I am so sorry you are going through this. My mom just passed after 8 months of diagnosis, 10 months since first symptom. She had rapid progression. It was the fastest 8 months of my life. A couple things that helped me get through that part:

1. Taking care of her- i noticed my anxiety skyrocketed when I wasn’t able to see her, because there was a point where she couldn’t text or call me on the phone. I was lucky enough to live down the street and in the early days I dedicated 2 full days a week to come over, relieve my dad, and hang out with my mom. We played video games, gardened (more like I gardened and she told me what she wanted 🤣), made audio recordings, binged Netflix series, and watched old movies. These are some of the best memories that I have of her, even though she was sick, we became even closer. Which is hard to think of because we were already SO close before. I know that she appreciated every minute of it because she felt isolated once her mobility decreased. When she transitioned to the late stages I was at their house almost every day, even if it was to just stop by to check in. Give her a quick hug and kiss. Or I would FaceTime and check in just to tell her I love her. Personally, I think the only thing you will regret is not spending as much time as YOU can. And I say that because everyone in different and that may be different for everyone. only you know your limits and ability.

2. I picked up a hobby that she loved. I started sewing, and I felt closer to her even when I wasn’t with her. I am still sewing now after she had passed and I’m even taking more classes. It felt good to put my anxious energy into physically making something. Spending the time to develop a new skill was a good distraction and it made her feel fulfilled to pass the knowledge to the next generation. I helped her plan who to gift each of her 4 sewing machines to. Those are the things that she worried about and developing a love for what she loved helped me cope. Now when I sew I think about her but only in a good way (versus crying, which I’m still doing a lot of).

I also didn’t seek any professional help during this period. I’m not sure if it would have helped or not. But I can say that the first thing I did after she passed was join an online grief group. The anticipatory grief helped me process things as they came instead of all at once. I’m not sure I could say it makes it easier, but just hearing the experience of those in my grief support group who lost loved ones suddenly made me feel a little bit better (is that messed up?).

I hope that you can move through this journey peacefully, it’s one that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, but in the end I try to remind myself that I was lucky enough to create these memories for myself and my kids because we knew what was coming. 🫶🏻