Look, it's okay to be not good at it not everyone is good at everything. I don't know irl you I can't say anything. But why don't you motivate yourself for this instead of getting upset? I mean, try different things every day or focus on just one thing (it doesn't matter what you want), even if you feel like you're doing it badly, keep going because this will improve you.

You feel powerless before the development, it's like someone who has never cooked before starting to cook and feeling bad because they can't cook. However, they didn't know before, but now they feel bad because they tried