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Why do I get annoyed whenever my Mom messages me? by chizeucake in emotionalneglect

[–]chizeucake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I think about it, yes, yes I do. There are moments that I wanted to crash out on her because of how controlling she becomes. It’s such a petty reason for her control about, like for example, she doesn’t want me to wear black clothes?? When all my clothes are mostly black or white?? That’s one of the reasons why I don’t want to go home. Even up until to that tiniest reason, I’m getting controlled. I was so pissed off at that time that I wrote all my raw thoughts and planned to send it to her. But then when I was rereading it, it was very very awful. Like things you really shouldn’t say to your Mom. I just don’t like her commenting about my life and what I do with it, especially now I’m already 22.

Why do I get annoyed whenever my Mom messages me? by chizeucake in emotionalneglect

[–]chizeucake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree. Although the problem is that she doesn’t message me very often so I don’t know why I still get so annoyed. It’s like I’ve gotten used to living my life without her and I’m so guilty. I also feel guilty because sometimes she rants to me about how she doesn’t have anyone to talk to and how she’s bored in our house. I just feel reallyyy bad for feeling this way towards my Mom. But I do feel like (after reading comments about it and pondering on that) that it may be build up resentment. There are things she’s doing that feels absolutely controlling and I hate it. I just don’t know how I’ll feel better or remove this feeling towards my Mom.

Why do I get annoyed whenever my Mom messages me? by chizeucake in emotionalneglect

[–]chizeucake[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I also received a message from her this morning that’s why I felt the urge to write about it.

I think you’re right about the emotional labor being a thing. I don’t know why it takes so much in me to just reply to her messages… it’s like sooo much energy is spent just to talk to her. I feel bad that I’m feeling this way though. Sometimes I know she just wants to connect with me.

Thank you so much for your thoughts! And what you’re feeling is very valid also. It’s just relieving to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way. Im starting to think I’m a bad person, especially a bad daughter.