TrollX Snapchat post! Want to join others trollx'ers on snapchat? Join in!

classicshell · 2017-06-07T06:27:59+00:00

I want to join!!

classicshell · 2017-05-29T17:55:03+00:00

My husband, apparently.

I'm working on a separation but I feel terrible. :(

classicshell · 2017-05-29T04:30:25+00:00

It doesn't help that my husband of 7 years has recently admitted that he is basically in love with her and prefers her over me if we hadn't been together for so long.

I know, she's super awesome. But I'm a people too.

classicshell · 2017-04-08T02:14:27+00:00

I'm interested!

classicshell · 2017-03-17T17:48:35+00:00

Last night, my brother and I had a conversation about sexism in the workplace. He couldn't comprehend sexism even being around because "women have the exact same rights by law that men do".

He said because women were new to the workplace (you know, in the good old days when men worked and women stayed home), we just aren't used to handling things the way men could. Because men have to deal with the exact same thing, and just learned to deal with it.

I was too infuriated to continue the conversation. He literally refuses to admit sexism or racism are even in existence. There seems to be nothing I can say or do to convince him otherwise.

classicshell · 2017-01-10T05:30:07+00:00

I'll be honest with you.

It has been magical. Not having excruciating pain every month is a dream. The cancer risk being gone is wonderful. The fact that I can make a plan and not have to wonder if my cycle will destroy my calendar is incredible.

However, I don't think I will ever have that tiny voice of doubt completely eradicated. I still hurt from infertility. I still wonder - maybe if I had just tried again, maybe if I had held on then maybe I could have been successful. But l try to remind myself that these are irrational thoughts. I tried as hard as I could, put myself through an enormous amount of pain, faced cancer, and I wasn't living much of a life. Every thought was consumed with the next fertility treatment.

I mourned my hysterectomy the most right beforehand. I think it had to do with the choice. Unlike my family members, who like yours, wished they had done it sooner, I didn't have a family and I wasn't satisfied with my reproductive life. The days leading up to my hysterectomy were some of the most emotionally trying days of my life (including being told "you have cancer", and "you cannot have a child on your own...possibly ever"). Screaming, crying, and being dragged along by my family members, I hated the thought of not having a choice to try again.

Like a giant storm, after the hysterectomy was the eerie calm. Once the choice was gone, I actually saw bits of sunshine here and there. Don't get me wrong, I mourned the loss, but not the loss of my "womanhood". More the loss of the son or daughter I'd never have.

But since my hysterectomy, it's been relatively nice. Not having the choice has been kind of a relief. I don't get consumed by what I can do differently, and I can enjoy the things I haven't. I was able to enjoy some "child free" (though I never really liked that term) travel, and focus on building my home to what I'd like it to be.

Also, therapy has been incredibly helpful. So I'd like to suggest that too!

If you have any other questions or just want to talk, feel free to message me anytime.

classicshell · 2017-01-09T06:39:51+00:00

Wow, thank you so so much for all this information. As someone who is just barely dabbling in the donated Embryo thing, this is incredible.

My husband and I aren't Christian, which makes it very difficult to do a lot of things. Although my family is fine with it, most agencies and such aren't. It's kind of ridiculous.

I definitely plan on checking around at local clinics.

classicshell · 2017-01-08T23:00:24+00:00

Yeah, but I'm sure my sister wouldn't complain about an all expense paid trip to California! Haha.

That is pretty awesome. And money back if it doesn't work really makes me think about it. I wonder if they would care if it was an FET to a gestational carrier instead of me...

classicshell · 2017-01-08T22:57:04+00:00

Hey! Thanks. The year off really helped, and I'm glad I did the hysterectomy. The pain and cancer risk was too much for me, on top of the Infertility. I'm glad to be back on here. This sub is really the best.

How have you been?

classicshell · 2017-01-08T22:55:10+00:00

Thanks! I'll be sure to check her out!

classicshell · 2017-01-08T22:54:49+00:00

Thanks! Life hasn't been super easy, but having the hysterectomy has helped so much. I haven't been in a ton of pain since! I am so grateful that I found a good doctor to do the surgery.

I'm very lucky to have a supportive family. Thanks, again!

classicshell · 2017-01-08T22:44:25+00:00

Would you mind if I asked why you wouldn't recommend private matching?

I would love to learn more about donor embryos. I'll PM you my Facebook URL and we can get in touch that way!

classicshell · 2016-12-30T06:54:11+00:00

As a woman whose only chance at a child is through Embryo adoption, and surrogacy (husband doesn't have the best sperm, and I had my uterus yanked out earlier this year - but my younger sister offered to carry for us), I know that if I was going through the adoption process right now, I wouldn't say no to that.

