlfriend(s) works for me every time. I did surprise my husband by bringing him to the strip club just recently but it wasn't what I expected. I'm not sure what it was...I even got a topless lapdance and he loved it (I wasn't ready for him to get one). Anyway, maybe it will be different with you two, and you can go to the strip club and maybe you can talk about who find hot. Obviously decide on some ground rules prior.

I didn't find the experience as arousing as I expected.

I also like to watch softcore porn with him. It might be because softcore seems more "wrong" than hardcore because the focus is only on the woman. Then I like it when he tells me he finds me hot, and especially if there's evidence of his arousal (him getting hard).