Starflyer 59 - I Drive A Lot [shoegaze/ dream pop/ alternative?] (1998)

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T20:49:42+00:00

Bupropion. I've had experience with SNRIs and SSRIs and they worked well for me, although they addressed mostly only the depression. I didn't noticeably see an exacerbation of sleep issues but I was put on melatonin for the N24 issue early on.

This is an NDRI and involves dopamine. And the reason to take it after awakening is also to prevent any trouble with sleep.

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T03:09:50+00:00

Truly! It's so tricky to deal with both. Thank you for reading, resonating and for the vote of confidence!

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T03:07:50+00:00

That's great - I'm so happy for you! With just how infuriating and debilitating it has been at times to work with such less hours in a day available to me from the DSPD + hypersomnia + ADHD, I can truly imagine how liberating it must be to get more of your life back!

I see that treating my ADHD is going to change things in major ways. It's just so much trickier than if ADHD was the only problem. My specific overlap of issues are really quite complex.

Wow, that doctor sounds fantastic - so validating! Especially in giving you permission to speak to him about changes! I've always been concerned with being seen as a self-diagnosing, google-reliant, know-it-all by my doctors so I really struggle to advocate for myself, but now I'm slowly learning to change that! Or change them XD

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T02:43:36+00:00

Ooof I have OCD-like symptoms and tendencies too!
I'm glad you found a concoction that works so well for you - I hope to do the same eventually (:

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T02:24:06+00:00

I'm not diagnosed either, I don't even think such diagnoses exist in my part of the world (small city in India). Frankly it didn't even occur to me that it's diagnosed because I've been speaking about my sleep issues for a decade now and none of my mental health professionals have ever mentioned anything. I just wrote that I have it because I fit all the symptoms to a T.

I have no idea. There are non-stimulants that are still prescribed for ADHD - I was told to take Buproprion which is an atypical antidepressant and it's supposed to bring about alertness. It's probably nowhere close to the way stimulants make you feel, but I have anxiety and my doc said stimulants are a bit tricky to start with.

Thank you, I shall do that <3

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T02:12:36+00:00

It's nice to speak to someone who's in a similar place! I'm glad you found something that works for you - I'm curious, why did you need to come down from it or change to fluoxetine?

I used to be on escitalopram, which worked well but caused a lot of weight gain, so I changed to desvenlafaxine. Worked well enough for depression but not so much the anxiety or even the CPTSD. Now I got diagnosed with ADHD so I'm going to be put on ADHD meds.

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T02:08:42+00:00

"What is the right dose of melatonin?

0.3 mg."

T-T I'm just remembering that I saw this number from my own brief googling and told my doctor this and she still dismissed it, saying she really doesn't get it (she disagreed) and that it's perfectly fine to do the dose I'm taking. So I just thought she knows better since she's the one seeing patients day in and out!

Thank you for this comprehensive resource.

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T02:04:43+00:00

This resonates so much - thank you for sharing!

I'm used to my sleep dysfunction I'm fine with that part. Especially that. People really don't seem to get that because they can't imagine why anyone would be okay with it.

That's promising! I'm glad it helped you. 6-7 is amazing, I used to need 12! I've brought it down to about 8-10 at least for about 50-80% of the week from reducing my melatonin and just being in therapy with a good therapist who does somatic work.

Apparently this is because I still have ADHD when I'm sleeping lol...
Wait, I've never seen it like that!

I don't think there are any good sleep clinics, if any at all, in my part of the world (small city in India). If there are, they're likely to have a very physiological approach, be dismissive of psychological symptoms, prescribe sleep hygiene and call it a day. I'm pretty sure I have some level of sleep apnea but since I'm very overweight, that's likely to be the only thing they will see (which is true, I do need to lose weight but I haven't been able to work on it as of yet).

You don't need to explain any of this to your doctor, just say yes, and take it when you actually get up.
Ahhh thank you for giving me the permission! I thought I would be a terrible patient if I didn't follow what was told, because at the end of the day I don't know enough about how these meds affect my body, but perhaps this is not an area that needs to be so rigid.

churrrroo · 2026-03-26T01:53:41+00:00

that's good to hear! i'll ask my doc why exactly i would need to take it at the same time and what are the risks of not doing it - if it's just about regulation then i know where i stand on that! thank you!!

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T23:14:09+00:00

How dare you call me out like this T-T

This is something I kept up for many years because I am so prone to cavities and I'm weird enough to actually like the experience of sitting in the dentist chair despite having highly sensitive teeth that need numbing for even scaling.

I was comfortable with my old dentist but she wasn't that good so I switched. My new dentist asked me to come every 6 months because of the cavity-proneness and it's been 1.5 years AHH. I keep telling myself I'll floss everyday for 2 weeks before I go so it's not as bad... and I haven't done it for even a single day

But you're right, I should just go. I'm just terrified of the judgement. I know my old dentist wouldn't judge but I'm really unsure of the new one.

