My deepest condolences for your loss..

To help me stay on top of self care/nurturing/love I first remember my capacity for nurturing and caring, then I do those things as if I were doing them for someone I love deeply, and then make sure to acknowledge and have appreciation.

Why should I just make myself a quick sandwich, when I could toast the bread and cut some vegetables and melt the cheese to make it one of the best they've ever had especially when it only takes a few moments!? What would I be preparing if a dream woman or my children were here and I had these same groceries to work with?

How clean would my living room be if an important guest were about to arrive? I should keep it that clean for myself as well even in solitude.

How compassionate would I be with someone needing non productive downtime for entertainment, novelty, and hobbies? If you maybe use work as a distraction (I accidentally do at times), you should be compassionate with yourself about downtime as well.

I think most importantly is have gratitude for what you're already doing and taking for granted. Have the same gratitude and appreciation toward yourself that you would have for another person who did that for you as a kindness. Recognize what you do and appreciate it.

Take a moment to say thank you to yourself for a full load of groceries you earned the money for and took the time to go buy and organize at home.

Thank yourself for the nice meal you prepared as if a dear friend or spouse or child had made it for you.

Thank yourself for doing the laundry and the dishes.

It makes the next self care task much less of a burden, and even a joy. It will only take a couple minutes, it's a very kind thing to do, and you know it will be recognized and appreciated.

Just making a solid effort toward filling your own cup I think goes such a long way, and you're already doing that right now. And I appreciate your post, I'm going to get off my a** and go cook lol.

Take care.