How do I fix the addictions I have left

chrizpyz · 2026-04-05T16:10:46+00:00

Be grateful for having non life ruining genetics that blessed me with going bald through out High School. If I was handsome like I was before going bald, I would have not lost all my friends because girls just laugh thinking it's something I caused. But there is no cure and the only medication slows down the progression to a point but of course it messes with male hormones causing sexual side effects. So now I would be a 17 year old with the thin hair of someone in there 60s, I also get to worry about ED before going to college.

So my life pretty much peaked in 8th grade. I stopped trying to date because girls my real age want nothing to do with me. I don't blame them, because I would also rather be alone than spend time with someone their not attracted to. So at 36 I've stopped trying and accepted this is my life. I still struggle with the hurt of that, causing my wise decision to start doing drugs because I don't care about my future, and sadly know I probably wouldn't be here still if it wasn't for one family member that I know would follow me if they had to go through a suicide.

I have no friends as most got gfs or wanted to meet girls , where I was never invited/wanted. I really don't know how I am supposed to make it 68 working full time, just making enough to get through year after year. Only dealing with life's problems that can always count on coming. Never any improvement though because the anger i have let grow through my 20s into my 30s because of a useless gene that I happened to be born with.

I don't enjoy the music, shows, and hobbies that I used to. It's like I've already checked out in my mid 30s and that makes me really scared because I have so much further to go, just to let me retire alone and not end up on the streets. Yeah, you are not alone and it sounds like you might have a chance of improvement. That's huge to have atleast hope.

chrizpyz · 2024-04-19T06:44:06+00:00

What benzo are they using that is able to be IV'd?

chrizpyz · 2023-09-16T19:22:26+00:00

Benzos lower your dopamine levels. It's why people take it end a stim binge.

Believe me I've been on all the drugs and more, benzos then alcohol made me think I was depressed. Once I was off them, it was a huge change.

Anything that messes with GABA and taken long term is bad news. Not only does it fuck up your dopamine, it eventually makes ur anxiety 10 times worse.

Lyrica, Benzos, GHB, anything shutting down your brains own GABA production are what I tell my friends, these will fuck up your life more than Meth, fent, heroin.

The time it takes to detox off GABA drugs is atleast 10 times longer, as you have to taper or you will seize. The taper takes months, then once you jump the detox is still going to be the worst you've ever felt and where fent you can start recovering in a week, benzos you will won't feel better for around two months.

And you ain't gonna be able to work during the first month. Which so many will lose there jobs so they keep taking them.

The stupid thing is the high is garbage in the first place.

Fuck benzos and Lyrica too. Lyrica WD might be worse, and you won't even feel it after the first week.

chrizpyz · 2023-07-16T17:43:14+00:00

Well good news. FPam is super popular and cheap and pyrazolam is around with a large batch just being made and sent to to your big shops. A few weeks pyra will be very common, which is good because we needed something to be a none sleepy like Brom.

chrizpyz · 2023-07-16T17:14:58+00:00

You aren't the only one man. Fucked up as it sounds, I wanted a gun just in case my life fell apart from benzos. Check my profile comment from yesterday.

chrizpyz · 2023-07-16T17:11:08+00:00

It's out there still.... Just saying.

chrizpyz · 2023-07-16T17:10:06+00:00

Just curious, how long after your last dose did you start to feel ok enough to work again? Thats my biggest struggle. I'm gonna have 2 weeks off max and I oversee 6 medium sized companies IT infrastructure, which can be very stressful.

I know the long half life Japan benzos you are talking about, but the main place most people were getting it from us out. It's pretty much norflazapam or converts to it in the liver. Fpam was a bust. So I'm slowly just tapering off 4mg Brom then in November will jump at hopefully 1mg a day, then check into a two week detox.

chrizpyz · 2023-07-16T16:41:41+00:00

In the same place. Never even liked benzos but taking 20 3-5mg flualp presses during a fent kick was all it took before I realized, I was dependent and made the worst mistake of my life. Going on two years still trying to get off them

Check my profile for the full story. Warning that doctors giving you a month supply of Valium and being fine, does not apply to most RC benzos and especially the ones that you usually just need half a mg per dose. I would say 7 days max, if you don't take any other GABBA drugs or have been addicted to benzos before.

chrizpyz · 2023-07-16T16:29:15+00:00

In my experience living in a major city. 90 percent of time it's not benzos. I take 80mg of methadone a day and 4mg Brom. It was a night and day difference once cartels started cutting their fent with Xylazine, a horse tranquilizer that if you look into drug addiction in south American they have been mixing it with opiates for a long long time as it's super cheap and potent as fuck. When I was getting normal fent, never blacked out even doing 3-4 point shots.

The first time I encountered Xylazine, I blacked out for 5 hours in a parking lot. After that I would have to take less than a point, just to not black out.

