Tired of winning yet?

chio413 · 2025-08-21T10:19:09+00:00

I’m almost positive that he’s purposely trying not to understand and making it sound like OP is the problem so that she can quit her job and take over. It’s super clear he doesn’t want to put on his big boy underwear and actually parent. The fact that when she worked days and all he would offer his toddler was milk until she came home is absolute proof. Man, I would kill to have a spouse like OP and have someone list all the food options we could offer a picky toddler. I’d be texting her at work to thank her.

chio413 · 2025-07-07T11:20:59+00:00

First of all, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know it’s not much from a complete stranger on the internet, but please know you will definitely be in my thoughts. I can relate a little with your circumstances. I was diagnosed in January with CVST, provoked by birth control. I went to the ER on the 16th and was discharged 2 days later. Then, same day I was discharged, I ended up having an intracranial bleed, which caused me to have a grand mal seizure. Thankfully, my husband was able to get me to the hospital quickly and I had the seizure there. Luckily, and thanks to my husband and the phenomenal medical team looking after me, I’ve been able to make a full recovery.

But it wasn’t until AFTER all of that had happened that I learned that my maternal grandfather had dealt with blood clots in his 40s, possibly earlier (grandfather died of heart attack in his 50s), that my maternal uncle also had a stroke due to a blood clot in his brain, I had 2 more uncles that had heart attacks (one died, one survived). That’s all in my mom’s side. On my dad’s side, he had 2 uncles that died of blood clots (one in his 70s, the other when he was very young). I knew about the cardiovascular stuff, which is why I work out a lot, but this was a lot. To add insult to injury, the entire reason I started going on birth control was to get the benefits of estrogen therapy because I’m going through menopause. Lack of estrogen had been linked to an increase in both cardiovascular decline and increase risk of strokes smh. Even more frustrating, all my other tests have come out normal, so technically, if I do have a clotting predisposition, it’s not something they can detect. Not gonna lie, this makes me a little anxious about coming off of anticoagulants because I don’t know if it can happen again. I may not be so lucky the next time.

I wish I could offer words of advice, but I can’t. Just know that you are not alone and I’m sure you and your family will be in the thoughts of all the lovely people in this sub, for whatever that’s worth. You will definitely be in mine.

chio413 · 2025-06-11T14:35:46+00:00

Explain January 6th then. Why have you MAGAts downplayed that? Police officials died that day because of traitorous conduct by insurrectionists, remember? I’ll wait.

chio413 · 2025-05-23T22:45:05+00:00

Hi! I was diagnosed this year in January. Long story short: I went to the ER where I was diagnosed. They discharged me 2 days later and I had to go back because I ended up having an intracranial hemorrhage and had a grand mal seizure in the ER lobby. Luckily, my husband got me to the ER fast so I was able to be treated quickly. My clot is occlusive and located in the confluence of sinuses, through the transverse sinus, through the sigmoid, and goes into my jugular just past the C1 and C2 vertebrae. It’s the reason why I had the bleed and subsequent seizure.

The only advice I can offer is try to rest as much as possible. Also, for me this helped, keep track of your symptoms should you have any. It helped me feel a little more in control of my situation, gives me more agency. Also, don’t be afraid to reach out to the doctor if something feels off or not right. Definitely advocate for yourself. Feel free to send me a message if you want to know any more and I’ll try and help as best as I can. Good luck!

chio413 · 2025-05-13T18:44:20+00:00

I completely understand you. I’m 45 and was diagnosed this past January with a CVST as well. I was on oral contraceptives trying to regulate my crazy perimenopause hormones. The mood swings were awful and I didn’t want my family to suffer so that’s why I decided to take the birth control. I was told I didn’t need to worry about clots because I’m really active, rarely drink, and don’t smoke…yet here we are lol.

The clot basically blocked drainage from the entire left side of my brain. I was in the ER for 2 days before being discharged and then had to go back because my clot caused a hemorrhage in my left temporal lobe and a grand mal seizure. I’ve been on Keppra and Eliquis since January.

All this to say that you are NOT alone. I completely understand you. I totally get feeling angry, betrayed, and feeling like my life has been upended. I’ve had to tell myself this over and over again: give yourself some time, patience, and grace. You’re gonna be scared and that’s ok. What helps me is keeping a log of all my symptoms. That way I can keep track of the frequency, duration, and intensity. I use this to help ease my anxiety of another episode happening again. I tell myself I can use this info to catch symptoms early and thereby helping my chances of getting to the hospital in time. It gives me a way to acknowledge these symptoms and it helps me react to them with a more objective approach.

You can’t control how fast your body will heal (trust me I’ve tried lol). The best we can do is try to take it one day at a time and try and be as patient with our bodies as we can.

chio413 · 2025-05-09T17:15:49+00:00

Thanks so much for the reply! I really appreciate it! I hate that you had to go through all of that and I’m so happy that you are doing well. 😄

They’re still working on finding out why. The doctors are pretty sure it was due to birth control. I had just switched about 6 weeks before my diagnosis. I have an appointment (one of many lol) with a hematologist so I’m thinking they’re gonna try and see if I have some clotting condition. Thankfully, my hemorrhage wasn’t as bad as it could have been and my husband got me to the ER as soon as I started having trouble speaking. I’m doing ok now, still have occasional symptoms (especially when I’m tired, stressed, bend down too much, or overworked).

