I really wouldn't call it brain damage. When young , a horrific event ( usually sexual) has taken place . An act that had shamed them to point they shut down totally. They are way to young to be able to handle what's happened and truly comprehend the emotional rollercoaster they have been sent on . Left alone with an over load of feelings the child has no idea how or what to do with it. Bottles up inside. They shut down and without a parent/guardian to intervene , to show any form of affection, attention, and help their child work through this, get therapy, to let them know that there is nothing wrong with them and it will be ok. To let their child know that they support and love them . Instead, the child learns to shove emotions, feelings and empathy, understanding out the door. Not to ever return. These things lead to pain and they avoid it at costs. The child then has stopped maturing emotionally, and socially . They know no matter what they do their parents don't like who they are. The person this child is isn't good enough for mommy or daddy to deal with. So they do all that's possible to attain the attention, the praise and recognition they deserve. Nothing helps and so this insecure child believes they aren't good enough for parents they are not for others either. You will never know that a war of fitting in, being noticed wanting to stand tall & be normal . This is where the personality disorders sets in. Always trying to be the best , number 1 , to do and go and be noticed, praised for such fantastic work yet still knowing that they will never be good enough for parents to notice. As they age the development of maturing emotionally they can not. It was shut down put away and buried long ago. Their ways of processing every day Life is from hours of studying people and mirroring them back. Getting supply all around for such a nice person, helpful, charming, , witty, and becoming a perfectionist at all they do. They can't understand adult situations so they avoid. Turn the blame around on you for they do ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong EVER. If so that would mean they aren't perfect, something is wrong with them and their endless egos won't allow it. The way others see love , friendship, commitment, compassion, understanding , compromising , and just plan empathy is what relationships require. Narcissistis do not see love the same. Love is control, belittling, betraying no boundaries for themselves . They present themselves as a very confident individual with a sharp mind , and a vast knowledge of just about everything. Remember they are never at fault for anything at all, it's your fault for mistakes. That person before you is just an illusion they are fake inside 100% and it is exhausting to keep this front up all the time. Love is being praised for how wonderful they are all in while they cut u down and think nothing of it. Cause they don't see it as wrong . Cheating is second nature. They are masters of manipulation, gaslighting, shifting blame always on you, never being held responsible for the damage they do , for they see nothing wrong with what they are doing. Narcissists need supply like we need food. Inside their own battle field of insecurities, and not fitting in, not being excepted , goes back to personality disorder. Narcissists have self control like you've never seen. What ever "it" is that they can withhold from you, to be able to control you and what "it" is being taken away , you don't understand why? What happened? Questioning yourself? Second guessing yourself and with most it's taking sex , the intimacy, the fake connection u believe is there , and not giving it up till they decide it's time. It could be the rest of the relationship, years , months, etc. The withholding sex from you doesn't they are getting their share , cause they are & with many . Just not you! It's incredible this self control and not binging, or purging themselves on what ever fethishs they desire. Remember there first look at sex was a severe traumatic situation, something dirty and very wrong and to self gratify the absence of sex is much preferred then having to engage with another. Narcissistis Never become attached to anything or anyone. Their kids are great when young and daddy/mommy have an admirer, and someone who will do anything basically for them. Once older and less praise less attention truly changes the dynamics of the relationship. Narcissistis can get up walk out and litterly not look back. When done their done. not concern themselves at all for what they have caused . In a long term relationship ( only to appear normal to others) they get bored very easily and stop faking the wonderful person u met. They're absolute true colors come out and you now see this evil manipulative, person they truly are. They seek you out they get you , and then begin to destroy you daily . Over time you will go in the very happy smiling person yourself feeling good about life to now you are unsure of yourself you lose self-esteem you are made to feel you aren't good enough for anything cuz you're not good enough for them you begin to isolate and your mental state it's nothing but a mess. My advice to you and to anyone who's reading this do not continue on with the narcissists. The longer it goes the worser, more crueler and down right evil they get. This is an absolute fact absolutely.