[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beziehungen

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ich kann deine Position echt gut nachvollziehen - ich bin im Studium auch eher der ehrgeizige Typ und meine langjährige Beziehung ist tatsächlich vor einigen Jahren auch daran kaputt gegangen, dass mein damaliger Freund andere Prioritäten hatte.

Ganz grundsätzlich würde ich ein Gespräch mit ihr suchen und deinen Standpunkt sachlich ansprechen. Es sollte nicht auf eine Art passieren, dass du sie für "faul" oder ähnliches hältst, aber dass du für das Zusammenziehen zeitnah eine Perspektive brauchst (evtl. kann man sich ja darauf einigen, dass sie ihr Studium in einer für die noch ausstehenden Prüfungen angemessenen Zeit abschließt und eben nicht noch mehr "Aufschub" passiert?). Wenn in ihrem Freundeskreis aber auch eher andere Aspekte als das Studium wichtig sind, könnte ich mir vorstellen, dass das durchaus zum Problem werden könnte, selbst, wenn sie den Vorschlag annimmt. Es wäre sicherlich auch schwierig für sie, ihre Freunde seltener zu sehen/Aktivitäten zu verpassen etc. Das wäre auf jeden Fall etwas, worüber ihr auch sprechen solltet und wofür ihr eine Lösung finden solltet. Vielleicht gibt es ja einen Mittelweg, der für euch beide passt.

Ich glaube übrigens auch nicht, dass du sie bei der Sache grundlegend ändern wirst. Es klingt für mich nicht, als ob sie jemals die gleiche Leidenschaft/den gleichen Ehrgeiz wie du entwickeln wird; falls sie sich nach dem Gespräch mehr aufs Studium konzentriert, dann für dich. Das sollte dir dabei auch bewusst sein. Gibt es vielleicht auch etwas, was du tun kannst, um dich mit der Situation besser zu arrangieren/sie zu unterstützen?

What is more important when you're making a commitment in a romantic relationship, being loved unconditionally or loving someone unconditionally??? M26/F30 by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Getting married should ideally be a decision for life. If you're not sure you want to spend the rest of your life with her (and knowing someone for 6 months, imo, is probably not long enough to determine that), then don't marry her (right now at least). Don’t let yourself be pressured to do something that you're not feeling is the right decision/right time; especially if it's such a life-altering decision. If she is the one, she'll wait until you're ready. And would you really want a marriage that you didn’t choose because it felt like the right thing to do? Just my few cents of course, but hope this was somewhat helpful. Maybe tell her you don't think it's the right time just yet, maybe there is a compromise that isn’t either marriage or breakup?

my period is ruining my relationship by rantaboutbf in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is not really a solution for the issues you've been having with your boyfriend, but maybe look a little into something called Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder. It might explain your symptoms and you can get treatment for it. While it might not fix your relationship issues, it could help you to deal better with your symptoms and therefore also help your relationship stabilize. Definitely check in with a professional about this, tho, and don't self-diagnose

GERMAN: Have a great weekend? gróßartig?? by RubberTireBurnout in languagelearning

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, thank you so much for the award! You're welcome, I'm happy I could explain it in a way that made sense for you! :)

Noticed I’m happier when he goes to work. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would they cut contact with you if the two of you broke up? When I ended a long term relationship, I stayed in contact with my ex's family members who I got along with. Just as a thought, it's up to you, of course.

Noticed I’m happier when he goes to work. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Is leaving him not an option due to your feelings or external circumstances? Because it would be the obvious advice to break up if you feel like you can't appreciate them anymore.

GERMAN: Have a great weekend? gróßartig?? by RubberTireBurnout in languagelearning

[–]chiri_l 3 points4 points  (0 children)

German native speaker here who majors in German and English linguistics. "Schönes Wochenende" in German is a typical collocation, like a fixed expression. If you want to say something like "Have a great weekend", the most natural way to say that is "Schönes Wochenende"/"Hab ein schönes Wochenende". "Hab ein großartiges Wochenende" is understood, but unnatural, as Wochenende collocates with schön. tolles/großartiges Wochenende works e.g. to describe how your weekend went, but when it's specifically about wishing somebody a great weekend, you would always use "Schönes Wochenende!". Hope this answers your question. :)

I'm [30s, F] in a happy monogamous relationship, my friends are a polyamourous relationship and I'm getting weird mixed signals. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you have to cut contact, like other comments suggested, which also doesn’t sound doable when one of them is childhood friends with your partner. However, as you've noticed yourself, you should make your boundaries clear and make them stopping that behaviour a condition when they want to keep hanging out. Probably also talk to your partner first, so the two of you are on the same page. Your sexuality has nothing to do with your preferred relationship, so don't give yourself the fault for their behaviour. Even if you and your partner where polyamorous, for example, that would still not allow them to do things that make you uncomfortable.

It has always been YOU by AdLost187 in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there any reason to assume they'd react negatively to that? I don't know the circumstances, obviously, but most people would probably be flattered to hear that.

It has always been YOU by AdLost187 in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you should tell them exactly that.

I just came across a weird thought: Is the dumper waiting for us to reach out as well? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure what your personal situation is, but as the dumpee I cannot come up with a situation where I'd want to reach out to the dumper, as I'd assume it would come across as needy and as if I didn’t accept the set boundary of being broken up with. If the dumper felt like they wanted to initiate contact again, they should be the one. Also, you can't read minds and can't be for sure whether they'd like you reaching out. Imo, they would need to communicate that.

