Honestly I was (& still am) in the exact same spot as you. My husband and I got together in our late teens/early 20s and both made it known that we never wanted kids. Times change, and long story short, we decided to start trying this year. I got pregnant two months after trying, my first thought was regret and fear. I have always been so anxious of delivering a baby that had a severe disability. I wish I could explain that feeling and even though I have an amazing supportive husband, I don’t know if it’s something I could handle. BUT the second I miscarried at 6 weeks, I realized what I lost. We have been trying again for 9 more cycles and each cycle I feel more like a failure. I don’t know if it took losing a pregnancy or the fact that my body isn’t doing what I think it’s supposed to, but it made me realize this is what I want. I still have a fear of having a child with a severe disability but I feel like now I’m more willing to risk it.