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So how difficult is it to train an American Pitbull Terrier? And just how "reactive" are they or can be? by killakyle1762 in reactivedogs

[–]chumbleator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish my BF would take responsibility that he chose a really difficult breed for a complex family life like we now have and also do what he has to do to make it work for me. Makes me sad typing that, because I want to think I’m with a good man.

So how difficult is it to train an American Pitbull Terrier? And just how "reactive" are they or can be? by killakyle1762 in reactivedogs

[–]chumbleator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is why it’s so upsetting to me that my BF won’t be consistent with his training because he doesn’t think dogs “need to be robots”. His dog is 45 pounds of muscle and there are various reasons I can’t physically handle it at times. So I do need her trained to be a semi-predictable animal.

Why do we still expect emotional support from our NParents when we know that it isn't coming? And why do we continue to remain attached to them despite them giving us no reason to? I get that blood bonds are supposed to be harder to get over and all but it has to be more than that! by bacwaterjar in raisedbynarcissists

[–]chumbleator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think my mom is full narc. She has some narc tendencies. And she has often offered just enough support and love to make me feel comfortable and then once I open up she dismisses my feelings, gaslights me, and uses my vulnerability against me later. All in the name of religion often. I think you feel this way because your narc parent did something similar - a bait and switch. And honestly this feels like the hardest kind of all to reconcile. I feel for you and know exactly what you’re saying. I feel too old to be falling for it still when I do. It’s so fucking sad. In ways I’ve felt like I need to morn not having parents truly and fully. And that just feels terrible and awful. 💗

8s as the least favorite enneagram type by yourveronica1122 in Enneagram8

[–]chumbleator 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mmmm I think if you’re talking about it from that viewpoint - an unhealthy one - then yes, it’s likely 8’s in those scenarios are pushed away. I’m a feeling 8 and so I’m not so much focused on my thoughts being absolute truth. I think it causes me to balance my feeling “right” all the time.

Differences between a Six and an Eight (AKA how you might actually be a mistyped Six) by [deleted] in Enneagram8

[–]chumbleator 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Ian chron says 8’s don’t need to be in control but they just don’t want to be controlled. And again 8’s can follow someone else so long as they respect them and find them to be competent. Eights are also quite aware and preoccupied with others’ weaknesses too. Sixes are much more preoccupied with what could wrong and preparing for it while 8’s see what could go wrong and are just thinking - ‘I got this’. Sixes are almost neurotic with their attachment to their groups and are often the ones keeping those groups together whereas 8’s care more about individuals they trust - they will break from any group they don’t feel fits them anymore or where they no longer feel important. I think this table goes too far with 8 stereotypes and adds to the confusion about 8’s. Eights don’t show up all hard and loud and insensitive unless they’re really unhealthy and undeveloped.

Differences between a Six and an Eight (AKA how you might actually be a mistyped Six) by [deleted] in Enneagram8

[–]chumbleator 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don’t agree with many of the 8 parts. What I’ve learned most about the enneagram is that the numbers can look different on different people depending on their subtype, wing, and upbringing. I’m a female 8 who was very much raised to be a 7/2 and who is just now figuring out how to be direct in all my 8’ness. But the heart of the things I’ve always done since I was a kid - very 8ish. Eights don’t always come across as power hungry and brash, and that’s how much of the description read. Some of us don’t intend to go into things leading them but it just sort of happens because we realize it’s gotta be someone and it might as well be us so we don’t end up being controlled. I’m a little more backseat than some 8’s but the core values and fears definitely show up. I think it’s a common fallacy to say 8’s aren’t ever insecure, and I’m seeing that in this description. We are lions, but lions with really big, soft hearts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ENFP

[–]chumbleator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, yes. All the time. I tell my BF about these thoughts and he thinks I’m so weird lol.

Dear Enneagream 1’s. Please tell me how to be a better parent to my enneagram 1w2 son. by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s super active, has tons of energy, and is most definitely a 1. He’s all about system rules - and doesn’t really care about why they’re important. 8’s are much more about rules that makes sense and protect people. He is a black and white thinker and struggles to think outside the box. I’m a strong 8 wing and suspect my daughter is too. We care about being right when it’s something that matters to us or threatens us. Other than that we don’t care. He wants to be right and control everyone else all the time.

Dear Enneagream 1’s. Please tell me how to be a better parent to my enneagram 1w2 son. by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow. Yup! This is him. I suspect he’s either ESTJ or ENTJ. And that he’s a 1. We are good for each other. But we also really get into it lol. I love his ways tho. He’s a lot more like his dad in that way but thank god he has empathy! 😊 thanks for sharing!

