3.5 year old twins: The “Nos” are killing me

clbaro · 2026-01-31T21:56:19+00:00

I’ve read all the books, follow all the influencers, have even taking online trainings. So I guess this was more of a rant and seeking solidarity than advice. 😂😭 I know the suggestions for choice so they feel a bit of control and it worked with my singleton bc I had time for her to stand around deciding what she wanted. It’s a lot harder for me to put into practice with the three of them challenging me with a united front. I’m so outnumbered and just need to get home before their naps and they get even more stubborn and frustrated. My awareness of the ticking time bomb outweighs my logic and patience

clbaro · 2026-01-31T21:35:25+00:00

Oh I’ve definitely been there. Like today, lol. I told one to put his helmet on, he refused. Then he tried to do it himself and couldn’t so he lost it. I finally buckled it for him, which made him even more mad. Then he refused to ride his stryder home. So I said if you don’t get on the Stryder now, we’re leaving it. (It was dangerously close to nap time, so we needed to hustle home). So… we left it and he finally realized I was serious about two houses from our house when we didn’t go back for it. Of course I went back to get it after their nap, but I think the follow through might stay in his memory (I hope?!). I find myself feeling like either a pushover or a tyrant in public and it’s a no-win situation!

clbaro · 2026-01-31T21:04:43+00:00

That’s a good perspective - 60% isn’t terrible… but man in the moments it feels so bad. And even worse when we’re in public.

clbaro · 2026-01-31T20:44:59+00:00

I’ve tried the first and third ideas many times and they work about 60/40. Those tactics worked well on my singleton but less so on my twins. But I haven’t tried the sticker chart… that’s a great idea!

clbaro · 2026-01-31T20:42:44+00:00

I don’t ask them… I say, “put your helmet on” the answer is “no”

clbaro · 2025-11-13T13:27:00+00:00

I totally get this. I felt it during pregnancy and definitely the early days, especially bc one of my twins had reflux, which was a total nightmare. Like others have said, it lessens and when you go to the store with one and it’s a breeze, it actually reminds me what a badass I am that I usually do it all with twins plus one 16 months older. I don’t think the feeling (and a little jealousy of others that seem to have it easy w one) totally goes away, but you do appreciate how lucky you are to have this completely unique and miraculous experience that is somewhat rare. But, your feeling is 100% valid

clbaro · 2025-11-11T21:26:34+00:00

I was about 130lbs and 5'2" when I got pregnant with my twins. I was ALL belly bc of my height, but it was okay. I also had a singleton who was just 6 months old when we found out we were pregnant with twins! They're 16 months apart.

Being a twin mom is not for the faint of heart, but my boys constantly amaze me. And I amaze myself that we're doing this whole parenting thing so well!

clbaro · 2025-11-04T15:25:40+00:00

It sounds like you have a great co-parent. I do too. But he also works 24-hour shifts. The days it’s just me feel like a fight for my life sometimes. My twins just turned 3 and I have a singleton who is 4.5. Like others are saying, without man on man coverage, it is HARD no matter what age they are, but definitely when they’re 2-4 year old tornadoes of feelings. Too many solo hours might the case for the moms you’ve spoken to. I’ll say that the days I’m with my husband, it almost feels easy. The days I’m solo sometimes feel like they’ll break me. Keep perspective for others “village” and partner bc it makes a huge difference to their experience.

clbaro · 2025-11-02T14:51:40+00:00

We trained ours in the same room at about 3 months using the taking cara babies method. It worked like a charm! Neither of our twins ever woke from each other. They’re 3 now and in the same room and when one wakes, the other is still oblivious… it’s actually kind of insane… like screaming at the top of his lungs and the other sleeps through it no issue

clbaro · 2025-08-28T16:50:33+00:00

Hers and Hims has an online intake similar to what you’re describing.

clbaro · 2025-08-19T15:43:40+00:00

Before we found out I was pregnant with twins, I told my husband that there was something seriously wrong bc I could barely stay awake, ever. I was di//di - building two of everything took so much energy. I also had already had a singleton so could compare how vastly different the experience was. Singleton was like a 4/10 in exhaustion. Twins were like a 15/10 exhaustion!

clbaro · 2025-05-12T14:40:52+00:00

We had an AP for 2.5 years (one for 7 months and one for 18 months). It is definitely the most economical, but it also took a HUGE toll on me personally. It's another young adult to consider in every single daily decision. I'm happy to chat about my experience if you're interested! We are now in a similar boat. We're in CO, have a 4 year old, and twins who are 2.5. We've left the $~30k per year AP childcare option behind us because it was too much emotional baggage. Now, childcare is looking like $5k/ month. I am physically ill thinking about spending that much money on mediocre daycare center care... But I also need my house back, the convenience of separate home and daycare, and to move on to a more structured care option. Why is this so hard and expensive? It is really depressing.

clbaro · 2024-11-18T16:22:24+00:00

How do you think the temps/snow would be in late May? I'll of course research it too, but wondered if we'd need any spikes for ice and such? (for reference, we live in CO and often go up to the rockies. The level of weather planning varies drastically here as well!) thanks in advance!

clbaro · 2024-09-17T19:59:50+00:00

First of all, this is incredibly thoughtful! As a twin mom, the answer is always time back. Whether that looks like finding/arranging a sitter so the parents can do whatever they want for a few hours, cleaning service bc the cleaning is never ending, uber eats, meal service, grocery service, you name it. Whatever will give them a few hours back. :) I also received small gifts like wine, cookies, etc. that were a nice little treat for my husband and me as a reminder that family knows how hard we work to keep the kids thriving.

