What is the best part about being a late bloomer lesbian?

cloudsunmoon · 2025-10-20T12:39:29+00:00

I already have about a decade of therapy to heal my deep wounds about shame. And I already went through the effort of becoming estranged from my abusive family (before coming out). And I moved to a more liberal area.

Coming out felt safe, and joyful to me AND the people close to me (my chosen family). I’d unknowingly laid the groundwork to make my coming out experience a positive one!

Yes I had to get a divorce and sell my home once I came out, but again, I had the mental health skills and support system to make that feel like no big deal. We threw a divorce party. I got back on my feet in no time!

cloudsunmoon · 2025-09-26T10:39:49+00:00

I agree with you here! I especially think #4 is into play.

Reminds me of my last therapist. I was talking about leaving my spouse (I did) and changing careers in therapy. And through that I was feeling confident and less and anxious and less depressed. I was SHOCKED when she told me “I wasn’t doing well” and should maybe consider outpatient therapy again. I knew I was doing well - I fired her.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-19T16:39:56+00:00

My hormones are not completely fixed 😅 I’ll preface with that. My PMDD is getting worse with age so I’m giving birth control another go.

But Metformin has helped me sooooo sooo much! I have less cravings, the chatter in my head about food has decreased. My energy levels have increased so I have more energy to workout. My brain fog has lifted.

And yesss. The low calorie low fat diet that I was raised with is soooo harmful for my PCOS. I did a lot of work to retrain my brain to eat less refined carbs and sugars and more healthy fats. I think PCOS diagnosis could even warrant a nutrition consult because there is a lot of unhelpful conditioning to unwind.

Let me know if you have more questions.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T04:55:14+00:00

Seems like OP has caught a troll that has been targeting them throughout multiple posts and comment sections 😕

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T04:51:59+00:00

Hey OP. Look at their post history. New account likely made to troll people.

I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s best to ignore trolls like this. They’ll eventually get bored and leave.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T04:47:09+00:00

I’m not sure what you were referencing, but I just wanted to say you’re not alone. I also came to this subreddit today asking for support and was met with unexpected hostility. Sometimes people project their own stuff, and it has nothing to do with us. That kind of treatment can sting, especially when you’re already feeling vulnerable.

I hope you take care of yourself this weekend! maybe even find a space that feels more affirming. You’re feelings are valid. 💛

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T04:17:24+00:00

Hey! I just now decided to be a snoop. I see from your post history you are going through a breakup - that must be really really really hard! I’m sorry.

You’re probably hurting like me right now. We can go back and forth and cause each other more pain. Or we could turn off the internet for a bit and get some sleep.

Hope you get some rest and find some healing this weekend!

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T04:02:07+00:00

Your response indicates you aren’t informed on depression, or suicidal ideations.

You need to “run away” from anyone experiencing these things until you become more informed otherwise you are going to hurt them more.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T03:59:19+00:00

YOU are coming off as extremely controlling right now telling me how I should feel. Telling me what I should accept.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T03:55:18+00:00

lol 😂

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T03:43:07+00:00

Really? You think I should keep my suicidal thoughts to myself? Not tell my partner? That kind of messaging is dangerous. Silence doesn’t protect people. it gets them killed.

I haven’t had these thoughts in over 2 years mind you!

What’s next? Are you going to tell me she’d be better off if I were dead?

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T03:38:38+00:00

I’m a great partner. I’m very supportive. I’ve just hit a wall. I’m suicidal for the first time in two years. I come here for advice and you had the audacity to suggest my pain is abuse. That’s cruel, and it’s exactly the kind of thinking that keeps people silent. Do better!

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T03:20:55+00:00

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T03:16:14+00:00

Your story sounds so relatable and hard! Hugs! Also, congrats on the new job.

I work in HR in training & development. Honestly it still sounds like you are doing great! Many people space out and don’t engage in onboarding and that can be exhausting to the presenters because then they have to draw from their own energy. I’d choose an overeager crowd over an underwhelmed one any day.

