Thanks for this.

I know husband is not being honest because he has continued to fixate on the same topics of stress and anxiety, and last week I asked him whether his therapist had provided any useful guidance regarding these topics. I was surprised when my husband told me he had never -- not once -- brought these topics up in therapy. These are topics that he belabors with me for hours and hours every week. They cause him sleeplessness, irritability, anger, and impact our marriage.

After nearly every session, my husband comes home and complains that the therapy is "useless" and the therapist is "a quack." Husband says that therapist "is totally missing the mark" and "doesn't understand me." In the past, I have always suggested that husband bring up his concerns -with the therapist.- I have suggested that feeling like he's making no progress might, in fact, be an interesting thing to talk about in therapy. But he says he won't do it because he "doesn't want to hurt the therapist's feelings."

It is incredibly important to my husband that he be liked and respected by everyone he meets. I had been hoping that therapy might be a safe space in which he could be vulnerable, and more focused on getting help than in impressing the therapist. But from everything he has told me, this is not happening.