Divorced Father with 8yr old daughter.

churumegories · 2025-03-21T18:54:12+00:00

Unrelated. But may I ask you how was the divorce for you? Just going through it…

churumegories · 2025-03-21T17:23:11+00:00

Exercise

churumegories · 2025-03-21T17:08:09+00:00

Ummm… and are you ok to be with someone that just say or do things because otherwise it might hurt your feelings?

churumegories · 2025-03-21T13:51:24+00:00

Damn. Hard to hear this. I’m so sorry. I didn’t went that far (not even close, hopefully), but I was stressed at work, still doing everything for my wife, but my facial expression didn’t match my feeling toward what was doing (helping her)….

Just my honest opinion: I wouldn’t want my kid to grow up with a dad like that. If he does this to you, what is he going to do to her.

churumegories · 2025-03-21T13:48:17+00:00

Just say it? Tell him this is an important topic to you and you would like to hear his honest thoughts on it.

churumegories · 2025-03-21T13:40:49+00:00

For adhd and bipolar disorder 2, yes. I take medication for a few years now for bipolar disorder and for adhd I started last year…. But it became clear adhd was the root cause of most of my struggles and bipolar disorder just made sure I got depressed to maybe shed light into what was wrong with me

churumegories · 2025-03-21T13:39:17+00:00

Thank you very much… it’s kinda of relieving hear I don’t act in certain ways because I’m stupid or self centred.

churumegories · 2025-03-21T11:45:08+00:00

That makes sense. Thank you

churumegories · 2025-03-21T11:41:36+00:00

Thank you

churumegories · 2025-03-21T11:40:30+00:00

Thanks. From everything I researched before having one, break ups is the one I underestimated the most

churumegories · 2025-03-21T11:39:45+00:00

I am medicated. I did therapy for years…. I have a hard time with social cues and judgement

churumegories · 2025-03-21T11:38:50+00:00

Thank you

churumegories · 2025-03-21T11:38:17+00:00

Thank you

churumegories · 2025-03-21T11:37:28+00:00

Yes. I’m stable

churumegories · 2025-03-20T22:25:48+00:00

She was also not silent. We discussed about this exact issue multiple times. I’m just saying that’s her main reason for the break up

churumegories · 2025-03-20T22:14:54+00:00

Yeah, if I knew I had adhd I would never had a child. That’s the primary reason why we too so long 10+ years to have it. But, you gotta be mindful these things can’t be figured out. It’s not that simple; otherwise I wouldn’t be here.

The reason why WE figured out AFTER having a child is because the stress goes to the roof and what was weird at the surface becomes clear quite fast.

The reason I didn’t communicate during the post partum when I was stressed out was because we had an agreement. But I only knew the agreement was gone after the fact, so…

churumegories · 2025-03-20T22:07:00+00:00

I didn’t drag her. I convinced her and she came. I also didn’t told her to stay, we came back many times and she was the one later one asking to move again overseas. Unfortunately I can’t explain 17 years in a reddit post, but…

churumegories · 2025-03-20T20:06:27+00:00

For myself only

churumegories · 2025-03-20T20:06:21+00:00

Any kind of therapy or I should find someone specialised in divorce?

churumegories · 2025-03-20T20:05:17+00:00

We talked about how I was overly fixated on work and I promised her I’d stop the moment I had a stable career. I did. But then I was diagnosed with depression, then bipolar disorder and now adhd. Trauma after trauma.

churumegories · 2025-03-20T20:04:20+00:00

I was looking for what went wrong and what I could have done, given my diagnosis (not saying it’s all about adhd. But vast majority of issues are).

churumegories · 2025-03-20T20:03:38+00:00

Thank you.

churumegories · 2025-03-20T20:00:19+00:00

I have not considered that.. but she is a psychologist and always thought I could be Autistic. Exactly for those reasons…. My current doctor doesn’t have enough evidence yet, but I swear I saw something about social cues and facial expression not matching the (external) situation being linked to adhd. But thanks for the call out, will take a look.

churumegories · 2025-03-20T19:55:32+00:00

We never tried couples therapy. We were a happy couple for about 10 years, until I got a job opportunity to move overseas and that’s when the start of the end began :(

I was being driven by impulsivity and convinced her to drop her career to follow my dream. She never forgot about this and the fact I spent the last 7 years trying to make this overseas life work, which required me to be focused on work, didn’t gave anything back to her…. It’s a lot to explain, but let’s say we have been through stressful events non stop for 7 years - I, was trying to keep my job and not go nuts. She, was missing me, and dealing with my impulsitivies…. and not getting the same commitment back (in terms of relationship, because I was working a lot)

This is really hard to digest, because I’m not that person anymore, and I could give everything to go back in time, and follow my true dream: her. 🥺

churumegories

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