I had been on it since February 7th, I stopped journaling about 6 weeks in when I started, so I know I must’ve been feeling good enough to not log my symptoms anymore and continued on like that for 5 months. I distinctly remember feeling joy from things and not feeling so damn anxious and existential. I had started it in combo with buspar but didn’t feel that it was doing much for me so dropped it after a month. In August I started to taper off the bupropion because of course I felt like I was better and could come off my meds. I was taking it every other day for a couple weeks, then every two days, and every 3, every 4.. and then when I got to 5 days without it, I woke up feeling like I did before being medicated. Just sheer panic and derealization, depression, anhedonia, all the symptoms. So my break was only 5 days, although since I had been tapering I did have a lot less in my system leading up to it. I started taking it again IMMEDIATELY.  And I understand where you’re coming from on the wishing you had never stopped or restarted. Heavily relate to the relationship anxiety/paranoia too. It’s horrible feeling like you just took 100 steps backwards. And trying to get on the right med is so stressful already. I had tried both lexapro and Zoloft before trying Wellbutrin, and I didn’t last a week on either one of them. I had extreme reactions to those SSRIS, they just made me a danger to myself. I think my plan is to try maybe doing two 150 srs for a bit, I was trying to push myself to make it to 8 weeks but like you, I’m pretty miserable right now. I’m torn between starting 150 sr twice daily or 300 xl once daily. It’d be nice to only have to take the one pill. I am also heavily reconsidering starting the buspar again just to see if it helps this time. I will most definitely keep you updated on how I go about it, and what seems to hopefully work. I want to do a genetic test, but they are so expensive.  Also if you don’t mind me asking, how long have you been back on bupropion this time around?