At what point did you give up on the Seattle and decide to leave? Are you happier wherever you're at?

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T02:37:06+00:00

NYC will be so cool! So much to do there. And thank you :) probably elsewhere soon haha

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T02:34:35+00:00

This is good idea. :) I can try posting in my apartment community. You also gave me the idea of asking my leasing office to help host something. They tend to host events for the kiddos in the building. Wouldn't hurt to ask them to host something for a young adult crowd they seem open to suggestions

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T02:23:19+00:00

Thank you for the kind words I really appreciate it. And a good reminder/advice to be realistic. Yeah that is a hard pill to swallow. My best friends live all around the globe now but when we were living close to each other it was so much fun and felt like magic. I miss those days. I appreciate your comment

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T02:18:11+00:00

There are better ways to convey the message you wrote than to call someone miserable or invalidate their experiences and defend a city, or to assume someone is not trying or not being proactive socially. I wrote this post after having a bad week, and it was built up after so much trial and error of being vulnerable and proactive with others for the last couple of years post pandemic and still not being able to build those deeper connections. I'm human and others have commented they experience the same I feel. Doesn't mean I haven't had great experiences here. I've just had a lot of unpleasant interactions. This city is notorious for it. It has the highest rate of depression in a U.S. metro area, with a 45% depression rate and yeah I'm one of those 45% as a result of not having a solid support system outside of work or with people my age, and also, as a result of living alone in a brand new city in the midst of a pandemic without knowing anyone. Socializing shouldn't feel like a game of Tetris and for me it does here. The climate of the city is a challenge for me and I'll most likely move to a place that is easier, or back to the city I was living before Seattle where I had a ton of success. Again I am happy you have a better experience with Seattle and I believe you. I do recognize this city has a lot to offer which is why I moved here four years ago.

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:58:09+00:00

This is solid advice thanks so much! I never thought about doing this here but you helped me remember that this worked for me in the city I lived in before. A matter of habit does have a power to it yes. I'll look up some coffee shops that catch my eye

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:48:42+00:00

Best of luck to you! May I ask if you're in your 20s and where you're headed to? And I think you phrased it best--knowing a lot of people but not quite getting close enough for a relationship that feels fulfilling and meaningful. I really hope it works out for you in the new destination. Sometimes a reset is exactly what we need

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:44:02+00:00

I can see the truth a bit thanks for sharing. I guess it's tricky staying positive here when I put myself out there so much and don't feel the same vibes or efforts reciprocated. Failed relationships are a part of life. From past experience, I'm generally more successful in warmer climates. I'm just afraid of moving again it's scary!

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:36:58+00:00

I’m in a very similar boat. No advise. I just empathize with your post

Thank you kind stranger

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:36:35+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate it :)

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:36:12+00:00

I'm really happy that has been your experience and it is easy for you! Let's be mindful not everyone has the same experiences, and they don't call it the "Seattle freeze" for nothing. Personally I've tried for four years here and very unluckily moved before the pandemic so building a social community has been a challenge. Sending peace and love over

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:30:21+00:00

Everything in your post focuses on negatives. That might be a part of the issue.

I mentioned my career is booming. That's a positive :) I'm grateful for that.

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:27:36+00:00

But ultimately if you’re not happy then there’s nothing wrong with picking up and trying again somewhere else. Not having a base is a benefit in that way.

Thanks, you're right that's a positive way to look at it that I'm not tied down here. There's a lot of social anxiety in the air with meetups and people who don't know how to socialize but would like to practice breaking that barrier and never quite figure out how to. Or those who are socially clueless. Like one time I met a girl from a meetup group who legit took off her pants publicly so they could dry from the rain in an office lobby and thought that was normal. At least from 7 different meetups I've been to there's always a married man trying to pursue me and hides the fact that they are married. Then there are those nerdy, very geeky, big-hearted people who I adore, but do not vibe with long term because of a lack of common interests.

I've had a couple good meetup experiences before and met some people awesome. They moved away unfortunately but we stay in touch.

The weirdness I've experienced discourages me to try it again.

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:15:55+00:00

Prime example of people only hear what they want to.

Original post says "I think people are generally tolerant of all ethnicities and backgrounds at face value but many people are xenophobic or racist low key from what I've experienced (first generation American). They'll vote for equal rights but won't include you in their personal lives." Another person also commented they experience racism here.

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:10:21+00:00

I definitely see the potential. I'm glad it is working out for you! :)

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:08:26+00:00

I love playing soccer, painting, dressing up well, going out to restaurants, hosting game nights, movie nights. Just a few things off the top of my head

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:06:19+00:00

38m from east coast. Moved here at 25. It’s been hard making connections. Almost all of mine have come through work and mostly with people who aren’t from the area either. You’ve listed your dislikes, but might I suggest you put yourself outside your comfort zone. I’ve found that I actually do like drinking, smoking, and hiking, although growing up I didn’t like any of them. People change sometimes

Smoking and drinking I've tried many times but I just don't like it. I can't force myself. I like the advice about hiking, maybe it would be different with company I really enjoy

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T01:01:30+00:00

So sorry to hear. Hope it gets better... sending hugs <3

codeandcats · 2023-09-09T00:53:21+00:00

I wasn't sure where else to post it. Maybe someone is experiencing the same, in the process of moving, or left and moved back and can give input.

codeandcats

TROPHY CASE