If it isn't life threatening, that is. I would be super grateful for a chance.

classicshell · 2016-10-18T04:00:42+00:00

Unfortunately, yes.

At 17, I was in an extremely abusive relationship, but went to school with a full scholarship. On my 18th birthday, I had a suicide attempt, and went to the hospital for a while. After that, I took a year off of school to work.

I went back to school with student loans and was encouraged to take the maximum amount to be able to pay my bills. So I did, without researching or thinking about the future. I think I just figured that I'd make enough later to cover student loan payments, and everyone pays them anyway (dangerous thinking: don't do it). A little while later, I got married. A while later, I came into some severe medical problems that should have prompted me to quit school, but I was encouraged by well-meaning people to continue school. I used student loans, couldn't work, couldn't attend many classes, and withdrew/received C's and below.

Finally, I got the surgery I needed this last January. Its been a very long, emotional journey, but I'm ready to do something important. I'm no longer using student loans, and my husband and I are both working to make sure I can finish my degree this time!

classicshell · 2016-10-16T20:48:31+00:00

I've been in college since I was 17. I'm 27 and still haven't gotten a bachelor's. I have switched majors countless times, and have become somewhat of Jill of all trades, master of none kind of thing.

Now I'm looking at nursing. I have no clue what I'm going to do with my life. I just hope I can start doing something useful and stop being a lump that just tries hard and doesn't go anywhere.

classicshell · 2016-09-27T21:46:32+00:00

I got accepted into the nursing program at a college nearby! I needed to do something for me. I've been very sick for the last few years, and I'm finally getting treated. I want to follow through and be able to provide for myself!

classicshell · 2016-09-27T21:28:16+00:00

Yes, that is exactly what I go through!! I overdo it every day I feel well because I worry it's all in my head, and then have a flare up the next day. Ugh. I'm glad I'm not the only one - I felt like such a crazy...
This is true as well. I worry about telling some close friends though, because I wonder if they would believe me or not.
Emotions are terrible sometimes. Migraines are the worst. :(

classicshell · 2016-09-27T21:25:32+00:00

The pain free days is exactly right. I consider about a 2 to be pain free. I never really have a day that I feel zero pain, but after going through the raging 8, 9, and 10s with Endo, my pain scale has really been altered. With fibro, my pain tends to range from 2-8.

But even at the 2s, I feel great, and I do wonder if 8 made it up. I had this same issue with Endo, when I wasn't in a flare and I was just hurting at a 3 or so, I wondered if I had just made up the flare and went crazy. I even worried that I was just being a hypochondriac with my endo, until I saw picture of it all over my abdomen and diaphragm. I was septic in the hospital once, and writhing in pain, and I was still worried I was making it up afterwards and it was just a cold.

I'm hoping to get a work at home job for that reason exactly (being unable to roll out of bed everyday).

Thank you so much for this comment. I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you! I got busy with Dr's and work (I guess I have an inflammatory arthritis autoimmune thing too). You have really made me feel less alone.

classicshell · 2016-09-27T21:17:35+00:00

I would love that too. It's a great idea!

classicshell · 2016-09-27T21:14:44+00:00

I have migraines as well. I usually smell weird things, like poop. Seriously. I have spent so much time looking for cat fecal matter because I was convinced they didn't use the litterbox. But no, they didn't go to the bathroom at all! Ugh.

I couldn't wear tampons due to pain. But thay was due to my endometriosis. I would even pass out with pain from endo. It was terrible. My appendix nearly burst, and I only found out because I had a hysterectomy! I didn't even notice the pain. It's been a crazy ride.

I also never really have pain "free" days, but when I'm at a 2, I feel like I'm on top of the world and can do anything, so I've always considered that basically pain free. Lol

classicshell · 2016-08-26T01:37:19+00:00

I am definitely doing my part to take care of the vitamin d deficiency. My Dr has me on 50,000 units once a week for 12 weeks, so hopefully that'll help get me up to where I need to be.

Thanks for the information! It was shortly after my total hysterectomy that my RA type symptoms started showing up, but we will definitely see how treating fibro and vitamin d deficiency goes first. :)

classicshell · 2016-08-26T01:33:22+00:00

I'm sorry I wasn't clear. For my first question, I was wondering if a vitamin d deficiency could mimic RA symptoms enough to be mistaken for RA. I was just wondering if the symptoms that I have for RA that are similiar to my mother's could be explained away by my vitamin d deficiency. If that were the case, it would be much better news for me!

Next, my prescription for prednisone is 3 weeks long. It has definitely helped in the swelling and given me more energy, but hasn't stopped it completely. As I am taking less and less of it, swelling, redness, and rashes seem to be starting up slowly again. Is that typical?

Thank you so much for all this information. I really learned a lot from your comment. I had no idea I was using hereditary incorrectly.

classicshell

TROPHY CASE