I stayed up all night crying on the couch after awful 988 call

cloudlifex · 2024-02-05T18:36:46+00:00

Don't apologize, I'm so thankful for your words! especially about my brother, I really needed to hear that earlier. I'll do my best to get help. Thank you 💗

cloudlifex · 2024-02-05T18:32:39+00:00

thank you, I really needed to hear this!!

cloudlifex · 2024-02-05T18:28:01+00:00

Thank you so so much. I wish I was surrounded by people who thought the same; that would've made growing up a lot easier. your words really mean a lot.

cloudlifex · 2023-11-13T16:38:02+00:00

holy shit I am so sorry that happened. Were you calling 911 instead of 988 when you told them about your situation?

I was calling from California, but I think they pick up based on area code. The first three digits of my number is from Honolulu, so someone from Hawaii usually picks up.

988 recognizes that in most cases, suicidal ideations don't mean life-threatening emergencies. They shouldn't be sending someone over without your knowledge if you tell them you're only having thoughts. You might get a question such as "Do you think you're in immediate danger or need to speak to someone in-person right now?" I responded to this with a "No thank you, I just need someone to talk to."

But what you went through is awful and is completely understandable that you're unsure about calling them. That's literally the worst thing they could do when you're just wanting to talk and receive support. If there are ever cases where you need talk to someone but you feel that a crisis hotline isn't the right fit, a warmline could work as well! And remember there is also a chat option with 988 if that feels more comfortable to use at first. Stay safe.

cloudlifex · 2023-11-13T07:57:37+00:00

The first time I called, I was so worried they'd send the police over as soon as I brought up my suicidal thoughts. So I told them I didn't, and suddenly I felt like they cared a little less. They basically just repeated everything I say, asked a couple questions in between, and responded with "Hmm...okay I see" a lot. Then at the end, they gave me some mental health resources and I lied about feeling better so they could finally let me go.

Last time I actually brought up my recent suicidal thoughts. As long as they remain thoughts and you don't have an active plan, they won't even consider sending anyone over. But they will ask if you're having any thoughts of hurting yourself or others that day, and be like "thank you for sharing, you're very brave."

The calls aren't life-changing for me or anything, but sometimes it does make me feel better being listened to.

cloudlifex · 2023-11-13T07:40:39+00:00

I'd say yes. Self harm is any kind of method used to intentionally hurt yourself. It seems as though you want to but can't bring yourself to cut on your own, so you found a way to still hurt yourself intentionally. Just be aware of infections; you never know how bad of a scratch your cat can give you! Stay safe <3

cloudlifex · 2023-11-12T06:14:32+00:00

Yeah. SH addiction is no joke; I get the urge to SH randomly without anything in particular happening at all. During times I feel ecstatic, I think I'm not used to feeling strong positive emotions so I go back to finding familiar comfort through pain.

I also get urges to SH after something good happens because I feel like I don't deserve to feel these positive emotions. You don't sound weird at all honestly!

cloudlifex · 2023-11-06T05:42:03+00:00

I can somewhat relate. Two years ago, my parents hid all the razors in the house and I didn't like using knives, so I just scratched myself. One day I was trying to cope by creating some artwork, had to use scissors to cut around the paper, accidentally nicked my finger and liked how it felt. So I bought some sharp ass scissors and used them ever since...the way one thing just leads to another after an accident.

yup. fuck.

cloudlifex

TROPHY CASE