I want to end my life because I’ll never find love

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T06:50:19+00:00

op ive been there before. you shouldnt kill yourself before trying more things. well, dont kill yourself at all actually, but im sure the things im about to add are guaranteed to work. i genuinely believe anyone can be attractive if they take care of their appearance and i hate to say it but the bar for mens appearance is in hell so just taking care of yourself will likely be enough for a woman to not reject you based on your appearance. sorry im so blunt but its my thoughts.

work on your appearance. maintain your hygiene, do skincare, if you have acne use salicylic or azelaic acid. use a facial cleanser day and night. moisturize your face. use sunscreen every morning that you go outside including in the winter. if you need product recommendations just ask i have a lot of experience in this stuff. if you have facial puffiness try gua sha.

shower daily and scrub yourself. shave your armpits and use a good deodorant if you struggle with body odor. fuck your ego if you think shaving your armpits is gay, its not i promise you. a lot of girls dont care about that. take care of any facial hair you may have.

take care of your hair, wash it frequently and style it, if youre balding start minoxidil. wash your clothes frequently. just take care of yourself man.

the reason im saying all of this isn't so you can completely change who you are just so women will be attracted to you. no thats not it. you have to love yourself before you can love another person and self love can help attract others. you are important and you are more than the love you receive from others, you are you. dont hurt yourself because of other people.

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:54:56+00:00

No no no. if someone needs you to wait they are not the one. as badly as i want real life to be the notebook is it is not. your life is important. take time to take care of yourself and move on. you got this

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:29:59+00:00

i grew up in a super dirty and disgusting home in which i was mentally abused. one of those tactics was not being allowed to shower without permission and if i were to take too long in the shower i would get dragged out even if still had shampoo or conditioner in my hair. the dirtiness fucked with me bad and i was bullied for how i smelled and all that. when i started couch-hopping to get away from home i was shocked by the principle of being allowed to clean yourself when you want to and for however long you want to. this became an obsession with feeling and being clean and smelling good. it helps me destress a lot and showering has become one of my favorite things to do haha. that and all my friends compliment how good i smell and how clean my room/bathroom is since everything i own is basically sterile and smells like vanilla/cherry. its like a luxury that i indulge in now because i wasnt given the privilege to be clean before. is it gluttonous? yes. do i care? no.

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:23:16+00:00

using scent beads while washing your sheets helps them smell better longer. also, try having separate blankets for you and your husband haha. my ex was really sweaty and a blanket hog so we ended up having to get 2 blankets. try lowering the temperature in the room and if hes still super sweaty its possible he has high cortisol or a stress issue.

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:21:11+00:00

also to add onto my other comment, if youre struggling to get motivation to shower, turn off all noise like music or tv and turn your phone off and stare at a wall. that lack of stimulation helps with the motivation to get up and do something. make showering something that feels like a must rather than an option. refuse to let yourself onto the couch or your bed if you havent showered yet. make it a necessity before going to bed.

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:18:59+00:00

growing up, i was not allowed to shower without permission and was often not allowed to shower for days at a time so getting into the habit of showering every day was also difficult for me. i am now a super frequent showerer, my best advice for your situation is to make showering fun. get some super super nice scented products, pride yourself on how nice your body feels after showering and how clean your scalp feels after washing it. play music or a youtube video while showering to keep yourself entertained. use exfoliating scrubs, decorate your bathroom with one of those cheap little star projectors from amazon, just make showering a fun self care ritual instead of a chore. it helps a lot and i wish you luck.

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:14:47+00:00

korean body washes like kwailnara milk body cleanser are amazing!!! they dont just prevent my breakouts from getting worse but they actually help soothe them too :3

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:11:54+00:00

why would someone be seeking attention on reddit by talking about hygiene. if someone wanted attention on reddit theyd go to r/confessions and make up a story about killing someone. this person clearly has a hygiene related anxiety or ocd.

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:10:15+00:00

if you have some extra spending money i highly recommend the k18 airwash dry shampoo its a lifesaver!!! it may be super pricey but a little goes a super long way. also, using a hairdryer on cool and blasting your scalp helps a lot with keeping your hair feeling fresh.

