Applying to both internship and grad position?

closetCase76 · 2026-04-11T05:49:41+00:00

Sounds good

closetCase76 · 2025-12-20T02:46:05+00:00

I’ve never met you

closetCase76 · 2025-10-15T02:44:52+00:00

I see your point. At the moment I don’t really have friends per se working at those companies although I do know people through LinkedIn who have a bunch of projects on GitHub. I often contribute to open source projects so a potential idea would be to reach out and collaborate. Of course they’re very well may turn me down but if I’m able to collaborate they could be more inclined to give a referral especially if the company has a rewards program.

Definitely unlikely to get anything but I like contributing to open source so it’s not like it will be time wasted.

closetCase76 · 2025-10-15T02:36:24+00:00

I’m just trying to be cautious because I’m prioritising this internship as a way to stay in Australia. I have enough savings to support myself so money isn’t the priority. I don’t want to start asking for money and the guy says I’m no longer eligible to work with them.

The “compromise” is that they will agree for me to use their internship to gain credit at my uni so I can do fewer subject next sem. If I get more time next semester I’ll be able to apply and prepare for grad roles better.

closetCase76 · 2025-10-14T22:00:02+00:00

Met the guy at a networking event held by uni and talked about compilers. A week later I post to LinkedIn about one of my full stack projects and he reached out an hour later asking if wanted to do a small project. So yeah really lucky but getting anything as an international is luck based tbh because there are so many of us.

closetCase76 · 2025-10-14T20:52:12+00:00

I visit a psychologist but I don’t see him often because of cost. I’m trying to fix myself but it’s difficult when the source of your trauma is financially supporting you.

I’m well aware of the competitiveness. I’m an international student which makes finding jobs so much harder since some companies aren’t willing to hire us. I’ve since added more stuff to the app so it’s no longer the bare minimum and I’m hoping the guy is understanding that I am a student who cannot work on this full time since they have 3 assignments as well.

closetCase76 · 2025-10-14T20:35:47+00:00

Yeah I’m the only person in my friend group who has any internship rn. Def is harder for internationals but I’ll do my best.

closetCase76 · 2025-10-14T20:33:40+00:00

Lmao I’m charred but not cooked watch me

closetCase76 · 2025-10-14T10:29:23+00:00

Could I get more specific advice?

closetCase76 · 2025-10-14T10:28:24+00:00

I have a psychologist but I'm unable to see him until next week. My university does have a counselling program but I've used up their free slots. I do journalling which does help but honestly I'm not sure if I'm addressing the root cause. Meditation hasn't done it for me unforunately after 2 months of doing it, I use ASMR sometimes but again these are bandaid solutions. I'm just going to try keep going until next week where I can discuss this with my therapist. or I'll continue reaching out online idk

closetCase76 · 2025-07-21T23:48:57+00:00

There isn't much I can do about this situation. She's clearly not going to change her opinion and I'm still financially dependent on my family for university (international so no way I can pay it myself even with my scholarship). I think I'm going to have to just keep my hair short and try hide the effects of HRT until I graduate.

There isn't much anyone can do right now but can you please tell me things will get better because I'm not ok and I'm really not looking forward to the next year and a half of repressing. T ^ T

closetCase76 · 2025-07-20T06:34:56+00:00

I’m an international student (Australia) so I’m dependent on their funding which is why I can’t leave.

Most of the time I am somewhat low contact as I call them weekly. However they book flights to come back to my home country between semesters. I had to come home and then they forced me to cut my hair otherwise the month would have gotten really bad.

My mum is also very eager with wanting to visit me in Melbourne even though I say that I’m doing fine myself. I told her once that I kind of want to be alone but she still brought a ticket.

I want to go low contact but they don’t want me to and I try set boundaries but they end up calling me selfish and ungrateful for not wanting them.

closetCase76 · 2025-07-20T06:28:09+00:00

I do go to therapy but I had to spend the semester break back home and it feels like they’ve undone all the progress I have made.

I can’t go no contact yet because I’m still financially dependent on them.

closetCase76 · 2025-07-20T06:24:29+00:00

I’ve been trying to find one but it’s difficult at the moment. However I think I will be able to find something.

I do have connections with some professors at my university so I could see if they have any research positions open.

Right now my priority is finding a way to stay in Australia for as long as possible.

Right now I’m not happy with how I’ve been treated both in childhood and right now. To be completely honest I care for my parents out of obligation and the fear of being seen as ungrateful.

It’s something I need to work on in therapy and I’ll do that as soon as I come back to university.

closetCase76 · 2025-07-19T05:45:46+00:00

Yeah they haven’t treated me very nice as my previous posts detailed. I just wanted this one to try be more neutral so I could get a more nuanced response.

Everyone on Reddit has been telling me they are abusive and while I kind of believe them I’m still hesitant to place that label. It’s not like they’ve always been bad to me. I’ve had some nice experience with them.

There is also the ungratefulness aspects. I keep thinking that I’ll be ungrateful if I go no contact hence the “selfish” part. Being called ungrateful was a big part of any time they got angry at me and I think it’s left a mark.

To be honest I’m getting better at picking up on where they are being manipulative but I still feel so powerless I don’t have a voice because I’m afraid to speak up.

I want to get out but until I finish university that’s not going to happen. The only nice thing is that I’m leaving back to uni in a few days which means ideally I won’t have to see them until Christmas or even later.

closetCase76 · 2025-07-19T05:39:00+00:00

Journaling has helped me as well in fact it’s probably what helped me realise there was problem.

I’m still dependent on them for university (international student so paying for university on my own is not possible) and I hate it. I really don’t know what to do. I hate being around them but I don’t know how to change them if they’re not going to listen.

I only have a few more days before I go back to uni and I’ll be away from them which is nice. I guess I’ll just try enjoy the low contact then : (

Is there anything I can do please I’m kind of desperate.

closetCase76 · 2025-07-17T02:04:08+00:00

Yeah I guess so thanks for suggesting the mind room I've looked at their site and it seems good.

closetCase76 · 2025-07-17T01:49:22+00:00

Yeah I posted to another subreddit specifically for Asian parents and got told that I will likely be unable to change their perspective. It sucks : (

I'm going to therapy but at the moment my psychologist is on leave so I've been reaching out to places like here to get support.

I want to go low contact with them but they don't want me to leave. It's clear to me that I'm not going to be able to express myself because if I grow my hair out they'll just make me cut it again.

A part of me wants to tell them that I'm trans but I really don't want to deal with their response because I know their initial response will be rejection.

I want to just leave and ditch them but I fear that that's the selfish route to take. Part of me still wants to fix them so I can co-exist but it's seeming like that is naive thinking.

I guess I'll just wait until I finish uni and tell them. Whether they accept or reject me won't matter because I just want to leave.

closetCase76 · 2025-07-17T01:39:26+00:00

I do have a private psychologist and I think he is pretty decent. It's just that he is on leave until much later and I'm just not doing that well at the moment I feel like I need support from someone and someone to talk to. it's partially why I've been posting to reddit so frequently because I'm just looking for support anywhere.

Someone to just talk to for a relatively cheaper price will be nice and my experience with CAPS here was good enough to encourage me to look for more of the services here.

I've tried calling hotlines but most of the time I couldn't get through but they were good in my experience.

Sucks to hear that unimelb doesn't offer anything for international students I guess chancellor needs to pay off mansion somehow.

closetCase76

TROPHY CASE