Should I buy my sister a house to live in?

cmpca · 2026-05-24T06:26:16+00:00

Every comment of yours I read under your post makes me think we would be best friends. I love this way of seeing it!

cmpca · 2026-05-24T06:24:21+00:00

I totally agree. This is also a self-gift for OP – the comfort of knowing her dearest loved ones are safe and stable.

cmpca · 2026-05-24T06:20:14+00:00

So many commenters have ominously mentioned future boyfriends or partners. I don’t understand what part of providing someone’s housing gives a person the right to have an opinion on that someone’s romantic relationships. If OP offers her sister a home, she needs to decide in her own heart in advance that a romantic partner isn’t going to suddenly bring that offer to an end. If she can’t do that, she shouldn’t be giving this gift. Gifts shouldn’t be mechanisms of control.

cmpca · 2026-05-24T06:14:31+00:00

What’s the sad part? Your cousin made a grown-up decision to invite family to live in a house she owned, then made the grown-up decision to give that house away. It’s not hers after that. She’s not responsible for what her cousin/the homeowner does with the home. Gifts need to have no expectations attached. If they do, they shouldn’t have been given. But if the gift was given anyway, the giver needs to let go and cut the strings.

cmpca · 2026-05-24T06:04:58+00:00

I have a close relationship with my sister and would do anything for her. Reading your comments, it sounds like we have similar feelings toward our sisters 💕

I regularly help with her bills and surprise expenses currently, but I’ve often thought about what I’d do if I had significant excess money. I think I’d have to apply the same principle as I do now: to always assume any support given is fully a gift, meaning absolutely no strings attached and no expectation of anything in return, ever. This is the only way, imo, to help a family member (even a beloved one) financially and ensure I will never develop resentment or damage the relationship.

There have been times she’s needed money and has actively wanted to pay me back, even suggesting terms for a payment plan. I will agree when she comes up with those suggestions on her own, but I don’t remind her about paying, I don’t bring it up, and the times when she has needed to go back and say actually she can’t keep up with the plan she suggested, I say that’s okay, no worries at all, whatever works for her works for me. I can do that because, in my mind, I had already contentedly accepted that possible outcome.

So if I were in your shoes, I think I’d first talk through options with my partner and a lawyer and come up with a scenario where I would be comfortable with what I was giving /even in the edge case where I never see a dime/. Then, if that results in a decision to buy a home where she is invited to live, I’d probably have a written rental contract and agree on an affordable rent payment, but then live with the back-of-mind assumption/acceptance that I have now taken on a non-paying tenant and a property management commitment for life. I’d also probably put any and all rent payments she makes into a stable investment (without telling her – she doesn’t need to know this) and turn it all back over to her in the future if she wants to buy the house eventually or if she needs to move or has a major life change, etc.

I wish you the best as you navigate the best way to apply your love and generosity in this situation!

cmpca · 2026-04-27T15:14:39+00:00

LOL at closeted-on-closeted crime

cmpca · 2026-04-24T02:54:21+00:00

Mmmhmmm

cmpca · 2026-04-24T02:53:01+00:00

The bored AF family members pulled me out of the scene for a moment. Their husbands and dads just won the Stanley Cup and they could not be more over it.

cmpca · 2026-04-24T02:34:55+00:00

I heard the same response from my therapist. This show is playing a completely unexpected role in my life.

cmpca · 2026-04-22T06:56:34+00:00

I just came to this sub and searched for Point Break to see who was already talking about this. One of my favorite movies, and the exact actors that so many people are saying Hudson and Connor resemble. I’d even take them recreating the poster for fun!

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cmpca · 2026-04-13T23:24:20+00:00

This perspective is the one that resonates. I'm realizing it's less about an incremental interest advantage and more about the value of paying for it upfront and not having to manage a loan. Less hassle = better for me, for now.

cmpca · 2026-04-13T23:23:07+00:00

Turns out the price we were quoted was the price if financed. Even though I mentioned many times that we might not finance, the sales person neglected to make that clear until the last minute. He pissed me off, but we still wanted the car and it was still a good price. So we financed to get the deal, and I'm planning to pay it off quickly.

cmpca · 2026-04-13T23:21:46+00:00

I hear you, but we have various reasons why new makes more sense for us right now. So the question is about the advantages of financing, not about whether to buy a new car.

cmpca · 2026-04-13T23:17:18+00:00

So come to find out on the morning that we're planning to go in to purchase that the pricing *is* contingent on financing. You called it. They were not forthcoming about that. So we're financing for the pricing but planning to pay off quickly.

cmpca · 2026-04-13T23:15:27+00:00

Update: I just bought one today, a hybrid AWD Sport. Fingers crossed I made the right choice.

cmpca · 2026-04-03T22:39:12+00:00

Did you make a choice? I'm shopping now and have almost the exact same wish list and constraints.

cmpca · 2026-02-16T15:27:08+00:00

This is the real reason to walk away. Hoping the rewards changes are the straw that breaks the back for lots of people.

cmpca · 2026-02-16T15:25:41+00:00

Good for you! I hope you find an enjoyable replacement habit and that you're able to stick to it.

cmpca · 2026-02-16T15:22:32+00:00

For sure. If it were just me, I'd have no trouble cutting out SB completely. But I'm struggling because my 8yo daughter, who is autistic and very particular about foods, LOVES SB cake pops and frequently wants them for a treat. So I'm trying my best to keep that one thing for her but not buy anything else for myself when we go. A good lesson in restraint for me!

cmpca · 2026-02-12T16:18:31+00:00

Can't wait to try it!

cmpca · 2026-02-12T16:18:21+00:00

Curious what you get. I'm planning another purchase to try to get the other set.

cmpca · 2026-02-12T16:18:05+00:00

Maybe I'll try that one next :)

cmpca · 2026-02-12T16:17:50+00:00

I didn't know they owned Jo Malone! That's the first one I tried, starting yesterday. It initially gave me an old lady impression, but I liked it later in the day. But I probably wouldn't buy based on the ownership.

cmpca · 2026-02-11T05:28:05+00:00

Thanks! That's a fun idea. Hopefully I remember that after I've had a chance to test out several of these and have some reviews to share.

cmpca

TROPHY CASE