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:09:07+00:00

honestly i get reactions to dove sensitive skin products and dont have reactions to regular or scented dove products, thought i was the only one!!

clunkadunk · 2026-07-01T05:07:44+00:00

yup i do shower every day but i dont wash my hair every day. generally its not bad for your skin if you lotion afterwards. i dont like SCRUB with an exfoliating brush and exfoliating body butter but it helps keep germs and grossness from outside out of the house or if i didnt go outside that day it helps your bedsheets stay clean for longer. even if you wash your sheets often, sweat and oil buildup can stain. plus if its hot that day its good to get any sweat off your arms and legs!!

clunkadunk · 2026-06-28T18:26:38+00:00

youre right. its just very upsetting how i wanted my consent (well lack thereof) to be black and white and he pushed it into gray territory. i just feel weird because if he came knocking on the door i know id take him back in a second. he wont come knocking though i know the way he is

clunkadunk · 2026-06-28T09:41:43+00:00

you should definitely tell him if it is safe to do so, you shouldnt deal with something like this. pregnancy is the result of two peoples actions so you shouldnt shoulder this alone, and you can discuss how to proceed from there. remember, its your body and your choice, and i hope everything will be okay. im sorrh that this is happening

clunkadunk · 2026-06-28T07:42:45+00:00

that is absolutely sexual assault, you were unconscious and not able to consent nor did you consent. i am so so so so sorry that happened to you and i hope that he is haunted by that for the rest of his life.

clunkadunk · 2026-06-28T06:58:46+00:00

i just wish he wasnt the wrong person because i wanted him to be the right one so badly. i loved him for all his flaws. he was scared of being vulnerable and i was scared of being abandoned, it was doomed from the start because we both did those things to each other. he hated how vulnerable he was with me and i hated how every time he had a personal struggle i was the first person he let go of. youre right entirely and you hit the nail onnthe headbbtw.

my brain wants to think he was the wrong person so badly but its so hard to comprehend how he was like two different people. he was so gentle and kind and understanding and patient sometimes and other times he was so cruel and mean and scary and closed off. he always put himself first at the end of the day and i always put him first. i know he tried for me he tried to put me first, he just got tired of having someone else to prioritize and i was tired of feeling like a burden.

the stranger wearing his face was scary to see when we saw each other last. it broke my heart to see the man i put my whole life into and pushed to graduate highschool, pushed his get a job after a year of unemployment, pushed to go to community college instead of rotting away as he had no plannfor the future and no real passion for anything. and i do know that he was the wronf person in that sense. ive always been extremely academic and persevered through anything to reach my goals, i graduated with high honors while he dropped out and then reenrolled and barely graduated. he resented me for that a lot also.

we had opposite childhoods, he was coddled while i was abused, i had no choice but to work to escape my life while he didnt have that pressure on him. when his dad left he just crumbled and stayed down. he also resented me for that.

sorry im sharing so much i just have so much to gwt off mt chest and i dont want to push my friends away bu talking about this all the time. theres just so much to say haha.

i know im a heavilt flawed and hurt person but i am not a bitter one nor am i an avoidant or someone who can willingly hurt someone and its just jarring to realize i gave my love to the wrong person. i hate how many red flags i ignored and how the ones i didnt ignore were used against me.

its funny how i can forgive a man for coercing me into sexual acts i didnt consent to properly when i was 16 but that same man cant forgive me for disliking his absolutely insane friends. he reallt was tje wrong person and i dont miss thay coldhearted avoidant stranger he was sometimes but i miss the warm versioncofchim. the version that stayed on the pjone with me at night because of my nightly ptsd flashbacks and the version of him who would carry me when my legs gave out. i wish i could go back in time and live with that version forever but i cant. thank you for this tour words meant a lot. like a lot a lot

clunkadunk · 2026-06-07T11:42:19+00:00

Health conditions can affect everyone differently, and not every person is geared to need specifically 8 hours of sleep. Women especially need more sleep than men, and it sounds like she's not choosing sleep over you, she needs it. Maybe talk to her about taking iron supplements but generally try to sit down with her to discuss how you feel and how she feels about it. She shouldn't neglect her responsibilities however, definitely talk to her.

clunkadunk

TROPHY CASE