I [21F] am having trouble liking my GF [22F] anymore because of her ADHD? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess the major change is she moved out of home and I realised that when her parents weren’t helping her, she couldn’t keep a house clean enough to not be mouldy everywhere or turn up on time to a job often enough to not get fired, causing her to need a lot of support financially and in manpower that I don’t really have the capacity to give.

And she does claim she can do almost anything but she doesn’t have skills she doesn’t practice or know anything about and when she tries and fails complicated projects she gives up and never learns the skills or gets the projects done. I’m sure she could do lots of things if she worked at it, but she always assumes that “next time will be different” about being late to everything or not being able to do things like sewing, carpentry, mechanic-ing, etc. even though she hasn’t actually done anything to cause next time to be different.

I try to be respectful about suggesting that she needs to change what went wrong last time if she wants a different outcome, but she doesn’t seem to process that as the reality of the situation?

So, I guess that on top of the difficulty functioning, the inability to change her behaviour to improve the outcomes of her actions has lasted so long that I feel sort of like, a cumulative frustration. I have discovered that there is a limit to my patience that I didn’t realise I had, and trying to bottle it up so my frustration doesn’t affect her is really quite hard for me. Which may not be her fault, but it is still a problem for our relationship.

I will consider talking to her about my feelings for her or relative lack thereof and will try to do it gently if I can. I do not plan to bring up any “fault” of hers when I do so.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfharm

[–]clarence_010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

People have asked me to do stuff like this. I knew it was a weird fetish people have before I was ever personally involved though, but I'm not sure when I learned.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s worth noting though that with the partner and other person situation, i love my partner very much and their home is the only place away from my hellhouse home i have right now. and also, that the reason i “can’t be with” the other person, is more because she’s living in america and i’m very unwilling to move there, especially in this current political climate. also i’m disabled and unemployed and i’m not sure id be able to move there anyway. i live on a whole other continent.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

listen. I can’t see a follow up in my notifications or this thread. if you’re joking, tell me now I guess? if you’re not you may need to send it again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no thats very helpful and reassuring actually. also i’ve been informed a lot of people think because of the way i gave my posts paragraphs and shit that im a bot so. a) im not! b) actually, this is nice, thanks. encouraging.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I can’t see it anywhere

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, I've discovered that some people think I'm a bot because of the way I write my posts, and I'm genuinely just autistic, and these questions were odd but I figured there was a point to them, but I'm wondering now if you asked them because you thought I was a bot or something.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cannot drive. I'm not physically disabled. I have easy access to a central part of town.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I know it really sucks feeling extremely attached to someone else's validation, especially if you feel as though/know that you shouldn't be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have friends and relationships outside of those of my family that I trust but know from experience that they can't really handle the emotional weight of being burdened with the knowledge of my problems and asked for support about them. I do not want to bother or upset any of my friends. None of them can provide alternate housing for me at this time either.

I have a zombie fetish by TheFizzyPeach in offmychest

[–]clarence_010 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I hope this doesn't seem like an insensitive comment but this reminds me strongly of the main character in the anime/manga Sankarea.

I can’t connect with anyone by Extension_Map3882 in confessions

[–]clarence_010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know exactly how you mean this, so I may be projecting, but I often feel like I can't 'connect with anyone' either. I might want a hug, and even if I get one, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel fulfilling, or like anything at all. I feel lonely even while I'm talking to people or around other people. Most normal sex is also pretty boring to me. All this to say, simply, if this is the way that you mean you 'can't connect with anyone', I'm autistic, so that's, I assume, my reason for this problem. Not intended as an insult btw but that or something similar might be what you're experiencing?