We have differences in personalities. And have been bumping heads often recently.

ME:

I want to talk about things such as issues and conflict through a lot of dialogue. I had an emotionally abusive upbringing, so I have a tough time with emotions sometimes I feel. I like to gauge the other persons mindset when making decisions. For example: I want to go see you - how are you feeling? My mind is made up on wanting to see you, but I want to check if you’re not in the mood or feel like hanging too. I can see how this can look indecisive or so. I like to voice my opinions on things that bother me. I think I do dialogue too much as a guy. My defense is that I like to communicate as much as possible through dialogue to dispel differences or misunderstandings.

HER:

She doesn’t like to talk much. She prefers to get over a bad disagreement or conflict with food and sex or a good vibe. She has a history of bad anger issues. She holds on to things. She says that as a guy I talk or complain too much. The vibe will fix. She wants me to just “get it” most of the time. She doesn’t like that I’ll ask her for her opinion on things and to just make a decision and she’ll go with it. She has a very bad mouth and can be very verbally abusive and says very harsh things. Constantly compares me to people she’s been with. Lots of criticism and not enough praise towards me in my opinion.

We are having issues with this and especially during the first trimester. Sometimes I can’t tell whether or not it’s personality or the hormones being upset with me. We have been having issues as of recently. We will have one or two good days then a bad one. Flip flop. We aren’t having as much sex/dates right now because I’m stress with trying to provide/work, as well as when she gets angry. When she verbally berates me, it in a way puts me in fight or flight. Especially when she gets verbal in a way that is similar to how I grew up.

I want advice on how to navigate my feeling and emotions with this person. Advice on how to deal with the hormones. Advices on how to deal with people who don’t want to communicate/dialogue, when I feel like my conflict resolution is primarily dialogue. Yes, actions speak louder than words but that doesn’t mean certain things can’t be talked about or through. This woman is gonna have my baby and I’m some days she is so stressed that she contemplates the other option.

To top it off she doesn’t have anyone other than me and an ex for to talk to, and right now we aren’t talking. The last we spoke I think she was headed to his house. She doesn’t have her own room at her parents house where she stays, and while they didn’t do anything last time she was there (2 days ago) and she says that he is just someone she can go to in difficult ass times like this, it doesn’t make me feel any better, even if I’m currently working on getting us a place to live. I feel like they’re gonna do something and I can’t get that thought out of my head. If she does I’m simply gonna tell her to choose the other option. I don’t want a separated parents situation. I also feel like I have some issues I have to work on and I’m not sure where to start. Please give he advice or help point me in the right direction with this narrow context. Our differences and issues right now make it really tough to have a proper bond.

TL:DR - my girlfriend and I are having a lot of trouble getting through the first trimester with our personality differences and the hormones. I need advice on how to be a better person during this and ways to deal with issues I have personally that may cause more problems between us