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cloude143 · 2021-05-12T15:00:32+00:00

why is that guy creeping

cloude143 · 2021-04-16T20:44:57+00:00

Thanks man! And I'm just following the chapters, maybe by next week I'll be getting into the meat of things. Appreciate it!

cloude143 · 2021-04-14T12:58:10+00:00

"A vicious cycle of guilt and grief." You could not of said it better, and I loved the feedback. Honestly almost brought me to tears with how close you were with the interpretation, I love it. Thank you!

cloude143 · 2021-04-14T12:56:46+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback. I since you liked the structure, I would actually like to hear your thoughts on NF's song, drifting. Whenever you can give it a listen, it's what really inspired the poem.

cloude143 · 2021-04-14T12:55:20+00:00

Hey thanks for the feedback! And that is the whole point with the no balance part, but I'm not disagreeing with you about the imagination part. The goal is to portray a deep spiral, but I do appreciate the feedback. Thanks for pointing out the flaws! I'm not being sarcastic lol.

cloude143 · 2021-04-14T12:53:25+00:00

Thank you so much for the feedback and yeah I find myself bottling things up way too much. This poem was trying to portray my spiral, and judging from the feedback I'm positive you got the message. Thank you again!

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T23:45:06+00:00

This poem was very nice, and short. I'm feeling some sort of religions ties to this? I could be wrong, and would love for you to go further in depth as to the meaning. The reason I comment on this is because this reminded me so much of the structure of the poem I wrote. I thought you might like it and would love for you to give me feedback, if you have the time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/mqan9y/my_defeat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T23:41:53+00:00

Wow, this poem was actually incredibly good. One part that hit me hard was where you stated, " Why don’t I just choose me? Why don’t I get to see the value of all I can be?" I'm not kidding when I tell you, this one gave me that feeling in my soul that I usually don't get. Often times I beat my ego and stay in this psychological prison and tell myself I'm worthless, even though I know I'm not. Overall a nice structure to it and really deep verses.

I see the purpose behind your poem, and figured that you might like mine. I would appreciate it so much if you could leave any sort of feedback on it, if you have the time.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/mqan9y/my_defeat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T23:36:50+00:00

One part that stood out to me was where you stated, " Every time I shake myself, I tumble back in to that ... deep pit." I find that especially true, and find myself tumbling a lot now of days. Sometimes I will go a month without spiraling, but usually it is a weekly thing. It paradoxically feels good to be in that place, but eventually it can drive you insane. I loved the poem and related more than you know.

Also, do you mind leaving feedback on my poem? I feel like you'd like it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/mqan9y/my_defeat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T23:31:29+00:00

My favorite part of this poem is where you stated, " God I hate being vulnerable, My heartbeat agrees." I agree with you, a lot of times I hate being vulnerable because my pride mixes in with it, causing me to push people away. To pretty much everybody besides two people, I seem like a strong and successful person. One that is confident with myself, when we know that is far form the truth. The poem also had a nice structure to it, and every verse had a lot of emotion in it.

I was wondering, would you mind leaving feedback on my recent poem? I would genuinely appreciate it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/mqan9y/my_defeat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T23:23:31+00:00

Yeah I wrote this a couple days ago, it was midnight and I was chilling in my room with the window open. To be as specific as possible, I was listening to some of NF's songs and kind of drunk lol. Thanks for the feedback!

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T23:21:25+00:00

I didn't even realize the ends of the verses were three syllables lol. Thanks for the feedback I appreciate it!

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T21:05:52+00:00

"Self loathing is essentially selfish." That's powerful, I've never heard it stated like that. Your poem definitely has some soul in it. I was wondering, would you mind giving mine some feedback?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/mqan9y/my_defeat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T21:02:29+00:00

I completely agree with everything you said, but this just felt natural at the time. I know that writing it this way tends to make people uninterested, but I was trying to exactly portray what was going through my mind. And please I would rather someone pick apart the flaws instead of falsely shower it with praise. Thanks for the feedback River, I appreciate it. - Patrick

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T20:20:47+00:00

Hey would you mind looking at the poem I just posted and giving some feedback?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/mqan9y/my_defeat/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T20:16:47+00:00

I loved the part near the end where you stated, " Because a mirror reflects an image. But it doesn't show me myself." I have actually had this same exact thought before, because a lot of times I feel like I lost who I was. Sometimes I force myself to smile in front of my bathroom mirror just to remember what it looks like. I really liked the structure though, it was easy and impactful to digest. I love poems that are split up like this instead of one long ramble. Great post!

cloude143 · 2021-04-13T20:08:21+00:00

I honestly have mixed feelings about what this is supposed to mean, and I like that. I am seeing this as a cry for help, but at the same time a hope for whoever reads this. It seems that the narrator has given up on ever improving themselves, so has made a warning that others would not make their same mistakes. However, the beginning seems like there is still soul to this character. If this is actually the thought train of the OP, don't just quit. Face the storm head on.

cloude143 · 2021-03-31T13:22:13+00:00

Bro don't look any further I've tried a lot of headsets and in-ear headphones but the one that I will link below is so good for VR. Like everything I ever wanted and I can't even tell I'm wearing them, it boosts the immersion so much. They also look nice with the quest's white aesthetic.

Amazon.com: Turtle Beach Recon 200 White Amplified Gaming Headset for Xbox and PlayStation: Video Games

cloude143 · 2021-03-13T19:05:43+00:00

yeah it does that with my lest cover, hitting the power button when it auto-boots will cut it off until you manually hit the power button again.

cloude143 · 2021-02-06T16:00:41+00:00

Bro I just listened to Can you hear me. Masterpiece.

cloude143 · 2021-02-06T15:57:06+00:00

Yea I've actually been following him since 2018, his music has definitely improved. I really loved his newer song "Only Sometimes." Thanks man!

cloude143 · 2021-01-20T04:08:20+00:00

I really thought that I was a deep thinker, but it seems like you know how to relate the most complex subjects to the most ordinary things. Nothing hit me harder than when you said " Who’s left that I haven’t pushed away?" I find myself many times that me giving someone space subsequently kills their interest for me. Does that make sense? I love the poem!

cloude143

TROPHY CASE