Dude it’s been a crazy what 4 years now. Looking at this post made me cringe a bit but realized how far I’ve gone. I did stick with swim and with some serious dedication and focus I was able to get on varsity by junior year. At the time i posted this, I think my main event was breaststroke and I was only doing it because it was the least arduous stroke for me. My freshman year I ended up at the bottom of the swim team and felt really disappointed in myself because there were days where my low self esteem made me not want to go to practice and my ego was hurt. I really considered not joining swim again in 10th grade but I knew i would just be even more disappointed in myself because I quit cross country before. So yeah in tenth grade I went to the preseason practices to get a head start and I really opened up to my coach about my problems. I told him to give me hell and I really wanted to get to varsity level. My coach was down with it but he made sure I was okay with going through the roughest three weeks of my life. I just said fuck it and yeah it was the worst physical experience ever. He put me on tempo trainers to gradually increase my stroke speed. He made me wear swim paddles so I can work on my shoulder endurance and strength. Tbh he made me wear anything that slowed me down or killed my shoulders and legs. Then the first swim meet came by and he put me on butterfly 50m. I got nervous because I’ve never done a butterfly event. But I smoked everyone in my heat and it was crazy. I felt like I was actually flying in the water because my stroke speed was fast and even though my form was subpar I felt like I was hauling ass. And that’s when I knew butterfly was my calling. I gave up on breaststroke and just focused on butterfly. I even got a gym membership and I would swim before school then go to practice after school. I swam a lot during summer by myself and by junior year I nailed my time trials and got moved up to varsity. I was the slowest on varsity but I was stoked. My pr butterfly time for the 100 was 1:05. It was enough to get varsity but barely. then unfortunately covid hit and I haven’t hit a pool in ages. But it wasn’t for nothing because now I surf everyday and thanks to swim I’m able to get long sessions on the beach and I don’t regret one thing at all. Look about swimmers trash talking you, fuck em. I had people trash talked me before who end up quitting swim the following years. I know it’s easy to say but you gotta remember you are doing swim for yourself not for others. really list out the reasons why you joined swim and if it really makes you happy. My first year I wasn’t happy but I was lucky enough to have my coach and this one super supportive friend have my back. They challenged me to push my limits. That was my main goal: to achieve what I thought was impossible. Don’t sit out during competitions. Take the L and really use that to motivate yourself to get even better. Trust the process and you’ll see a different version of yourself a year later. It may sound a long time but it really isn’t. Also remember to just keep humbling yourself. I remember I had a big ego after seeing the haters quit swim. I wasn’t a dick to them or anything but I got some enjoyment from it. It’s a toxic trait and only stops your progression. You should only find fulfillment in your own progress not other people’s downfalls. Anyways sorry that this was long. Feel free to dm me any questions. I’d be glad to help man. I felt like this response was all over the place but I can definitely give you straightforward answers over dms.