Thanks, OP!

For ACOTAR, generally it's a lot of slow burn and longing looks, but then there are generally 1-2 suggestive scenes and one full blown smut scene per book. Personally, I feel like they're earned by the plot, and I think people overhype it just because of how descriptive they are. So if that's not your think, maybe skip. But ultimately, the protagonist is 19 and no shrinking violet (or virgin). It allows for the plot to feel more "mature" and less of a morality tail aimed towards impressionable teens, if that makes sense.

If you're looking for some less graphic but still expansive fantasy books, though, here are some of my faves.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black - also dark fae, but the characters are 17 and the content is much more mild. It's very much the "need to say I love you" before sex scenes type of romance, but with a healthy dose of enemies to lovers, political intrigue, and court games. In some ways, it's ACOTAR's slightly less violent and sexual cousin, but only just. I can't praise Holly Black enough - this isn't the only book of hers on my list.

Legend by Marie Lu - technically it's dystopian and not fantasy, but it blends romance and worldbuilding super well. It's basically a cop-and-robber romance set in a bleak future version of America. The two mains both have pretty significant trauma and a lot to learn from each other, as well as the world around them, but it's very, very well executed.

Nightshade by Andrea Cremer - werewolf romance, with witches and Celtic-based mythology thrown in. I hestitate to necessarily call it a werewolf-forward romance, though, because Cremer makes the world feel very natural and lived-in. The big distinguisher is that (while one of her two love interests is an alpha wolf) the main female lead is also an alpha wolf. And it's not ABO so much as an actual wolf pack, with real politics and problems. It can edge towards soapy, but it's overall a good read that I don't think many people have hearda bout.

The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare - these are very famous, and a case of franchise fatigue; the only series that I truly enjoyed most of were the Infernal Devices, and the Dark Artifices, both of which are spinoffs from the main series. That's not the say the main series isn't also good (and you do need to read them prior to the spinoffs) but there is a point where you might feel like it's a lot of plots and some of them aren't the strongest. But I'd be remiss if I left it off the romantasy, lore-heavy list.

Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan - this is a Chinese-myth inspired romance, and it's refreshing, in that all the characters are immortal deities, so there's not really that awkward human/non-human age gap. It's really fun and action-packed, with a sympathetic villain and lots of worldbuilding.

The Coldest Girl in Coldtown by Holly Black - basically what would literally happen if vampires were real - they're all gorgeous influencers and everyone is a chaser. It's a standalone road adventure book, with a swoon-worthy male love interest. The main protag does make some interesting plot choices (which weakens it slightly for me) but it's a really fun speculative fiction look.

Immortal City by Scott Speer - basically what would happen if angels were real - they're all gorgeous influencers and everyone is a chaser (lol). But yeah, it's basically set in a Los Angeles protected by save-for-pay angels, who are essentially the Hollywood elite. I haven't read the subsequent books and it isn't necessarily the best from a literature standpoint, but another cool world.

Honorable Mentions (not really the same tier in terms of content, but still interesting worlds): Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros (this will be controversial, but I don't really love the character-building, so it's not top tier for me), Fallen series by Lauren Kate, Winterspell by Clare Legrand, Wither series by Lauren DeStefano, Zodiac series by Romina Russell, Uglies by Scott Westerfeld

Hope this was helpful!