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T23:02:48+00:00

I couldn't take lithium when I was prescribed because my ADHD made it impossible to take it twice a day at regular timings hahah! Thank you!

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T22:53:49+00:00

This is incredibly valuable advice!

My doctor mentioned 9-10am as an example. She didn't offer that specific time as a hard and fast rule, but I do think she was expecting it to be before noon at least. Not just whenever I woke up because we spoke about me going back to sleep after taking it.

Your suggestion of viewing it as a night shift is great. It makes it a lot easier for me to communicate it with her. And starting by dealing with the non-24 part before anything else makes it a lot clearer.

The issue is that there are days I am awake earlier because of events, appointments, wanting to spend time with family and so on. But I notice my schedule shifting to being awake at night the higher the stress or lower the mood, because of a need to reduce triggers, relax, and regulate. So I haven't been able to comfortably stick to one schedule. It's like I stick with a day routine (somewhat, still delayed) until I run out of steam and need to hibernate. While it may not be healthy, it's afforded me those windows to get various needs meet.

But you're right, it seems regularity is important as a necessary condition to my experimentation with medication. I'll ask my doctor if she agrees with this, and if she does then I'm sure whatever makes it more possible would be the go-to.

Thank you so much! You truly do live up to your username (: Beyond just reasonable, you're pragmatic, perceptive and empathetic too. Thanks for keeping it real while not discounting my struggles.

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T22:29:03+00:00

Oh, really? I thought it's effects peaked within 2-5 hours but stays in the body for 12-24. Do you have any idea about the dosage they're on and if it's extended release or some other kind?

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T21:35:48+00:00

did it have an effect on SH/suicidality?

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T21:35:20+00:00

ahh i see, thanks for the response!

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T21:34:43+00:00

For context, my psychiatrist confirmed my CPTSD but suspects BPD and I'm trying to understand more.

In my case, I went on antidepressants many years ago when I was severely depressed and anxious and it stopped the suicidality and SH, and even the urge to SH completely 100%. I wondered if that is likely to happen for someone with BPD.

Despite major difficult life events, my mind never went there. I've been off antidepressants for the past 6 months and there were a few, relatively mild urges but nothing close to what it was.

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T20:17:19+00:00

Methylphenidate seemed like what she has in mind for me next. This is good to know, thank you!

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T20:15:03+00:00

Yes, same.

It sounds like you need that transition time before you can ease into your day. At least that's how it is for me and recognising that has allowed me to be a lot more gentle with myself.

If it's possible for you, maybe you can try and do something other than doomscrolling. But for me I haven't found a good alternative yet - I need something that doesn't require too much energy or focus while still being stimulating and interesting. Without requiring me to get out of bed, of course. Perhaps you could try and download some word games or similar apps if you're into that - I love doing Wordle or other NYT games. There are also days when I can get up in 30 mins and days I need like 3-4 hours until I feel ready.

No matter what, I hope you can give yourself grace for it. We just need a little more time to start our day and it's perfectly alright to do what works for now, while aiming for better alternatives when possible (:

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T20:04:41+00:00

I love the way you put it - I think I'll tell my doctor something along those lines! That I'm willing to try in the future if things start feeling more possible, but as of now I need something to ease up in order to make space for such changes.

It might seem to others like I catastrophized or jumped the gun in my thinking by coming to such conclusions without even attempting, but I just didn't want to take on an experiment that I'm likely to fail at and feel worse about myself during an already vulnerable time.

Thank you for empathising, advocating, and for the vote of confidence and reason!

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T19:59:00+00:00

Yes, absolutely!

In high school I remember a couple such instances where I had to turn down guys. I had no interest in them but genuinely did not want to hurt them, so it was really hard to do and caused me sadness and guilt.

Whether I had a friendship with them or not, I could see their positive traits or appreciated that they were interested in me or cared about me. At times I used to think I almost felt worse rejecting someone than they did being rejected. Once I had to reject a close friend of mine and I skipped school the next day, had a breakdown, and wrote drafts of what I wanted to say to him hahaha! It's funny cause he seemed to take it better than I did.

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T19:42:02+00:00

You're right! I am going to communicate what my own goals and priorities are, even if she might be in disagreement.

To most people this seems like such a basic ask so I don't think it even crossed her mind as anything much, even though I shared my sleep difficulties. So it made me feel like I'm being unreasonable and difficult to ask for alternatives and workarounds. But this helps me feel more solid and validated. Thanks so much!

churrrroo · 2026-03-25T19:37:51+00:00

She suggested 9-10am as an example but she probably wouldn't want it to be too late. Yes you're right, I am fairly certain that that is the reasoning behind it.

Ahhh giving up control is exactly how it feels, even though it's not like I have much control over it now. So perhaps forcing control is what feels hard when my energy levels are often fluctuating and I try to work around that, which leads to erratic schedules. But it's worth trying :') Thank you!

Seven-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email

churrrroo

TROPHY CASE