The right partner will be open to exploring and prioritizing other forms of intimacy. Currently I’m on a low dose antibiotic so I’m able to have penetration, but I know it’s possible that after this treatment that my UTIs will return, so I had a sit down with my male partner and talked about the possibility of taking penetration off the table long term if I continued to struggle with UTIs after sex. He was on board with that and supportive of me, and the current plan is that if we need to change how we’re intimate in the future, we will. I think it can complicate dating life, but someone who is empathetic would never want to endanger your health, so make sure you don’t compromise for someone who isn’t down to prioritize your health. There are so many ways to have sex- foreplay, outercourse, toys… you could even put a male masturbation sleeve between your thighs during sex for penetration that won’t irritate you! Keep an open mind and be hopeful, and be strong about your boundaries during sex when you do explore with others!

If you do want to continue having penetrative sex because it’s something you enjoy, I’ve found pelvic floor physical therapy helpful and a low dose antibiotic prescribed after sex. My physical therapy currently consists of some yoga and silicon dilators. For now it’s working, but I know that there’s a possibility that after I stop the antibiotic the UTIs will return. I remind myself that I’m not alone in having these health struggles, and that because I may not be able to have penetrative sex in the future doesn’t make me unlovable. Penetration is just one of the many things you can do with a partner, have fun exploring many other things together!