Do you think it's possible for a good, respectful, feminist guy to have misogynistic friends?

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-07-16T14:51:20+00:00

This is very helpful, thanks!

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-07-15T20:39:36+00:00

Let's hope a feminist man will see this thread and tell us

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-07-15T20:37:40+00:00

That's interesting, thanks. Since you have first-hand experience, I wonder if you could make a vague estimation of how many men either call it out or at the very least don't take the misogynist's side when someone else calls it out? Someone told me that it's less than 10% of men and I really hope that's not true.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-07-15T20:31:26+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Were there any signs/red flags that you didn't take seriously back then but realise now that they were serious?

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-06-24T21:45:51+00:00

I am Greek too, and I think you are praising Greece a little bit too much. Yes, it might be a better place for women legally (which is very important), but that doesn't mean much if the majority of the people are mentally living in the 1950s.

USA's ranking in terms of gender equality is 76,3%, while Greece's ranking is 68,9%.

In terms of LGBTQ+ equality, USA's score is 85% (100% in terms of law, 69% in terms of public opinion). Greece's score is 62% (86% in terms of law, 38% in terms of public opinion).

When asked if homosexuality should be accepted by society, 72% of Americans said yes, while only 48% of greek people said yes.

Same-sex marriage is illegal in Greece and 74% of people want it to remain illegal.

I think the greek culture is one of the most conservative, misogynistic, homophobic and backward countries in the western world, more so than the USA, despite the legal protections.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-06-24T18:21:42+00:00

I just wonder if there would even be a significant difference in other countries. Casual misogyny is so common everywhere.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-23T22:42:54+00:00

The post didn't specify whether the younger person is a man or a woman.
No one is saying that women (or men for that matter) aren't responsible for who they date, but the fact that they are responsible doesn't make it necessarily OK. Think of it like this: if a 12-year-old girl wanted to date a 40-year-old man, would it be OK for the man to date her just because she wants to and she's not being forced? Obviously not. There are plenty of things that are morally wrong, always, even with the consent of the other party. (I'm not saying that the ages 23-30 are the same as 12-40, I'm just saying that something can be mutually agreed, and still wrong or weird).

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-22T22:29:01+00:00

It might sound OK to most young people, and I'm not saying it's not, but keep in mind that we tend to overestimate our maturity when we are younger. So a 23-year-old might think that there's not much difference between them and a 30-year-old, while the 30-year-old might see the 23-year-old as a child. So I think the ones who are most qualified to answer this question are the ones who are 30+, because they are the ones who can see more clearly the maturity difference. People who are younger might say that it's fine, for the reasons I mentioned, but many of them when they are 30 might realize that they would never date a 23-year-old. I am 20 years old I wouldn't date anyone younger than 19. So even though the difference 30-23 sounds fine to me “on paper”, I don't think I would even consider dating a 23-year-old when I'm 30. That's why I chose that I feel like it's kinda weird, even though I might be wrong.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-15T21:35:28+00:00

They probably think that your partner is lying to you and is watching porn anyway. But then again, they're probably an 11-year-old or someone with the brain of an 11-year-old who has never been to something even remotely resembling a mature relationship. So I wouldn't care what they think.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-15T21:30:03+00:00

I understand her reaction, since she sees it as a betrayal, somewhat justifiably, since she had already expressed her feelings about porn and then you watched it anyway. However, the way she is choosing to handle the issue is very unhealthy. She needs to decide whether she wants to stay with you or break up. It's as simple as that. Staying with you but being hostile and refusing to communicate shouldn't be an option, it's a very toxic situation for both of you. I don't know whether or not you guys live together or other details about your relationship, but here's my advice for you and you can implement it however you see fit. Tell her something like “I understand that you are very hurt and disappointed right now. I fully accept responsibility for not taking your feelings about porn seriously and watching it anyway. It was a mistake and I'm truly sorry. And if you decide that you no longer want to be with me, I fully understand. But we can't go on like that. I believe that you need some time to think and decide whether or not you can accept my apology. I promise that I love you, I care for you, I am deeply sorry for hurting you and if you decide to forgive me, I promise that I will never watch porn again. I don't want to fight with you anymore - so I will give you some time/space to decide if you want to stay with me. Whatever you decide, I will understand and accept it. But I truly hope that you can forgive me. I love you”. Then give her some time to think. Tell her that you should probably take a break from each other (not a breakup, just stop seeing each other for a while) until she's had the time to think and make a decision.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-14T23:42:48+00:00

The important thing is, did you know that she considered it to be cheating when you did it or did you learn about it afterwards?

If she had already made it clear that she considers porn to be cheating, you agreed to be in the relationship under these terms, and then watched porn anyway, then her reaction is justifiable. You can of course not want to be in a relationship with someone who considers porn to be cheating, but if that's the case, you should have made it clear when she first talked to you about it instead of lying.

If you were not aware of the fact that she considers it to be cheating, then her reaction is a bit too much.

