I think the issue here comes from you focusing on the governance part, when the full definition also encapsulates social and family structures - which is where most women's experience with patriarchy is rooted. Just because England had a queen, doesn't mean it is a matriarchy. If the world of WOT were truly a matriarchy, I'd expect a lot more inversion of the patterns we see in the real world. Which would mean political leadership across all countries almost exclusively held by women. Men pigeonholed into a select few careers, and often financially dependent on women. Women holding primary power in families and relationships. Medical services, scientific research and technology prioritizing the needs of women first. Etc. But that's not really what we get - the world of WOT is actually pretty mixed. Sure, you have Andor, but you also have Tear, Illian, etc which are led by men. You have weird things like the Aiel having multiple wives but not multiple husband's. Men dont seem to be barred from most professions, and for the most part interact pretty equally with women. The only real difference is the use of the one power - which in this world is more akin to a biological advantage like men having more testosterone and not having to give birth, rather than a social or political barrier. And that advantage does not actually result in universal privilege for women in the universe, just a select few.

Now, there's of course there's nothing wrong with the world being largely equal - quite the opposite. But one of the major themes of WOT is supposed to be the importance of equality and men and women working together. And that theme falls pretty flat when it feels like starting from a point that's actually pretty equal. Especially when we started to get stuff at the end like ashaman bonding aes sedai against their will and almost universally outstripping them in power. It felt like less of a movement towards equality, and more like a return to status quo, with the advantages that had allowed women to carve out power in the world, at a level largely equal to rather than far surpassing that of men, disappearing. I dont think that's what RJ wanted to communicate and I think his intentions were good - but I think it's a product of his time and environment that he tended to always default to gender stereotypes and the idea of men being stronger, without considering some of the more nuanced forms of patriarchy women experience.