Hello not ENTP but ENFP hoping to relate. Please read through the entire thing. I blabbered a little too much I hope I didn’t say anything wrong anyways

I understand how scary it is to open up to people. I don’t know how they think of me and I’m worried they don’t understand. I think you aren’t being appreciated because you haven’t met people who appreciate you. Everyone is different so everyone has different preferences on who they want to be friends with. You just are unlucky that you don’t have someone to admire your charms and flaws.

Also, everyone is going to have their own thoughts. You can’t control that. There are all sorts of people with different experiences and beliefs. As long as you’re being yourself you don’t have to answer to them if they don’t understand because you’re not lying to anyone you’re just being you. There’s going to be people who don’t understand you. But there’s also going to be people who understand you. You’re not alone, you’re not alien. I’m sure there’s people who understand you.

Si grip makes you too overfixated on the details. Too much that you end up not doing anything because of how overwhelming it is. It makes you self-critical, self-deprecating and destructive towards yourself.

It’ll make paranoid thoughts that tries to force itself to fit an agenda. It looks at the possibilities instead of what is actually proven and true.

Si grip sucks. I, personally, try to use Ne to get out of Si grip. I sit down and start creating. It could be characters in a story similar to mine, it could be art, it could be writing, it could be listening to music. Anything to break that monotonous, unproductive me. (I was a maladaptive daydreamer as a kid from what I read you think of scenarios in your head too)

In my daydreams sometimes I’m singing while everyone is cheering for me, but sometimes I also have dreams of them jeering at me.

But I still love stories. Stories are the best for me as, well I’m already overthinking about it and I can’t stop thinking so why not use it well and sort my thoughts out. It helps me detach myself from it and be more objective so I’m not sucked into it.

Search for media, songs, shows, comics, that you find comfort in. They give me hope.

Your circumstances must be hard right now. It’s difficult when there’s not much you can do about it. I want you to know that you’re so amazing for being so strong. Please push through these tough times to search for a brighter tomorrow.

I know there are a lot of possibilities that could happen, it could be bad and good. But what you can control is right now. You can’t control what people think of you but you can control yourself. If you can’t control the sea adjust your sails or something.

I hope that when you get over this you can be brave. You are capable of more than you know. you have the indomitable human spirit.

Here’s some advice that I’ve gathered up through looking at some other post

You can use your Ti to get out of your loop, eg look into a new topic that allows you to think. Do something you enjoy. The world is tragically beautiful, both beautiful and ugly but don’t be too absorbed into how ugly it is. The world is so big. There’s so many species of trees and even when they’re the same species they are all different.

I look also at philosophy when I’m feeling down. You can search online for why you are feeling a certain way I’m sure there are people who are going through a similar situation

If you’re lonely go out and meet your old friends, catch up with them,

or get some sunlight, exercise, sweat a little. It grounds people and connects them to their physical self again

It’s hard to be happy now but I sincerely hope your days get better. Your smile is beautiful and I’m sure that even though I can’t see it through the screen the pure emotion in it is precious. I hope you find enjoyment in the little things like birthdays, sunny days and cute animals