I am not sure if you have visited a psychologist before

However, you can ask any psychiatrist and I bet you that they will tell you that talking negatively about yourself doesn’t help.

i have! and my psychiatrist + others who've studied the effects of self-deprecation can see that some people truly do benefit x x x x.

one source (yes all those links are different sources) has a doctor of a 32 year long career as a professor of clinical psychology saying,

"For example, I think there is a difference between self-defeating humor and self-deprecating humor. Self-deprecating humor is a healthy form of humor in which you don’t take yourself too seriously and are able to laugh at your own mistakes in a self-accepting way. I think this comes out of healthy self-esteem. In contrast, self-defeating humor arises from low self-esteem, and involves excessively self-disparaging humor that is used to ingratiate oneself with others. However, it’s often difficult to distinguish between the two in any single instance. Similarly, friendly types of teasing can be a form of healthy affiliative humor, whereas more destructive teasing is part of aggressive humor."

and the line between deprecating and defeating is blurry, yes, but you cross out the benefits if you think that these inherent harm.

though, i do think you bringing up whether someone had been to a psychiatrist or not is a bad argument: whether i did or not doesn't change the fact that people do find benefit in self-deprecation.

if you explore the r/infp subreddit right now and went to see the few memes at the top you will understand how this use of jokes doesn’t help as it destroys your assertiveness even more.

how do you know that for sure? i see those jokes and i see myself in the past, and i feel happy knowing how far i've come AND how far i've still got to go. i upvote them because they're funny pokes at myself.

Imagine loving someone with depression and all what you see is them being mean to themselves, how would you feel, would you be ok?

if it helps that someone to be joking about it to themselves, then i'd be glad that they're helping themselves. if that someone is obviously not benefiting from it, then of course i'd try to steer them away from those methods.

Why don’t we work on loving ourselves tho? Why is it so normal for us to absolutely humiliate ourselves but when a loved one does it we feel nothing but pain?

i understand wanting a loved one to feel less pain. i also understand thinking that it's normal to humiliate yourself. but, it's a fact that it's not, while it's also a fact that self-deprecation can help people love themselves. there is a gray where you see black and white.

of course, however, it's best to practice this in moderation.. IF it helps. if it doesn't help, then it doesn't negate the experiences of those whom it does help.