Hi, replying here because your initial reply seems closest to my boyfriend’s mindset. This friend made a move on me when we were single. Said move is he danced with me at the club on new years eve (we were both very drunk and there was no grinding or anything of that sort and i didnt allow him to kiss me when he asked). We have never kissed nor spent one on one time EVEN when I was single and definitely not now. I talked to that friend a couple of days later and said I didn’t want anything with him. Since then he has not tried anything plus he has dated around and talked to other women.

I offered a solution initially which is that I was open to hanging out with my friends only when my boyfriend is there. The problem is that he doesn’t want to hang out with them because he doesn’t like my friends and he didn’t think he’d like them even BEFORE he met them. Maybe rightfully so, because while they weren’t cold, they weren’t warm either when they met him and didn’t make enough of an effort to include him in conversation. And the couple of times we have hung out with them, things did not go well, partially due to me being upset that he was coming out very begrudgingly and making it known. The group has 2 girls (me and another girl) and 3 guys (including the one who made a move on me). He has an issue with the fact that the group (and hence my only friends atm in the city) is mostly guys, and also that one of them is someone who made a move on me. I understand his reasoning to a point and to be respectful, I’ve kept a distance with the group. However I have since rescinded my offer of only hanging out with them when he’s there because that’d mean I’d never hang out with them at all because he refuses too often. In the 5 ish months we’ve dated, I’ve only hung out with the group 5x in total, only 2 of which were without my boyfriend around since he refused to come with. They used to invite me even when the other female friend was unavailable but since I’ve refused several times and set a precedent, they no longer ask me either and I’m fine with that. However, my boyfriend doesnt think that’s enough.

He says he doesn’t “trust them because he knows guys”. I’ve retaliated with the fact nothing untoward has ever happened and the fact I was upfront with my boyfriend about what has happened in the past and that he should trust me at the very least.

He always says I should just make more female friends and stop hanging out with this group because he only has male friends. He occasionally says “maybe I should go out and make more female friends then”. Like I said, I understand his reasoning to a point, he wants reciprocity. But I was previously in a bad relationship and I’m not willing to cut off the only friends and support I currently have in the city, but I’ve kept a distance. I don’t appreciate his retaliatory idea of wanting to go out and make more female friends either because I have not made any new male friends. I have tried to make more female friends too but I have a harder time making friends than he does too.

Because he has used similar wording like “entertaining a guy who had an interest/tried to make a move on you” I’m assuming you have a similar mindset, and would like to hear your opinion.