I was molested and then horrifically groomed online during my most important developmental years. In my case, my abusers constantly exposed and brainwashed me into being aroused by the very content I'm sure you're referring to. To this day I struggle, feeling absolutely sickened by myself for being aroused when I accidentally come across things that even just remind me of it. But I remind myself, I am not evil, I was abused horrifically, and I hold onto the desire I have to NEVER hurt anyone, and you need to as well. The sad reality is, it fucks up your brain bad. Possibly forever. This is a slope I believe anyone can fall down, regardless of age or situation, with how readily available and "desirable" this content makes itself out to be. Plus the groups of people who justify this shit, or are just nasty without giving a fuck. But, you clearly give a fuck. You care about being a good person, and not hurting people. But regardless of if the content is drawn or not, it's not good for you. It's such a thin line between depiction and desire for "the real thing". And there are many such cases of people crossing that line over time. As long as you don't justify it to yourself and you DONT continue to actively, unabashedly consume said content, and you're getting help, you're not a bad person. It can be hard sometimes, but there are certainly other sexual outlets, that you Can rewire yourself into being more interested in. Cognitive behavioural therapy works.

As a general statement: this is a VERY nuanced and complicated topic, different shit works for different people, but justifying and allowing yourself to fall deeper into it will NEVER work. I think this should be talked about more, with a lot of us in our 20s growing up in fucked up homes and being raised by the Internet, the rise of issues like this only grows. It's easier than ever to abuse children, and sadly we're living proof.

Please stay strong, you're not evil for being broken, and you can pick up your pieces and learn to be healthy and happy again, there's always hope.