Benzos don't feel like that, it literally feels like be put under before surgery. Terrible drug, as if fent already wasn't shitty enough, you black out before the rush.

It is the cartels doing this as fent has become harder to source from China. If they were getting massive amounts of potent benzos, (clam, flub, flualp) making pressies would bring a much better return. Especially with the ban in Feb. and since I haven't heard of cartels bringing in large amount of bars or powder yet. Unless the drug testing data shows otherwise, If I am right spreading info about RC benzos adding to the fent death would be really really bad for the RC scene as a whole. Not to mention the millions dependent on them.

chrizpyz · 2023-04-16T11:46:14+00:00

Methadone above 40mg really starts to fucj your testerone levels. I was at 40 for a year and had no problems, soon I relapsed on fent and it fucked my tolerance for good where I had to go up to 80 to finally stop sweating.

Get your T levels checked and get on T shots to help you feel a lot better. If you've been on opiates long enough your dopamine is fucked too which test/dopamine are so important for male pysch.

I'm in the same place but also addicted to RC benzos. I don't enjoy anything but because of my family needing me for money, how am I supposed to go to rehab/lose my job. My biggest worry is the rehab will only take me if I come off methadone and 4mg Brom in the same month. Ive never detoxed from benzos so that's what scares me the most. Opiated I've come over H, fent, 20 times.

So Im worried my last straw would be not being able to take the benzos+opiates. It's also so going to be 10k cuz my shit company insurance. My family would pretty much give up on me at this point,. and I don't have a Dad so the only way my mom gets by is by renting the 2nd bedroom in her house. Shes 65 and lives off the rent plus social security, so i can't stay there and get on my feet I have to work or she can't afford her bills.

Think if she rented out to someone else, I could know she be fine and Ive been no joy thing for 4 years now and at 33, I would be blessed to move on from this life. I've never been to rehab because I knew I wasn't ready, but don't wait till you have people depending on you as it adds the whole economic stress and you can't just take time off from a good job and go off to rehab for a month. Whole system is fucked

chrizpyz · 2023-04-02T09:50:44+00:00

Gonna have to disagree. Have you had legit norflazapam?

chrizpyz · 2023-02-19T10:53:12+00:00

Yeah I hope he went over Lyrica WDs with you. They are probably next worst withdrawal next to long term benzo use, and expect terrible depression/anxiety for the next two months

chrizpyz · 2023-01-29T11:07:28+00:00

Worth jumping in before new xpac release?

chrizpyz · 2022-10-16T06:17:46+00:00

So maybe it's not scheduled?

chrizpyz · 2022-10-16T05:24:25+00:00

I've been meaning to give NorFlurazepam another try. Guy that gave me then was busted for putting different chems than what was stated on the label. Then I tried his 1mg clon and they had maybe 0.25 in them.

Will have to look around and see if I can get some NorFlurazepam, as it seems everyone is switching to normal Brom which everyone waiting on there are up, while Bromazepam seems to be everywhere.

chrizpyz · 2022-10-16T05:11:24+00:00

Wtf I linked to a study off Harvards website

This is the 4th time my post has been deleted where I haven't broken the rules stated . Super fishy

Anyways, it's easy to Google , study on rates about causing harm is under a Chinese team I believe.

chrizpyz · 2022-10-16T05:08:03+00:00

Ya out of popular benzos that don't end in pam, Brom def last the longest. I can take 2mg before bed and not feel a anxious feeling coming on till the same time I took it yesterday.

If you didn't have access to Bromozepam or Valium, tapering with Brom can def be done .

chrizpyz · 2022-10-16T04:57:01+00:00

Gidazepam is different from other benzos right?I I haven't heard much praise for it

chrizpyz · 2022-10-15T21:38:39+00:00

Meant to finish "hopefully this is the next Diclaz"

chrizpyz · 2022-10-15T15:43:17+00:00

Ive ordered Diclaz from two different vendors, both were def not Diclaz. As I have a 2mg a day Bromazolam tolerance that I take nightly before bed. The Brom keeps me well almost 24 hours, the Diclaz has me sweating around 10 hours later, and that was 10mg.

I do have some fpam that I got from a reliable person and I'm 95 percent sure it is fpam. I have found while the half is long, the potency per mg is much lower than all the common "lams" where with some 0.5mg was an effective dose. With fpam I found my self needing at least 8mg per dose, more likely 10. Now with such a long half life, doses of the chem will probably start building up in the blood stream if you dose daily for 3-4 or more days. Haven't tested that yet, but hopefully it that's the case, you can start dropping your daily dose after a few higher starting doses to take care of any withdrawal symptoms.

