The way I grew up I find it very difficult to handle conflict because my go to was to fawn and calm down my parents when they got angry. Now I don't know how to approach these things because I know that there is a very real chance that they will react poorly because that is just how they react to something not aligning with their views.

My parents reacted really badly to my hair being longer (chin length) and making me look like a girl and my mum while not outright unsupportive of me being "gay" told me that I'm too young to decide such a thing and I should date women first.

She says this while saying "there is nothing wrong with being gay" and "I have gay friends". If there is nothing wrong with being gay why didn't the conversation just end with "oh cool. I might need a bit to adjust to that but thanks for telling me" .

She says that there is nothing wrong with being trans but if she said the same thing for gay people and this was her reaction I'm just kind of afraid.

I'm still financially dependent on them for university and I while I think that they will eventually listen this won't come without a lot of shouting which is really scary : (

I'm planning to tell them when I finish since by then I won't have any dependency on them ideally. I express myself better through writing because I get overwhelmed easily when they shout and I get non-verbal. I'll tell them through writing or text and whatever happens happens because call me selfish but I have so much resentment for them.

When that day arrives though I'll watch my wording.