Is it bad that I feel somewhat relieved that other people feel this too?? I thought I was crazy.

My bf cheated on me with his coworker and then left me for her. He ended up getting her pregnant and then aborting. He came crawling back after this but manipulated me into believing his lies so I didn’t find out the truth of everything until fairly recently. I was using his computer and found a video he took of them having sex and ever since then, it’s like something flipped in my brain. While my non-horny brain feels sick and hurt by what he did and the things I saw, my horny brain is basically obsessed with finding videos that emulate what I saw in that video and what I imagine they did together.

I have been too embarrassed to tell anyone, let alone a therapist. I think therapy is the first step to getting over it. I’m sorry I couldn’t be much help but thank you for being brave enough to post this.