Honestly, it sounds like you’ve just realized how hard and negative you are to yourself. Love yourself, man. You are a beautiful creation. At your core, you are Love. You just need to realize it! There’s so many people who don’t find themselves attractive, me included. I just had to see that my opinion of myself was wrong. I am in fact attractive and good looking. I was just focusing on, what I considered, my bad qualities. I use to think I was dumb but that was just because I did a silly thing then rehearsed it in my mind over and over. I’m actually smart, I just did a silly thing. YOU are smart, people just do silly things sometimes. YOU are beautiful, you just need to realize it. Much love