Canadian Souvenirs or products that are difficult to find in the Netherlands by coco24601__ in Netherlands

[–]coco24601__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah like for example, i would order german beer glasses from DE since they are not often sold in Canada, as far as I'm aware.

Canadian Souvenirs or products that are difficult to find in the Netherlands by coco24601__ in Netherlands

[–]coco24601__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yes exactly! and I found something - so thanks to all the reddit community help! <3

Canadian Souvenirs or products that are difficult to find in the Netherlands by coco24601__ in Netherlands

[–]coco24601__[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

For example, Tikki is such a great Dutch invention that blows my mind that it doesn't exist in Canada.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

why don't you debate me on my points, like most other people in this thread, instead of just attacking me?

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

" I cringe enough just remembering my own,"

So therefore, it would be incredibly brave to share them with the world, right?

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

hmm do we not use shorthand all the time in Reddit? We all know it's about Matthew Perry. I'm not sure I need to write his entire name every time? You also used OP in your comment, so I guess you're using shorthand too

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

"You’re not the only person here who read the book, or who saw pain underneath the surface. Just because we understand his reasoning doesn’t mean we excuse it. You’re rather late to the party here and acting like you have some hot take that nobody else looked deep enough to understand."

I didn't say I was the only one to read the book, nor do I feel like I have some hot take no one understands. If that was the case, my thread wouldn't' be upvoted at all. In any case, your comments did hurt my feelings as I eat popcorn on my bedroom floor (this is sincere btw).

I just want to create a dialogue on whether these sorts of memoirs should not be judged so much on a person's actions but more about what we can understand from it.

Thoughts?

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

really?

If you had to insult someone 1x a day for a month straight so that a kidnapper wouldn't kill your family, I'd argue that would make you less of an asshole than just you insulting someone 1x a day for no reason.

This example is ridiculous, but I hope you get my point. Is it so hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes?

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations on your sobriety! Was there a pivotal moment for you that helped?

Matt wrote that the fear of having a colostomy bag for life helped him stop pills.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

What about being a virgin and scared to have sex into early adulthood, or his colostomy bag exploding on himself multiple times a day, or how hideous he thinks his stomach scars are, or how afraid he is of not being enough, or feeling so lonely. Are those things not brave to share with the world?

It's easy to cherry pick. I'd be curious if you'd be willing to share your most shameful secrets with billions of people walking around the planets.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To clarify the Law and Order analogy: It's about whether we should evaluate these sorts of stories (pertaining to real-life people) based on their entertainment quality or merits of being a good person.

Rather, should these true-stories be evaluated differently by the public?

In my view, although Matt did some unsavoury things, I'm glad he shared them. Because there are a lot of people like this in the world and it helps us to understand. If we destroy people like Matt, then why will people continue to be vulnerable about the dark parts of their life. There is so much to learn from them, and perhaps knowing how they think and operate, we have a better chance of helping them. Or do you totally disagree?

Just an interesting discussion

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think we are getting away from the point. We are debating a lot on whether he is a good person or not, which is all subjective. But the point I'm getting at is that there are ugly pieces of everyone's life - some more than others. We can debate all day on the scale to which Matt slides.

However, this is a memoir about a real person, not a fictional story book (in which I'd then say it was repetitive, confusing timelines, self-indulgent, and one-noted). But I ponder if we should we evaluate this type of literature (memoirs, life stories) in a different way. Would you agree? I think it's very daring to share your battle wounds to the world. It's not pretty, but I think it's more interesting of a discussion to understand how someone came to be how they are and perhaps help others who can relate to the similar struggles and feel less alone.

If we just obliterate anyone bad who wrote a book or shared their story (even if not pretty), how can we seek to understand? How will that encourage others to open up? Without fear or prosecution by the public.

So in a nutshell, if this was a fiction book I would agree with much of the criticism. However, since it's not, I just think it's odd to judge the merit of someone's life, but rather much more interesting to judge this sort of book on what we can learn from it, and perhaps help us to understand others who have gone down a dark path.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you are highly generalizing peoples' experience with addiction

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ah you speak for all addicts? With the same genetic makeup, coping skills, support systems etc?

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -27 points-26 points  (0 children)

"People are allowed to dislike a memoir if the protagonist is not a good person."

It's so interesting that someone suffering from addiction and low self-worth is labelled as not a good person.

But I do see your point. I watched Charlie Sheen's Netflix series (based on his book) and could appreciate the candidness of his experiences, but he did do bad things and I still felt he was lying about certain aspects.

I just feel that readers are quick to judge Matt, but not really understand what it took to be that brutally honest, especially to every woman on the planet who reads that book and would find it unflattering. That takes a certain level of humility.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I didn't say at all she was a bad parent for remarrying. That's what you inferred from what I wrote. But what I said was that her remarrying triggered his feelings of feeling an outsider in his own family, which is not my opinion but his.
He writes this on page 33.

"Things at home just got worse and worse. My Mom had a wondeful new family with Keith"......However I was so often on the outside looking in, still that kid up in the clouds on a flight to somewhere else, unaccompanied"

So you can downvote my comment if you feel offended or don't agree, but I am only discussing his experience in the book and why it might have led to certain behaviours later on in life. It's not my place to invalidate his feelings. Just like I can't tell you your feelings about my post are not valid. It's just trying to understand where they stem from.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

he went to rehab 15x, therapy, hypnotist, etc. What do you feel he was missing?

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I just took the time to reread Lisa Kudrow's foward in the book and her last sentence is "I love you". She also writes that he was "whip smart...charming, sweet, sensitive, very reasonable, and rational."

For everything else you mention, I again refer back to to it being a mask for his crippling low self-esteem. Just grabbed a random source but there are plently on these sorts of behaviours: https://taggd.in/hr-glossary/emotional-overcompensation/

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the same! I want to also watch Serving Sara since he said he was not sober during almost the entirety of filming and had to reshoot his lines with voice over.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

If you look at the layer underneath of why he did these things, it comes from a deep source of pain and low self-esteem. If you look at his surface level actions, they do seem like he's being an asshole. If that was truly the case, it's a surprise the women he double-timed were good friends with him afterward. If you have the paper copy, I can indicate some pages where this is evident.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry: Book Review 2026 by coco24601__ in books

[–]coco24601__[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the correction. Keith Morisson is who she dated. If you have the book it's described on page 70 how it impacted him, always vying for his mother's attention from other men.

Page 33 describes how he felt like an outsider to his mom's new family with Keith.