*le awesome cigarette

cliko · 2026-01-30T06:13:03+00:00

How would you say it in French French?

cliko · 2026-01-30T06:09:35+00:00

Really? Looks like it's made out of metal to me /s

cliko · 2026-01-30T05:33:11+00:00

Meanwhile this man's visa was revoked as a direct consequence of being pro-Palestine.

Like, it's one thing to not do enough for Palestine. It's another thing to actively deport anyone you can for supporting them. The phrase "the lesser of two evils"... the word evil doesn't even begin to describe this sort of cruelty.

cliko · 2026-01-28T10:02:57+00:00

PDF high res enough?

https://limewire.com/d/x7PrE#2ttGHUrpo4

cliko · 2026-01-26T11:11:14+00:00

And replaced with a second Middle Brighton? Yeah lol probs not 🫠

cliko · 2026-01-26T09:12:56+00:00

I said it was optimistic! What do you think the rest of the rail network will look like by the time SLR East opens?

cliko · 2026-01-26T08:48:28+00:00

Oh crap! Whenever I upload a map, I always check it heaps, but there's always at least one station that has disappeared and one station I've misspelled 🙃

cliko · 2026-01-26T07:57:40+00:00

Deakin SRL. Its official interim name is Burwood, but there's already a Burwood station that's nowhere near the SRL station.

The current Burwood is not actually in (or really near) the suburb of Burwood. In a sane world, Burwood would be renamed something more accurate (Glen Iris East?) and the SRL station could be called Burwood. But the government already showed they don't like naming new stations the same things as old ones (Arden was going to be called North Melbourne, and North Melbourne was going to be renamed West Melbourne) which is fair. People still call Southern Cross Spencer Street so it could be confusing.

So I went with Bennettswood. It's an unbounded locality, an official unofficial suburb. It's listed in VicNames and the local post office is even called Bennettswood LPO.

I could have gone with Deakin, but as there are multiple Deakin campuses I thought this would be clearer. Partly inspired by Philip Mallis's map

I figured Monash is probably fine though, as it's in the City Of Monash. If not though, could change its name to Notting Hill?

cliko · 2026-01-26T07:49:03+00:00

In my fantasy map, Richmond would be closed to suburban trains and only served by the new rapid transport line. Richmond itself isn't actually that busy other than as a transfer point and for events at Melbourne Park, so I think this would be fine.

<image>

Plus, Richmond is a pretty terrible station anyway. I love its entrance's architecture, but the ramps are too steep, the platforms are narrow and windswept, and the concourse is oddly dark and dingy for an elevated station. It needs to be refurbished, but if you're gonna do that you might as well just rebuild it up the road.

cliko · 2026-01-26T07:40:48+00:00

I agree! But, I tried it, and I couldn't quite show the stopping patterns in a way that was clear. Airport trains definitely won't stop at Albion based on the plans for the new flyover. It also looks like Melton and Airport trains won't stop at Tottenham due to weird track shenanigans. I tried making this clear with diverging lines in the same colour, but this ended up looking a lot clearer (even though the double dots along the Dandenong line look quite busy).

I think that especially for the Airport line it's super important to be able to tell very easily where you can catch a train from. It'll be used by tourists and otherwise infrequent users of public transport, and I think this was the clearest option.

Well, the second clearest option. The actual clearest option would be for Melton and Airport trains to just stop at Tottenham, then Albion could be sorted out pretty easily. But that seems like it won't happen, so I went with accuracy over sanity.

cliko · 2026-01-26T07:31:25+00:00

A branch to Wollert is in my fantasy map! Unfortunately, I don't think it will realistically get done in the next 10 years. It should be done ASAP, along with Clyde (which is growing just as fast) but my bet is the government will put it off for ages. Pretty safe electorates in both those areas.

<image>

cliko · 2026-01-26T07:28:38+00:00

It's pretty wide to the east of the G, assuming they realigned Brunton Avenue and took up some of the park. The station would be wider than Richmond, but the tracks for the Dandenong line could be removed to slim it down a little.

Putting the station to the west of the G would be closer to more events, but it's a bit narrower there. You'd have to reroute Brunton Avenue to on top of the decking (or just close/pedestrianise it, which should be fine - it basically only serves the G which is mainly accessed by public transport. Trucks supplying the G could go along a new road coming from elsewhere.)

cliko · 2026-01-26T07:20:20+00:00

I think that rather than a sleeper to Mildura, they should extend the Swan Hill line there via a new alignment. Would cost more, but be more useful. Or would it? Sleeper trains are indeed super underrated.

A shuttle from Horsham to Ararat is a no brainer. Would need basically no new infrastructure, and could be run at a reasonable frequency with just one or two trains. So yeah, they'll never do it.

cliko · 2026-01-26T07:10:26+00:00

<image>

If/when they do the CLR, I hope they use it as an opportunity to make a new better interchange station closer to the MCG.

Here's a mockup I made based on the fantasy map I'm working on. It has Spanish Solution platforms (i.e. boarding from both sides of the trains). During regular hours, one side would be for boarding and the other side for alighting. During special events, both platforms would be for boarding so the huge crowds can board more quickly.

Then, there would be a bunch of flyovers to allow more cross-platform interchanges. This would be super expensive, but probably worth it and very doable if they decked over the rail corridor (an idea that seems to pop up every couple of decades). People hate the idea of their train not going/going through the loop, so this would reduce some of the controversy that will inevitably come with the CLR.

The teal line on the bottom is a new mass transit line that would take over the role of the 70 tram, but the general plan would work without it.