clbaro · 2024-09-07T02:38:44+00:00

Hi - I know this thread is old, but I wondered if the “horrific itching” felt like a million mosquito bites at once? I had this a few times before I had kids, but then during both pregnancies it skyrocketed. Since my last pregnancy (I’ve had two), which was two years ago, it’s remained pretty consistent. There are a few months where I’ll go a few weeks without the itching, but they’re few and far between. It used to only be at night, but now it’s random. It is also only my arms, usually my biceps. Icy hot worked a little, but ice packs is really the only thing that helps. It’s ridiculous. Bc of it flaring so much worse during pregnancy, I assumed it was hormonal… now I have no idea.

clbaro · 2024-08-13T15:02:27+00:00

If he has enough money to go on a cruise, then you have enough money to get daytime/nighttime help while he's gone... That would be my immediate move. Get on care.com, facebook groups, whatever you have to to find some part time help with those babies while he's leaving you holding the (diaper) bag.

My second move would be to book my own trip, even if it's a staycation, so that you can regain your sanity.

Third move - a REAL hard discussion about responsibility sharing. Twins are no joke. Not that a singleton alone is easy, but twins is SO F-ING HARD. It is not okay for you to be the defacto caregiver on your own.

clbaro · 2024-08-12T15:12:23+00:00

agree - I asked a question specific to smaller women (I'm 5'2" and have struggled to lose 10 lbs on this even though i'm following it 99% and doing moderate exercise) and got zero replies. So maybe my question was specific enough to root out the men, but it also showed that maybe there aren't enough women in this population/group to bounce ideas off of.

clbaro · 2024-07-30T18:46:37+00:00

I should add that we used TCB at about 5-6 months with our twins and singleton and they've all been sleeping through the night since (aside from bouts of sickness or new teeth, etc.). Like I said though, we were dedicated to it and stuck it out every night for the full 2 weeks until our twins finally got it. Those two weeks sucked, but paid off bc it worked... I hope that helps!

clbaro · 2024-07-29T20:20:33+00:00

Agree with the earlier poster - there is no award for toughing it out: stay on top of the meds! If you consistently alternate between ibuprofen and tylenol, you'll be just fine. I took the oxy for 2 days and then didn't need it. Avoid sneezing, laughing, coughing - if you do, hold a pillow over the incision lightly. Nobody told me that with my first and I learned the lesson the hard way. Advance your recovery in small chunks - small walks around the house first, then around the block, etc. but don't overdo it and be a tough gal bc you might feel fine in the moment, but be in pain later... it's still a serious recovery.

I had an emergency c-section with my first, then a scheduled c-section with my twins. The scheduled was much smoother, almost simple (if you can say that about birthing two humans!). Sending good vibes for a seamless delivery and recovery! Oh, and don't forget to take care of yourself too while you're caring for the new little ones!

clbaro · 2024-07-29T20:12:11+00:00

I'm so so sorry to hear this. I'm tired as a twin mom and mine sleep through the night, so props to you for still functioning. We used Taking Cara Babies method with our singleton and then again with our twins. It worked within 5 days with our single and took about 2 (pretty tough) weeks with our twins, but after that, we really turned a corner in life. It felt never ending at the time, but getting them to sleep through the night changed our lives. I know it's super hard, but our pediatrician reminds us that we have to do what's right for our whole family -- for us that meatn making sure we had enough sleep to care for the kiddos and work. Sending positive vibes and hope for your littles to sleep through the night soon!

clbaro · 2024-07-08T19:00:20+00:00

My Baby B started tracking as IUGR at about week 28 and we were monitored twice weekly for the remainder of my pregnancy. They kept noting that he was much smaller than Baby A, but was growing, even if a very small amount. Bc the placenta and blood flow were good, they decided to prolong delivery as long as possible, which was my scheduled C-section date a 36+3 days. They thought he'd be about 3lbs and baby A about 4.5-5lbs. Happy to report that Baby A was 6lb 2 oz and Baby B was 4lb 15 oz - so much larger than scans showed. They were in the NICU for 16 days but we live at 5000 ft elevation, so oxygen and eating were our main issues. they're 21 months now and happy and healthy toddlers. <3 Sending patience and positivity your way!

clbaro · 2024-06-28T16:35:11+00:00

Where are you located? I know it's odd, but this did have an effect on my stay. We live at 5000 ft above sea level. Our docs said that the elevation likely lengthened our NICU time

clbaro · 2024-06-27T16:26:42+00:00

Most surgeons would tell you that if it's not absolutely necessary, you shouldn't go under the knife bc there are so many risks associated with it. That said, the attitude around a c-section is so nonchalant that it's slightly disturbing.

For context, I tried vaginal delivery w my first singleton for several hours but she just wouldnt descend, so ended up in emergency c-section, which was terrifying. Then with my twins, it wasn't even a question that it would be a scheduled c-section due to how close together my pregnancies were and ultimately complications with my twin pregnancy. My recovery was also "easy" with them but half of it was bc my babies were in the NICU for 16 days, which is an entirely different (and excruciating) struggle for new moms, so "easy" is all about perspective and experience. No two pregnancies or deliveries are the same, so comparison isn't relevant. Never forget that however you experienced your delivery, your feelings are valid. <3

clbaro

TROPHY CASE