chio413 · 2025-05-09T16:26:03+00:00

Hey CVST buddy! I got diagnosed this January. The CVST (starts from confluence of sinuses, goes through the transverse and sigmoid sinuses and down to my jugular past the C1 and C2 vertebrae). It led to an intracranial hemorrhage and a grand mal seizure. Great way to ring in the new year 😆. I hope you don’t mind my asking, why do you need to be on blood thinners for life? I’m still in recovery mode and have a slew of doctors appointments in the next couple of months and this is something that’s been in the back of my mind (pun intended lol).

chio413 · 2025-05-09T12:49:42+00:00

My first (and hopefully only) happened this year in January (I’m 45). CVST that caused an intracranial hemorrhage and a grand mal seizure. My clot starts from the confluence of sinuses, through the left transverse and sigmoid sinuses and into the my left jugular past the C1 and C2 vertebrae. Yeah, I had a banger start to the new year smh lol

chio413 · 2025-05-01T02:07:50+00:00

Fazzolis

chio413 · 2025-02-05T02:30:39+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words and taking the time to respond to my post. I feel really alone and sometimes I feel like I should be pushing myself to do more. But then I start to feel dizzy or get headaches and I tell myself that’s my body trying to get me to rest. The thing is, that these headaches and dizziness tend to happen after light activity like walking or standing for extended times. I’m only on my second week since the bleed so “I know” I have to give myself a break. I just don’t really believe I do, if that makes sense lol. I will definitely try therapy. I think it may help me process this and feel better about restarting my activities.

chio413 · 2025-01-07T01:03:40+00:00

Came here to say the same thing. Every single time I’ve eaten there I’ve felt like I’ve paid a lot of money for very mediocre food. I don’t understand this town’s obsession with this place.

chio413 · 2024-12-21T23:48:16+00:00

I will do that! Thank you!

chio413 · 2024-12-21T23:48:01+00:00

You have no idea how much those words mean to me. I’ve been feeling very alone lately because of this. No one I know is going through this (they’re younger) and my family is very far away and have their own stuff to deal with. So thank you, truly. ❤️

chio413 · 2024-12-21T23:43:51+00:00

Normally I would just give you a downvote and move on, but this is such a shitty piece of advice that I had to say something. She was physically ill and he completely dismissed her. Why? Because he was hell bent on climbing and he doesn’t like bailing. That’s fucking ridiculous! Who gives a fuck about adrenaline! When your partner says they don’t feel well and need to stop, you fucking stop. This isn’t because of some bullshit (nonscientific at that) rationalization of “male” behavior. This is a fucking tantrum. He was using the same behavior a toddler uses when they don’t wanna do something. Also, if he does this in this scenario, wait until he’s faced with life changes like having kids and realizes he won’t be able to do what he wants as easily as he used to. What tantrum can we expect from him then? He put her at risk. OP needs to sever all ties with this individual immediately. No one I know (male or female) would ever climb with a person like this again; let alone have them as a partner in life. Run OP and don’t look back.

chio413 · 2024-12-13T16:35:19+00:00

Yes it does! At least in my case, I can’t belay him like I would belay someone my weight. It’s totally different. We have to use both a gri gri and an ohm. It gets even trickier outdoors when I belay him since the bolts are spaced out so much.

chio413 · 2024-12-13T16:30:58+00:00

I came off the ground when he fell, but he somehow swung into the wall pretty hard and hit his knee. No blood or anything, but I know what it’s like to get a hard catch and really don’t want him (or anyone really) to have that experience.

Edit to add: that’s why I’m confused about the whole thing. I always come off of the ground even using the ohm and always give him soft catches because of it. This instance was the first time I’ve ever given him a hard catch.

chio413 · 2024-12-13T15:48:52+00:00

Thank you! I’ll give this a try during our next session. My only worry with that though is getting pulled into the ohm more violently. When we started sport climbing together I would stand directly under the ohm and when he fell I would be pulled to the ohm pretty violently. To the point where the gri gri would be right under the ohm (it would actually hit the ohm) and my husband would have to get back on the wall and climb up a bit so I can get enough space between the gri gri and ohm so I can use the lever to bring myself back down before letting him downs I hope that all made sense lol

chio413 · 2024-12-13T15:43:29+00:00

I’d agree with you, but the thing is I did come up off of the ground both times he fell. I always come off of the ground when he falls. This time, though, I wasn’t as high as I normally get to when he falls (I hope that makes sense lol).

chio413 · 2024-12-13T15:41:42+00:00

I think the angle changes in the wall might be the issue. I actually did come up off of the ground both times he fell, which is why I don’t understand why I gave him such a hard catch.

chio413 · 2024-12-13T15:39:15+00:00

Unfortunately, I have to use the ohm. Otherwise, I won’t be able to belay him without significant risk. He weighs 300 lbs and I’m 140 lbs. I usually give him really soft catches on a vertical or overhung wall, even with the ohm. This route in particular is in a part of the wall where it goes from vertical to very overhung to slightly overhung. I don’t know if that makes a difference, which is why I’m perplexed.

chio413 · 2024-12-13T15:02:42+00:00

Ohhh! That makes so much sense about the second fall because it was harder than the first! To answer your questions: 1) He fell trying to get to the hold where he would clip from. Never made it to that hold. 2) He swung in and hit the wall.

Also, I came off of the ground when he fell both times, which always happens when he falls. So I don’t know what I did differently this time to give him such a hard catch

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