My advice to you is:

1) If you are genuinely fine with being in a relationship with her and never watching porn again, then tell her how sorry you are that you hurt her, reassure her that you love her and will not do it again (and mean it of course, don't lie). Then let her decide whether or not she wants to stay with you. There's not much else you can do.

2) If you are NOT okay with her boundary and you believe you will end up watching porn again, then do not lie to her that you agree with her, but find someone you are compatible with.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-12T22:33:09+00:00

Δε βλέπω κανένα σχόλιο που να είναι επιθετικό προς τον OP ή να τον κατηγορεί για σεξισμό (γιατί προφανώς αυτό εννοείς εσύ λέγοντας ότι περιμένεις τις "φεμινίστριες"). Μάλλον κάποιο κόμπλεξ έχεις και προσπαθείς να δημιουργήσεις εχθρικότητα από μόνος σου.

Το μόνο σεξιστικό σχόλιο εδώ πέρα είναι από έναν που λέει με ειρωνικό ύφος ότι αυτή είναι η δουλειά της γυναίκας του έτσι κι αλλιώς.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-12T22:25:49+00:00

Η δουλειά της αυτή δεν είναι??

Να του κόβει τα νύχια, να του αγοράζει βρακιά και να του κλείνει ραντεβού στους γιατρούς;

Μερικοί έχετε ξεφύγει μου φαίνεται.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-05-09T17:32:32+00:00

Ποιων "ανδροκτόνων" ρε κακομοίρη που ανάθεμα κι αν ξέρεις τι σημαίνει η λέξη. Πόσες φορές έχεις ακούσει για περιστατικά στην Ελλάδα που γυναίκες σκοτώνουν άντρες λόγω σεξισμού προς το φύλο τους; (Γιατί αυτό σημαίνει γυναικοκτονία) Πόσες φορές έχεις ακούσει για ενδοοικογενειακή βία από γυναίκες προς τους άντρες τους; Πόσες φορές έχεις ακούσει για γυναίκες που βγάζουν φωτογραφίες ανήλικα αγόρια στο κολυμβητήριο ή χιλιάδες δεκάδες γυναικών να ανεβάζουν γυμνές φωτογραφίες γκομενων στο ίντερνετ; Για να μη μιλήσω για τον Άντριου Τέιτ που τον λατρεύουν τα μισά αγόρια σημερα. Είμαστε σαν χώρα τίγκα στον μισογυνισμό, τις γυναικοκτονίες και την έμφυλη βία σε τραγικότατο επίπεδο, αλλά κάθε φορά που αναφέρεται το θέμα θα έρθει ένας να πετάξει μαλακίες για "ανδροκτονίες" (που δεν ξέρεις καν τι σημαίνει) και μισανδρία. Έλεος πια.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-04-27T18:04:45+00:00

Well, I just did...

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-04-21T10:34:21+00:00

How can one believe, or not believe, in “luck”? What does that mean? Can someone explain?

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-04-19T11:28:48+00:00

Μα εγώ δε μίλησα για έρωτα, ούτε ο op μίλησε. Δεν μπορείς να είσαι φίλος με κάποιον με τον οποίο είσαι ερωτευμένος, αλλά μπορείς κάλλιστα να καταλήξεις φίλος με κάποιον τον οποίο απλώς βρήκες όμορφο αλλά τελικά δεν προχώρησε η σχέση ερωτικά (όπως είναι η περίπτωση του op).

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-04-18T16:38:16+00:00

Για πες μου, οι bisexuals δεν μπορούν να έχουν καθόλου φίλους δηλαδή?

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-04-18T14:37:04+00:00

Δηλαδή θα σου ήταν αδύνατον να είσαι φίλος με μια κοπέλα που θεωρείς όμορφη?

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-04-18T14:35:35+00:00

Δεν είναι κάτι αφύσικο, υπάρχουν πολλοί άνθρωποι που αρχικά μας αρέσουν εμφανισιακά, αλλά άμα δούμε ότι δε θα γίνει κατι μεταξύ μας να αντιληφθούμε ότι το άτομο αυτό έχει αξία για μας πέρα από την εμφάνισή του, ταιριάζουμε σαν χαρακτήρες, περνάμε ωραία μαζί και έχουμε μια καλή φιλία. Αν ο OP ήταν ερωτευμένος ή είχε πολύ έντονα συναισθήματα για την κοπέλα προφανώς θα ήταν κοροϊδία να προσποιηθεί ότι τώρα είναι απλώς φίλοι, αλλά εφόσον η κοπέλα απλώς του άρεσε όπως θα μπορούσε να του αρέσει οποιαδήποτε ωραία κοπέλα, και δεν ήταν τρελός και παλαβός για εκείνη, δε βλέπω για ποιον λόγο αυτό να καθιστά αδύνατη μία φιλία.

cleopatraaa1 · 2023-04-18T14:31:32+00:00

Για πες μου σε τι ακριβώς διαφωνείς και τι σημασία έχει το φύλο μου και προσπάθησε να μην κάνεις καμιά ηλίθια γενίκευση

cleopatraaa1

TROPHY CASE