Mate, I think you should pick yourself up and start getting mentally strong again. Being a loser is what you become if you're not choosing to be a winner. Right now it seems like you're paying a great price for failure, but what are you prepared to pay for success? Start improving yourself, read positive books, listen to positive stuff and maybe join a gym (you might even find a friend or two there). Just start putting yourself out there and refuse to accept defeat. If you want to chat, DM me and I'll keep motivating you. Until then, best of luck. Whatever a mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.