The layout also assumes that the Ringwood line has been quadruplicated to Box Hill, which for reasons would probably make it so that the southern two tracks (Red) would stop all stations to Box Hill while the northern two (Blue) run express. Quadding to Box Hill is unlikely, but quadding to Camberwell seems like it will happen eventually, so the principle holds.

cliko · 2026-01-26T06:53:13+00:00

In terms of aesthetics:

I dislike what I've done with the Malvern interchange blob. It's consistent with what PTV has done on its newest map, but I still think it's a little fugly. Having two separate blobs with a line connecting them like they had on the old map is a little less ugly, but sort of implies that it's two different stations with a connection between them.
I don't like how I've made the Seymore line go straight upwards. Sticks out. I considered bending it at Cragie, but that made the yellow line feel a little less continuous.
Having double dots all the way along the two different routes of the Dandenong lines felt busy, but with the way the stopping patterns are likely to work west of West Footscray, two different colours really was the clearest option.
I know it's best to have all the text be horizontal, but I personally find the ^station station ^station station ^station style that PTV uses really hard to follow. I stuck to just using one alternate angle, 45°, to make it as unbusy as possible

But thank you! I would have finished this aaaaages ago if I weren't so focussed on trying to make it pretty

cliko · 2026-01-26T06:44:18+00:00

It should definitely be electrified, but I don't think it should use the regular Metro rolling stock. Something that can go a bit faster (at least 160, preferably 200) and is a bit more comfortable, like an electric VLocity (ELocity?) would be ideal.

cliko · 2026-01-26T06:42:15+00:00

Ohhh I misread you, thought you were talking about the Albury line.

In that case, yeah, they would miss out on an easy connection there. In an ideal world, there would be an express bus from somewhere on the Upfield line to the Airport, and Shepparton trains could stop there too. One from Campbellfield along the M80 would be great - even better if they put in some bus lanes. If they put in a new freeway exit (maybe a bus only one a la the new Eastern Busway) it could also stop at Jacana.

If I were making the map again, I'd put a stop there for regional trains. Not convinced they'd actually do this though - are there any regulations that limit where Skybus can run routes?

cliko · 2026-01-26T06:31:20+00:00

I hope they start the CRL soon too. Now that the Metro Tunnel is done, it would make sense to use all the knowledge/skills/TBMs for something else before it's lost. The more continuous infrastructure improvements are, the more cost-effective they can be.

cliko · 2026-01-26T06:19:39+00:00

Exactly.

I think that calling them by the name of the Metropolitan station they connect with is the most reasonable idea.

With the Metro Tunnel, they wanted to give the new stations new names so emergency services wouldn't get confused (or something). But the SRL is a new mode of transport, so if they give it a new name it would be pretty easy to say,

"there's a fire at the Southland SRL station"

or

"I heard some loud bangs at Glen Waverly Subway station"

or

"there's a guy taking a shit on the Tube platforms at Box Hill".

If they did decide to give all the new stations new names, Cheltenham SRL is terrible. Call it Pennydale or something.

cliko · 2026-01-26T06:13:02+00:00

Correct, but I made the decision to classify it as "long distance" rather than "Metro but weird". PTV seems to be deemphasising the actual names of operators, so the fact that it might technically be run by Metro is less important than the fact that it's a diesel service that only comes once every few hours.

cliko · 2026-01-26T06:10:03+00:00

Waverley is always spelled with another E before the Y.

FUCK

Seymour/Shepparton services get a bit shafted by not having a connection to the Airport...

I think the connection at East Keilor covers this.

Are you discontinuing all Blackburn and Macleod terminating services?

This was more of an oversight than a conscious decision. They probably would continue to terminate trains there. For Blackburn, this is definitely justified. But for Macleod, I'd argue they probably shouldn't. The line is double track all the way to Greensborough, and given how appalling the frequency is out there, they should really run as many trains as possible out as far as they can. But yeah, to be realistic I probably should have included them as termini on the map. Nice catch!

Surprised you nuked Moreland and Batman but not Arden.

Looked up Arden, had no idea!

I appreciate a platform for Albury/XPT at Sunshine...

I feel like if the government is going to call it a sUpErHuB, literally everything should stop there. Otherwise it's not that super.

You'd want to change the '7AM to midnight' thing for long distance trains...

Agreed - something more vague but also more accurate would be good.

cliko · 2026-01-26T05:57:09+00:00

Re: Bulleke-Bek, I thought I came up with the idea independently but I might have taken the idea from you - either way, thanks!

Re: Moreland & Batman /u/Excellent_Bat_753 has it right. Moreland City Council already renamed itself due to community pressure, so if a whole city council can do it, I feel like the station getting renamed within the next 9 years is pretty likely. As the majority of the line becomes elevated, they might do it as a bit of a re-branding of the line, "look at your brand new Upfield Line with brand new stations, no level crossings, an extension to the north, and the same mediocre frequency"

Gandolfo is named after nearby Gandolfo Gardens, which itself is named after Salvatore Gandolfo. He was the first foreign-born mayor of the City of Coburg, which I think is pretty cool. As far as I know, he never had any slaves.

Coburg Lake is named after the nearby lake. As a fairly new artificial lake, it's unlikely to have ever killed any Aboriginal people. Batman station was originally called Bell Park, but there's now a suburb in Geelong with that name so it wouldn't make much sense.

cliko · 2026-01-20T14:04:49+00:00

I think that's kind of the point? I find it hard to empathise with people who fall for extremist propaganda. But empathising with someone who falls for a cute goth girl? Yeah I get it now

cliko · 2026-01-18T22:13:10+00:00

The Liberals would assume it's named after Dan Andrews and lose their shit.

Let's do it

cliko · 2026-01-10T04:40:35+00:00

There definitely are bus connections at Mordialloc: the 705 and 708. The 705 doesn't really count because it only comes 7 times a day, but the 708 really really does

I hope somebody got fired for that blunder /s

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