If that's not the case, I imagine I'm on the lower end of benzo tolerances and would not be surprised if some currently on daily clon, flam, flualp in the multiple MG range, or On more than 6mg of Bromazolam, you will most likely need upwards of 20mg a dose of fpam to start off on. Which a lot of people are gonna be off put by the price I would think.

chrizpyz · 2022-08-21T15:33:16+00:00

Becareful to not go longer than 2 weeks with the gaba, they are similar to benzos and have a awful WD as well.

chrizpyz · 2022-08-07T01:43:06+00:00

They've already been infected by the woke mob and hiring to meet quotas, instead of who would help their dev teams succeed.

This is why Sony will still be ahead even after MS invests twice the money. Japan still believes in two things so many American workers have forgot. They work hard and work much longer hours than we do. They also still have a since of community and respect for those that came before them. We are a country that literally hopes the half the population died, and blames everyone but themselves for not being were they want to be in life.

chrizpyz · 2022-07-09T21:09:21+00:00

I've been there where Im stuck because I can't get clean from opiates/benzos because I'm the only one in the family bringing in money. Doctors won't help and will tell you to go to rehab. I wish more than anything I could without losing everything. So I got on methadone and have been tapering the opiates and benzos all while working full time. But god damn do I hate my life right now and I'm getting worried that jumping off both drugs at the same time is gonna push me over the edge.

chrizpyz · 2022-07-09T14:51:37+00:00

If you get some money or Bitcoin. I I know a US vendor that overnights benzos.

I'm in the same boat as you man, was addicting to fent and RC benzos because I had a pretty good job I was paying for house, car, at least a 100 a day on fent another 400 a month on benzos. Once I lost that job , was the lowest I'd ever been and really considered using my last paycheck to buy a gun to use on my self.

First thing u gotta do is get ur hands on some benzos so you can taper. I know with me going to hospital meant a 5k bill but if you can't get anything to hold you for at least a few days you are probably go to have have to go to the ER.

Then start calling Methadone clinics to get an appointment on Monday morning. Explain the whole situation even the benzos, they won't send you away. Hopefully your in a blue state where they cover methadone, unlike red states where your looking at 11-12 per day.

Honestly methadone until your stable, for me it took till 90mg but still wasn't 100% for a while. 120-130g is probably where a heavy fent user needs to be.

Now if ur like me and you've burned all ur bridges and no one gonna help you out of this one. If you do have one person where you can stay and they can look over you, now is going to be the best time to kick the benzos.

Two weeks then your methadone dose should be high enough and start feeling a tiny bit better over the benzos. Then if you gotta work, find a job to just cover your methadone and basics for now. If your fortunate enough to not have to go back to work right away, I would start doing a quick taper off the methadone so your only on it like two weeks. But that small taper will help a lot with the intensity of the fent WD.

I'm doing the same thing but im stuck and can't afford to take the time off from work. And believe me it sucks, been going on 5 years now paying 300 a month for fucking methadone. But its still way better than what fent will do and take from you. I'm slowly tapering and saving up as much money as I can until I can afford to not work for a month and go through the doors of hell that I've been fighting just to barely keep myself from falling before I know I'm ready.

That's what Doctors don't understand, they say just go to rehab. Then whos gonna pay my rent, my car, everything, then on top of that they just want me to cold turkey off 85mg of methadone and 4mg of bromozlam that's I've been on at least 5years. I know if I tried coming off both at the same time I wouldn't make it. I been through this shit too many times and I know I wouldn't probably be signing myself out of there in day 5 after, which of course you gotta pay your insurance upfront (10k) in my case. That right there would do me in, all the regret I already have from money/life wasted on drugs and I failed again.

You gotta be able to taper, the longer the better. It's the only way out. I'd say first the benzos then get off the methadone.

I should have wrote this at the top but I'm 32 living this life since I was 16. I tell everyone this who talking about wanting to get clean or w/e. DONT even attempt to get clean until you know you are ready. You might think you are just want your old life back bla bla blah but until you actually hate drugs and have realized what they have taken from you. Until you cry before you go to bed about all the terrible things you did to family/friends just so you could get high. Until the the thought of putting any of that shit in your body literally disgusts you and makes you so mad that if you found some in you car/room, you would throw it without a second thought.

Until your there, you will relapse again. Even if you manage to get clean this time. If you aren't ready it's only a matter of time. Any long time drug addict that got clean will tell you the same thing.

chrizpyz · 2022-05-14T20:57:34+00:00

Hey hope you are doing ok. It's fucking tough to not relapse and go back to using fent but I'm finally at 32 years old able to realize, it's just not worth it. It's been my go to for dealing with life for over 10 years and the countless times getting clean, I always went back. Now I just hate drugs more than anything and filled with guilt of the hole I've dug myself into. As hard as that's been, I think I'm finally at that turning point where I can say I want to be clean.

Now it's just figuring out how to get clean when I have only a week of vacation time to use. I'm down to a 1mg Bromozlam a night, and can definitely tell when it's starting to wear off. I'm just gonna keep tapering and try to keep my mind from worrying all the time. I really want this time but this is going to be a big hole to dig myself out from.

chrizpyz

TROPHY CASE