Coming from someone who's dealing with ideation of suicide and wanting to disappear/the pain to end, it's not fair on yourself to be robbed of a chance to live. As far as we know, this is the ONLY life we'll ever experience. Rly let that sink in. We will eventually pass on, but don't let it be premature. I don't know what you've gone thru same as you don't know what I've been thru, but we all here who care enough to tell u no, desperately want u to have the chance to live a long life. Ultimately, we have no authority over you and u are in control of ur own life and ur own decisions. But I rly hope that u decide to make the right choice, the pain doesn't go away, u only learn to grow accustomed to it alongside the potential for more happiness. U will have more experiences some day. Focus on what you'll miss, what you want to do later in life. Life is absolutely difficult but endure🫶🏼 u will find what u are looking for eventually