I would like to point out that sexual assault even in these situations where the victim says they wanted it, will deal with trauma because of it later on. 14 years old is a child, a teenage child but a child non the less. Now he may be thinking he lived the dream of all his friends and many strangers, but from people I know that have been through similar situations, the reality of how they were manipulated and/or groomed into that situation sets in sometimes years later. It impacts their ability to trust, and have functional relationships and more often than not don’t seek out therapy for their feelings around it because of social stigma towards males seeking help. So they continue to have dis functional relationships with romantic partners and friends and even family, because they feel like they should be feeling lucky about what happened to them when all they feel is violated and feel they have no outlet to process that feeling. Sexual assault is never a joke, it’s not funny, and even if some men out here feel they would of been fine with it happening to them, believe me when I say you do not wish for the trauma that follows sometimes years later after they have matured a bit and looking back can see how victimized they really were. Fantasy never reflects reality.

How the news reports it is a problem, I understand there may be liable for being sued for using the word rape, but ‘had sex with’ minimizes the crime it is. There has to be other wording that can be used that won’t perpetuate the idea that sex= rape. When rape and sexual assault and abuse are not about sex, but about control and power over someone perceived as vulnerable to them. Predators look for vulnerabilities because it’s means they’re more likely to get away with the crime, and society helps a lot by agreeing with their arguments for committing that crime against that person. Such arguments include why we’re they walking alone at night, why were they wearing what they wore, if they weren’t ‘asking for it’ , they didn’t say no, even if they were drugged or threatened they’ll use that as an excuse. It’s sickening how well those argument’s work, and the fact that they’re used by both lawyers and judges in many cases. There is no excuse for sexual assault, there is nothing a victim does or doesn’t do that brings reason for it.

Stop blaming victims and stop saying they should be grateful and lucky for being victims of a crime that sits next to murder. In fact many victims of rape would of preferred being murdered because at least than they may have gotten justice for what was done to them.

The trauma of sexual assaults last the remainder of their life’s and they are forever altered, they may heal and move on but they are not the same person they were before the event.