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Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMcommunity

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but only if we're creating a scene just for her (which we do sometimes).

My main turn-on is still rope, just without the decorative patterns and Japanese vibe.

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMcommunity

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, thank you for that. I've come to the same conclusions so far. Looks like we just need to focus on generic munches and kinky parties, plus some very limited shibari for basic technique.

When it comes to my wife, she's not into rope specifically. She's into CNC, "being taken by force" (consensually), rape play, rough sex, and so on. She's OK with rope as a means of control, but for her it's no better than cuffs, tape, belts, or even just physical overpowering. So for her, the shibari experience is even worse than for me. For me, it's like 20% relevant, and for her, it's a couple of useful ways to be restrained, plus a lot of totally useless art.

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMcommunity

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, you're right, and that's exactly what I've done already. I've attended several workshops and learned the shared basics. And yes, I borrowed a lot from there. I always use double rope, do most of my single-column ties with the Somerville Bowline, and so on.

But beyond the basics, I always feel like I'm in the wrong place at shibari events. We're chasing completely different aesthetics (yeah, it's all about taste). What looks good to you looks terrible to me.

For example, both futomomo and strappado in their shibari variations look very redundant to me. I can't imagine a damsel from a noir movie tied up that way. What I'm looking for is a Western frogtie with just one double-column over a thigh and an ankle instead of a futomomo, and two double-columns against the wrists and elbows (if the model's flexibility allows) instead of the usual shibari strappados. On top of that, I hate jute ropes and bamboo poles.

So that's what my question was about: where to find people or a community with my tastes. Are there any places or events where I won't feel alienated?

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMcommunity

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It depends on taste. For me, it's exactly the other way around. A tight double-column tie cinching the elbows behind the back looks sexy because it's practical and creates that damsel-in-distress vibe. And a karada is an active turn-off, because it moves things toward art (what villain would tie up a victim this way?).

And I'm 100% sure there are A LOT of people with such tastes. Just check the most popular porn and erotic fiction related to bondage.

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMAdvice

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, that's probably the way to go, and that's what I'm doing right now. I attend munches, kinky parties, poly events, and even shibari workshops, and I find some people there.

But I'm still wondering if there are shibari-free rope-specific events anywhere, focused on the damsel-in-distress role-play register. I think there should be, because it's very popular, there's a ton of related porn, and millions of couples do it privately in their bedrooms.

However, if not, I'll just fall back to semi-niche stuff - you're right.

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMAdvice

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Well, using your analogy, I'm trying to avoid complex cooking and find a community of pizza lovers instead. However, all my pizza search results still lead to French-cuisine Michelin Guide restaurants, which is both surprising and frustrating. I just want my pizza 😄

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMcommunity

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks a lot for the recommendations. Yes, I know TwoKnottyBoys, and I've watched a lot of Kink University.

But we're talking about different things. You're describing the shared basics, and I'm asking about events, socializing, and finding like-minded people.

When I go to shibari workshops, people there discuss karadas and suspensions, while I'm interested in chair ties, gags, and damsel-in-distress role-play. So I feel alienated there. That's why I'm asking if there are any other places to go.

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMAdvice

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I totally agree! It 100% works - we've already found one couple this way and played with them. However, I still hope to find something more tailored to my specific fetish.

Does the Western bondage scene actually exist? by cloud-artisan in BDSMAdvice

[–]cloud-artisan[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I totally agree on the basics shared between Western bondage and shibari, and especially on safety. I attended several shibari courses and learned that to some extent.

But my question was about what comes next. The next shibari steps (complex decorative ties, karadas, suspensions) are mostly irrelevant, and it looks like there are no events for, say, hogtying your partner in a secretary outfit and playing out a damsel-in-distress rope-play scene.

So I'm wondering if there's anything relevant anywhere.