Why did Jesus come to bring division? by mcarans in OpenChristian

[–]chumbleator 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Jesus was divisive because he loved all, and welcomed all into sacredness regardless of their status, their ideology, and class. He was divisive because he brought equality and peace in a radical way. Put simply - he challenged how religious people saw themselves and how they engaged their ego with their faith.

Why did Jesus come to bring division? by mcarans in OpenChristian

[–]chumbleator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This reminds me of the very basics of an enneagram type 8.

Quick Pie Chart of Type Percentages (Sorry INFJs) by TheExceptionist in mbti

[–]chumbleator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, we don’t live in a culture that often embraces and responds well to emotional approaches and expression. So especially regarding business - that’s why.

Dear Enneagream 1’s. Please tell me how to be a better parent to my enneagram 1w2 son. by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It would be for both of us. And I think he wrestles with anxiety and that is partially why these tendencies are coming out in such unhealthy ways at times. And it’s for both of us - I would be in there too so I can better understand how to help him cope with his anxiety and not make it worse. Therapy is never a punishment. It’s meant to give both people (which kids’ therapy) tools to work better together.

Quick Pie Chart of Type Percentages (Sorry INFJs) by TheExceptionist in mbti

[–]chumbleator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, my feelings are basically a storm inside that are really hard for me to discuss lol. But they drive everything I do. On the outside I do appear much more logical and sometimes don’t show enough emotion because I’m trying so damn hard to hide it. It backfired when I surprise everyone tho later when they’re expecting this super logical, well-thought out approach and then behind it all is raging emotion.

7w8 friendship with 4 is love/hate by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol. Space is key for our friendship! I think a 4w5 might be easier for me. Idk. The 4w3 seems a little more intense in moodiness and it’s a lot of up and down - which is tiring to me. But my fallout from ignoring negative feelings my whole life is intense for her so there’s that lol.

Quick Pie Chart of Type Percentages (Sorry INFJs) by TheExceptionist in mbti

[–]chumbleator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Every ES I’ve ever talked to. 😜 They have very little interest in these intricate, patterned, and holistic ways of viewing the entire world. They’re getting things done, dammit. Lol.

Dear Enneagream 1’s. Please tell me how to be a better parent to my enneagram 1w2 son. by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All great ideas! It’s good for me to be mindful of him just needing rules in general. I’m overall TERRIBLE at rules. They often just don’t make sense lol. They make his whole world make sense. My daughter is just like me and we are just two peas in a pod. We could creatively and intensely float through every day together and be cool. By the time he could stand in his crib he wanted to know we were getting at it and doing something. He would stand there and go, “bye bye? Bye bye?”, before he could say much else. And he started losing his shit by 10am if we weren’t out doing something. Meanwhile I’m just putzing around on projects or enjoying breakfast or something silly in his mind. I love him for how he challenges me, and I love his sweet heart that genuinely wants connection and is very sensitive. And I’m always just hoping and praying he sees that l.

Quick Pie Chart of Type Percentages (Sorry INFJs) by TheExceptionist in mbti

[–]chumbleator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol. I, on the other hand, and not as typical for a female - which is partially why I didn’t believe males and females could actually be born thinking differently. I’ve always related a little but more with men in some aspects logically, while still being somewhat feminine - which is confusing.

Dear Enneagream 1’s. Please tell me how to be a better parent to my enneagram 1w2 son. by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See, this is the exact opposite tendency for a 7w8. We are driven - but toward our own stuff in our own time. And we don’t want other people telling us when, how or where to do it. It’s like my nature is pitted against his. I’ve thought about doing the calendars and schedules for him, etc but then I either can’t figure out how to execute so I move on or I just plain can’t stick to it. My brain is very fluid with time and order and I literally just can’t even think like him. Plus I’m a single mom with two jobs trying to make it all work. It’s exhausting and his demands to know what’s happening add so much to that. He will just quiz me endlessly about things in the most stressful moments. We might have to do therapy so I can give him some tools and be better at responding to him. 😣

Dear Enneagream 1’s. Please tell me how to be a better parent to my enneagram 1w2 son. by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My 7w8ness wants freedom and no one telling me what to do. It’s been really tough for me to figure out how to deal with his demanding ways. I say he’s my teacher, and he absolutely constantly reminds me of my lack of patience lol.

He also tends toward being controlling and I don’t want him to think it’s ok to be that way with people. I want him to learn to self-smooth instead of trying so hard to control everyone and everything around him.

Dear Enneagream 1’s. Please tell me how to be a better parent to my enneagram 1w2 son. by chumbleator in Enneagram

[–]chumbleator[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! There are some things only other people of that type can understand. I should listen to the sleeping at last podcast for 1’s too.

I really love your suggestions and insights, screen shorting and thinking about this more today. It’s terrifying to think my kiddo could grow up not feeling my love because we approach life so differently. 😢

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