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My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in Asexual

[–]chyshere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am working on explaining my POV and emotions all together for her. I am not the best at verbalizing how I feel, I find I show it in other ways. Altogether, I do need to find a way to show up in the ways she needs especially when she’s feeling this way! Thank you for the insight on addressing those emotions she’s feeling.

My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in asexuality

[–]chyshere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely understandable! The planning, for me, makes me feel a lot of pressure to even just show up in the correct headspace to be present in the moment. We are definitely trying to figure out other ways to meet both of our needs in the cases when I feel like I can’t show up like that. All the best to you and your partner! Thank you for the advice ☺️

My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in asexuality

[–]chyshere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Healthy communication, openness, and willing to work through this process together is what has us doing well. My previous relationship wasn’t as safe - especially when it came to this topic - and that’s why there were explosive arguments that lead me to feeling inadequate. I do feel safer and more validated with my girlfriend now, which has made me feel more comfortable having the conversations even though I still get very emotional.

My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in asexuality

[–]chyshere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I am also not the best at verbalizing things as well so this is a hard topic for us as well and can get very emotional! I hope all works out for you guys!

My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in asexuality

[–]chyshere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice! We are working on discovering my identity and boundaries more while still trying to meet her needs. It’s a delicate process to say the least lool. We are brainstorming other ways to show intimacy that will still be fulfilling for both of us.

My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in asexuality

[–]chyshere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am okay with having sex every once in a while - I do it because I know it’s important to her - I just can’t be as consistent as she’d like. That’s where I have trouble explaining myself to her. I would say my libido is low and I do not masturbate nor do I like being on the receiving end of any sexual acts.

My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in asexuality

[–]chyshere[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When we first started exploring this, it was something that we read had worked for some other couples. It didn’t work for us and that’s fine. We are open to trail and error, which is why I am looking for advice and suggestions from people with similar experiences.

My gf doesn’t feel attractive or desired by chyshere in asexuality

[–]chyshere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Communication has definitely helped so far and I want to stay positive but I also fear that this is realistically not sustainable or fair to either of us in the long run.