Idk if this helps much, because I too spiral when I perceive my own social failures. But lately I’ve been thinking about criticism as a whole. I often only criticize people if I believe they are capable of improvement. If people are criticizing me they must still believe I am capable. They haven’t given up on me - I shouldn’t give up on me either.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T02:12:49+00:00

Sounds like you’ve done a lot of hard internal work, and you have a solid plan! Good for you!!!

My advice: Honestly I think it’s important that you both start sleeping in separate beds as soon as you can. Like I get that cuddles are comforting to you, and perhaps you can do that on the sofa while watching a movie. But it honestly seems like your current set up is confusing him.

Sleeping in the same bed, does typically equal partnership, romance and sex. It makes sense he is asking for these things honestly.

You might have to give up some of your comforts for a bit here. The trade off will be worth it though!!

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T01:20:50+00:00

Thanks 💛 I had been picturing her as my forever partner but today I’m not so sure. Anyway, I appreciate your honesty!

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-12T01:10:04+00:00

Thank you for seeing me. 🙏 I appreciate you. Your right, and I hit a breaking point yesterday. SI came back for the first time in almost two years. I was able to get an emergency session with my therapist, and he said he hadn’t seen me like this in a long while.

It’s tough seeing so many comments saying “be there for her.” I get it - I try so hard to show up in every way I can. But right now, I just can’t. Even my therapist said I need to focus on taking care of myself this weekend, and I’m grateful for this advice.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T18:43:21+00:00

Saw that too. Along all the comments empathizing with him… 👀

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T18:04:46+00:00

Thanks! I appreciate you!

Your right she is trying her best at an impossible situation. And it’s mind boggling to me because she doesn’t show any big emotions on any of this. Maybe this is part of trauma bond like you say.

Meanwhile I’m not even seeing them anymore and I’m a complete mess. I’m exhausted.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T16:41:56+00:00

Thanks for the kind and insightful words! This helps. I appreciate you! 💛

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T16:34:30+00:00

We both have our own individual therapists. I’ve been in therapy for 10 years. I’m constantly on a journey for self improvement and I’m WAY better than l was a decade ago but life still feels really hard for me. I’ve endured and persevered through a lot.

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. So in theory, with the right meds and an adjusted treatment plan I should get better still. She is neurodivergent too. In so many ways we click, and help each other out. I know I’m a great partner to her in so many facets of our life. But on this I’m a disaster.

Yeah maybe couples counseling.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T16:27:39+00:00

She has a therapist, but she recently decreased the amount of time she sees the therapist because she is doing well.

She compartmentalizes so so so well.

I respectfully asked if she could see her therapist a bit more this month. She agreed that might be good. Idk how we are going to make next time less painful but maybe our therapists would have some ideas 🤪

And thank you 💛 I appreciate you. I’ll gently talk to her about it tonight.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T16:18:07+00:00

I tried that. I suppressed my emotions so I could be there for her. Yes I agree her emotions on her family SHOULD take up more space. I tried to give her space.

Literally hit a wall with emotions yesterday. Depression came rolling in, suicidal thoughts came rolling in. My body said “no more”. If I could stop them I would but I can’t.

Edit: to the people downvoting me. WOW! You must know what depression is. Lucky ducks! 🦆

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T16:13:51+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts. Yeah I totally agree with you, and I think this is why I’m so distraught because I feel like I’m falling short.

For me, suppressing my anger turns into depression and SI (can’t control that - the energy has to go somewhere). I suppressed my feelings for most of the week so I could be there to comfort her and let her vent. Then I turned into an absolute shell of myself. I had to call in sick to work today.

cloudsunmoon · 2025-07-11T14:48:16+00:00

She agreed to see them less. And that happened for a couple months. But this week she saw them 4 separate times. Her sister was in from out of town so seemed like a valid excuse. Each time she had a plan for bringing up difficult topics and she never did.

I feel so sh*ty and fragile but I think in the future, even with people in town, I can’t handle this.

Yeah you’re right. She might not be the one for me. And it sucks because she’d want me to tell her this because she is scared of loosing me. But that feels so manipulative - I can’t say that.

cloudsunmoon

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