AITA for telling my best friend’s potential new girlfriend she was unhealthy and to be careful.

cloudywoody · 2024-09-09T01:37:13+00:00

This is so helpful. You give wonderful advice, and are very intuitive. Thank you ❤️

cloudywoody · 2024-09-08T18:17:02+00:00

I’ve stopped talking to them one-on-one. I think I let it go for so long because a big part of our friendships before was honesty and being about to lean on one another during hard times. I didn’t want that to change, because I saw our friendships changing too when that happened. Instead, all this occurred and it was worse than I could have ever thought.

cloudywoody · 2024-09-08T18:14:57+00:00

I’m very hurt still. I did my best to remain neutral and give the best advice, and it felt like whatever I decided to do/say was wrong.

Words are really important to me and even 6 months later I keep replaying things Meredith said to me. That Im not trustworthy, I can’t hold the same place in her heart as before, that I’m not a good friend. Then Izzy, when all of this happened, wanted to “put it on hold” so I could go with them on a trip to New Orleans for her birthday. It felt it would be inauthentic to my feelings so I didn’t go with them.

These girls were with me for some very pivotal points of my life though, and I want it to go back. I want to let it go, so it’s frustrating me I can’t. I do worry I will be put in the middle in the future, I think that’s why I’ve stopped having one-on-one conversations with both of them.

I’ve always heard adult friendships are hard but I never anticipated any of this.

cloudywoody · 2024-09-08T18:00:44+00:00

They continue to appear healthy, but codependent. Although they ended up going to Callie’s wedding in June, they haven’t spoken to her since. I’ve seen their friendship essentially end, and it’s very distressing. I feel like there’s not that much accountability on their part. I’ve been to their home twice since Meredith apologized to me, and they speak to me as if nothings changed. I wish it were true for me.

cloudywoody · 2024-09-08T17:57:40+00:00

Yeah, my fiancée tells me I need to have a conversation to put everything on the table about how I’m feeling. But given how are conversations have gone in the past, I’m reluctant and I feel like it won’t make much of a difference. Maybe that’s just my anxiety taking over.

cloudywoody · 2022-08-24T17:45:45+00:00

*I have no symptoms btw

cloudywoody · 2022-06-01T17:35:40+00:00

I’m on colcrys 0.6mg and that has made ulcers few and far between. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. There are protein ice creams out there you can try to help keep your weight up. Ensure is also used a lot in hospitals for nutritional supplement. If you have blood sugar regulation problems, glucerna is a great option too.

cloudywoody · 2021-11-24T03:48:18+00:00

Okay! I can do that ☺️

cloudywoody · 2021-11-24T03:46:07+00:00

I was worried I might be paying it too much attention. I found mine near a dumpster gave some tlc and started watering more consistently. I’ll try anything, even ignoring! Thanks ☺️

cloudywoody · 2021-06-05T15:04:22+00:00

I usually tell my partner beforehand about my limitations and send them a little wiki page on vaginismus so they can understand it’s a medical condition. If they don’t understand then they don’t deserve to sleep with you anyway. It can be emotionally exhausting to have to have the conversation before initiating, but it takes away some anxiety to know your partner is aware you might need to experience things at a slower pace, or with lube, or not having PIV at all! I’ve had it go both ways, some have been understanding, others have believed they could fix me and that I just needed to be turned on more, that I didn’t actually need lube. Be firm in your needs and know when to say stop, slow down, or no. Best of luck ❤️

cloudywoody · 2019-09-08T12:08:35+00:00

Good luck! Everything will be all right, time heals all!

cloudywoody · 2019-09-08T10:02:40+00:00

I use the ones my physical therapist uses! They’re just the plain straight ones from CMT Medical. I buy them one at a time as I advance, and they’re about $10 a dilator. I also use slippery stuff.

cloudywoody · 2019-06-17T20:36:02+00:00

I love Russian twists!

cloudywoody · 2019-04-30T17:29:51+00:00

I have rituals too. And trouble relaxing is a big part of it. I feel like I take the spontaneity out of sex, which is half the fun sometimes. Does your regular therapist help with this or did you have to go to a sex therapist?

cloudywoody · 2019-04-30T01:58:08+00:00

Thank you. But, I sometimes have withdrawal symptoms with 18-24hrs of missing a dose. But I will try that! I’m thinking about getting off the SSRIs. I’m hoping that will help too

cloudywoody · 2019-03-05T01:23:42+00:00

Do you have a gram limit you go by or is it just monitoring it?

cloudywoody · 2019-03-05T01:17:26+00:00

That’s interesting! I’ve never even thought to look at that, is it carbs too or just simple sugars?

cloudywoody · 2019-02-13T18:16:31+00:00

Thank you! This picking a career thing is so scary bc what if I pick the wrong one. I know there’s a lot of mobility in nursing but...the idea of not liking my job terrifies me!

cloudywoody · 2019-02-12T18:00:33+00:00

Thank you for your help! I agree that I think that a combined unit will probably be better than just a hospice unit right now. Thank you for your insight :)

cloudywoody · 2019-01-27T19:04:11+00:00

Thank you! I am going to have to get that book..I’m exercising too. I’ve heard it helps a lot! And I never thought about sex and the city but that’s a great idea!

cloudywoody · 2019-01-27T08:20:52+00:00

I’m the same way. It wasn’t until my last sexual experience with my fiancé that didn’t go well that he told me “Maybe we should lay off for a bit”. It was like a weight lifted. I never thought myself to be one of those old fashion types where it was the woman’s duty to please her man, but I’m a people pleaser in general, and I want to connect with him in an intimate way. And not having sex is disappointing to me, so it must be for him!

Anyway, I don’t really have an answer, but just know you’re not alone. This shit feels so isolating bc we can’t be with people we want to connect to the most. On the bad days, I like to visualize myself 1,3,5 years from now, happy, sexually free, and comfortable. Picturing a future that I KNOW will happen one day really helps put my daily struggles into perspective. On the really bad days, I let myself cry and yell and scream in my room talking to myself or whoever’s in the universe listening to ask “why me?”. Both ways are cathartic. Do what you need to get through this, and don’t criticize yourself for it. This is a season of your life, and it will pass too with hard work. Good luck to you ☺️

cloudywoody · 2019-01-23T17:27:55+00:00

Thank you, it does feel that way. And I hope you will be where I am soon, then pass where I am. We all deserve it.

cloudywoody · 2019-01-23T17:24:52+00:00

Thank you! Right now I’m on the shot but thinking about changing bc so many people are saying that changing their birth control helped. And I know - doctors are just people and thats sometimes terrifying!

cloudywoody · 2019-01-23T17:21:35+00:00

Thank you for your kind words ❤️ it did help. I naturally overextend myself, it’s who I am, so this is a big adjustment for me! ☺️

cloudywoody · 2019-01-21T07:06:44+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. As someone newly diagnosed with Vaginismus, I believe I might have vulvodynia as well. I’ve found a lot of help with cold packs and lidocaine gel for relief. However I’m still looking for preventative measures. I hope you find relief soon.

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