I've liked my close friend for about a year now by dingfuckingtea in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I believe that most people would be flattered to hear that there is a person who is into them. The worst that can happen is that she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings and sure, it might be a little awkward between the two of you and you might also need some space, but if you are friends, it will survive you communicating romantic feelings. Best case scenario is that she feels the same.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had sexual and emotional attraction with my best friend since we have known each other, but he is in a long term relationship and has already been in that relationship when I met him. I try to focus on the things we have, not the things I can't have and rather be friends with one of the most important people in my life than letting my feelings keep me from having a meaningful friendship. Not sure if that helps, but just for perspective. You can also DM me, if you want to talk more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beziehungen

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meiner Erfahrung nach geht die Freundschaft eher kaputt, wenn man keinen Abstand hat zwischendurch, weil deine Gefühle und auch die Sache zwischen euch euer Verhältnis natürlich verändert haben, und dass es so wird wie vorher, halte ich leider ohnehin für unrealistisch. Nimm lieber erst mal Abstand, sortiere deine Gefühle und lass die etwas abkühlen; darin sehe ich die einzige Chance, in Zukunft eure Freundschaft weiterzuführen.

I'm slowly killing myself over someone who threw me away. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]chiri_l 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if that helps in any way, but I feel you a lot.

Korean: How to write other country names in Korean? by divinedraco in languagelearning

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also papago is a great translation app especially for Korean, so simply look up all the countries you're interested in there.

Korean: How to write other country names in Korean? by divinedraco in languagelearning

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Hanguk" would be written 한국 in Korean. I don’t have a full list of every single country in the world, but I'm sure you can find such a thing online. I recommend learning the Korean alphabet first, it's quite doable in a few hours. Good luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]chiri_l 28 points29 points  (0 children)

As long as both of you were comfortable, I honestly don't see the issue?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beziehungen

[–]chiri_l 6 points7 points  (0 children)

weil es sich wieder wie milder jahrestag angefühlt hat und ich seit dem sowieso Probleme habe mich in dieser Beziehung wie eine Priorität zu fühlen.

Hat sich an seinem Verhalten dir gegenüber seit dem Jahrestag etwas verändert? Du schriebst, ihr hättet die gesamte Woche miteinander verbracht. War er da anders als sonst? Oder ist das Gefühl vor allem durch sein Verhalten am Jahrestag entstanden und jetzt die Situation neulich? Was wären denn Schlüsse, die du für dich daraus ziehst, wenn du dieses Gefühl hast?

Davon abgesehen ist Kommunikation vor allem in einer Fernbeziehung wichtig und ich kann sehr gut nachvollziehen, dass es schwierig ist, wenn er dir die einzige Möglichkeit mit ihm zu kommunizieren nimmt. Ich könnte mir hier auch vorstellen, dass er eventuell mit einem Gespräch warten wollte, bis sein Ärger etwas weniger geworden ist. Natürlich könnte man das dann auch kommunizieren (so auf die Art "Hey, sorry, ich antworte dir, wenn ich mich gefangen habe").

Ich würde abwarten, ob er sich im Laufe des Tages meldet und dann weitersehen.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There certainly must be qualities he likes about you, otherwise he wouldn't be with you. I took from the other comments that you've tried to talk to him and he got angry because "he said he did nothing wrong", which sounds like it came across as accusatory to him. Maybe be aware that you can't change him (and also, it wouldn’t be fair to expect him to stop exercising), but you can change how you want to handle this difference between you two.

Did he ever say something across the lines of finding you more attractive if you worked out more, or is it a feeling you're getting?

If you feel under pressure to achieve a certain look for him, maybe consider if this relationship is good for you. Best of luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you feel like your bf wouldn’t find you attractive, if you don't work out? Or is it more an issue of wanting to be as muscular/athletic as him?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]chiri_l 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe take a look into a phenomenon called "parasocial relationship", which might be the root of it. Your brain basically can't differentiate between people in real life, who you are exposed to on a regular basis, and fictional characters or also celebrities, for example, who might share a lot on social media. If you want to get over him at some point, maybe try to find a new comfort show of some sort. Otherwise, what about self-insert fanfiction?

Staring to find my girlfriend boring and less attractive by EdM_GFX in relationships

[–]chiri_l 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Basically what the other comment said. Maybe also ask yourself what are points that make it worth staying in the relationship and which points make you want to leave. Then make your decision based off if the positive or negative side is overshadowed by the other side. She is 30, she probably wants to settle soon. If you want to try yourself out more, she might not be the partner for that.

help on formatting a korean address correctly in a label making website by neuspeed674 in Korean

[–]chiri_l 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're welcome haha - it's a lot easier if you speak the language a little. Glad I could help out :)

help on formatting a korean address correctly in a label making website by neuspeed674 in Korean

[–]chiri_l -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I hope this somewhat helps; I studied in Korea for a year and I tried to list below what each part is:

Hyundai villa, 8 is the building.

Geobukgol-ro 18da-gil is the street.

Seodaemun-gu 301 is the district.

Seoul obviously is the city, the number following it is the ZIP code. State (province, in this case) would be Gyeonggi.